Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled
In the 25+ years Janet Lansbury has worked with children and parents, she’s learned a lot. She’s here to share it with you. Each episode of Unruffled addresses a reader’s parenting issue through the lens of Janet’s respectful parenting approach, consistently offering a perspective shift that ultimately frees parents of the need for scripts, strategies, tricks, and tactics.
Janet is a parenting author and consultant whose website (JanetLansbury.com) is visited by millions of readers annually. Her work informs, inspires, and supports caregivers of infants and toddlers across the globe, helping to create authentic relationships of respect, trust, and love.
Janet’s ”No Bad Kids Master Course” is available at NoBadKidsCourse and JanetLansbury. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and ”Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting” are available in all formats at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or wherever you buy your books.
Featured in The New Yorker, recommended ’Best Parenting Podcast’ by The Washington Post, The New York Times, USA Today, The Cut, Fatherly, Today’s Parent, and many, many more.
Please note: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and advice presented on this podcast by Janet Lansbury and her guests are based on their training and experience. Opinions are offered in good faith but do not constitute professional, psychiatric, or medical advice, neither are they intended to be. You do not have to use this information, and it should not be substituted for qualified medical expertise.
Copyright JLML Press (2025) All Rights Reserved
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Eating Disorders, Healthy Body Image: What Parents Need to Know (With Grace Lautman, CN, LMHC)
Janet is joined by Grace Lautman, a therapist and nutritionist who focuses on eating disorders, the conditions that can create and aggravate them, and how eating — or not eating — can be a symptom of mental health issues. She writes: "My hope has always been to provide accepting spaces for all individuals and bodies to explore and honor their relationships with food, body, and self." Janet and Grace discuss some of the early signs of eating disorders, and how our own relationship with food and body image throughout our lives can affect our children beginning in the early years.
Grace's Website: https://www.honornutritioncounseling.com/
Instagram: honor_nutrition_counseling
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Rejection, Exclusion, Teasing — What to do When Friends Aren't Kind
We all want our kids to enjoy thriving friendships, to feel appreciated by supportive peers. But that's not always case, and it can be heartbreaking to see the hurt, disappointment, and confusion our child feels when — for whatever reason —friends aren't treating them as they should. How do we support our kids' to navigate this? How much should we intervene? And what might intervening look like? Janet has an empowering perspective that she hopes will help, and she explains how it might apply in the cases of 4 different families who have recently reached out to her about their kids' challenging interactions with peers.
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Sleep, Baby, Sleep (with Hari Grebler)
RIE expert Hari Grebler joins Janet to discuss her respectful and surprisingly simple ideas for helping our babies to sleep. Hari's positive approach begins with babies and applies to toddlers as well, ultimately building a foundation that serves our needs and those of our children throughout their lives.
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Secrets to Talking to Kids About Anything
3 families reach out to Janet and ask, "How do I say it?" Listen to find out more!
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I'm Bad, I'm Stupid—Kids Being Harsh on Themselves
"I'm annoying, bad, stupid, not good at anything. I hate myself." It can be disconcerting to hear our kids say such unkind things about themselves, using harsh words that we've made a point not to use with them. Is this perfectionism? Low self-esteem? Passing feelings of vulnerability? What can we do to encourage our kids to stop bagging on themselves like this? How can we build up their self-image and self-confidence? Janet responds to notes from two concerned families, weighing in with encouraging advice and a point of view that can make all the difference.
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My Boy Seems Anxious, Sensitive, Easily Overwhelmed... Is This Normal?
Janet responds to three parents who are worried that their kids seem overly anxious and sensitive in social situations. Each parent has tried to be patient and trusting, but they wonder if their child's temperament may be abnormal, especially when compared to their peers. Aside from frustration and concern, one parent says: "I'm so lost... Sometimes I feel shame — not about him — but because I want to do fun things with him, but he always pulls back and retreats." Janet offers advice and a lot of encouragement.
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Discipline Isn't Working - 3 Common Reasons and What To Do Instead
Effective discipline can be confusing! It can feel like we're working so hard to be caring, empathetic, and patient with our kids—and not lose our temper—yet still, the challenging behaviors keep happening. And then when we try to set boundaries, our child has a meltdown that seems to last forever. What are we doing wrong? In this episode of "Unruffled" Janet explores three common reasons our attempts at respectful discipline can end up being ineffective. She suggests nuanced adjustments that can make all the difference. Her recommendations will not only help to simplify our approach (for the win!) but also help our kids to feel safe, seen, and supported, deepening our parent-child bonds.
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Struggling with a Strong-Willed Toddler's Tantrums
This week Janet consults with the single mother of a 2.5-year-old who's concerned about how she's handling her daughter's behaviors. She describes her toddler as strong-willed, smart, intuitive, loving, sweet, and caring, but when she doesn't get what she wants, she loses it, throwing things, hitting, and screaming. This parent realizes that her daughter's behavior is developmentally normal and maybe even necessary, but it upsets her, as the model she was raised with was entirely different. "I grew up under the auspices of spare the rod, spoil the child," she says. "I don't want that for my baby. I will not be that kind of mom. She deserves better." Janet makes several observations as to how this parent is already achieving her goals, and offers advice for framing her toddler's behaviors in a manner that will make it easier for this mom to calm herself and continue nurturing their relationship in a positive direction.
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How to Handle Our Kids' Obsessive Jealousy
Bossiness. Toy taking. Unkind words. Hitting. Behaviors like these are particularly common between siblings but can happen with peers as well, and they're frustrating and disturbing for us to witness. How to we address them? Separate the warring factions? Issue a mandate? Negotiate a settlement? Perhaps just let it play out? In this episode, a parent writes that her four-year-old loves his 2.5-year-old sister dearly, but "he is insanely jealous, obsessed with having the same or more than her, whether it's food, toys, Easter eggs, crayons... It seemed like a phase, but it's become an obsession." This mom describes all the strategies she's tried to deal with her son's behavior, but to no avail. After considering the causes and conditions of this boy's behavior, Janet offers a respectful approach she believes help alleviate the situation for all.
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3 Ways to Lift Your Parenting Spirits (with Loryn Brantz)
Loryn Brantz is an Emmy-winning author, illustrator, and mom of two, who once built puppets for Sesame Street. Loryn joined Janet on a previous episode of "Unruffled" to talk about parenting a child with disabilities, sharing the joys and challenges of her journey with honesty and her signature warmth and wit. Her new book "Poems of Parenting" is a funny, touching, and totally relatable collection about her ups and downs raising kids, the awkward and sometimes difficult moments she's come to cherish, and ultimately how she's come to embrace her role as a parent.
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In an Age of Anxiety, How to Stop Worrying and Raise Less Stressed Kids (with Dr. William Stixrud)
In this encore episode, Janet’s guest is Dr. William Stixrud, a clinical neuropsychologist and co-author of "The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives." Bill Stixrud's decades of experience counseling children and their parents have led to conclusions that complement and support Janet's own parenting philosophy, especially topics such as encouraging self-confidence, intrinsic motivation, and inner-directedness. And since many of Bill's clients have been with him from childhood through adolescence and into adulthood, he has the benefit of seeing the results of his practice.
Bill and Janet discuss the value of giving our kids opportunities to make choices, discover and pursue their passions, and the challenges and benefits of being a non-anxious presence (because our "calm is contagious").
Dr. Stixrud is the founder of The Stixrud Group, a member of the teaching faculty at Children’s National Medical Center, and an assistant professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the George Washington University School of Medicine.
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Discipline That Works - Your Best Responses to Your Kids' Behaviors
Respectful, effective discipline can be challenging for us to learn, and experience is our best teacher! With that in mind, Janet shares several encouraging success stories from parents who faced frustrating or infuriating, sometimes alarming challenges with their kids. Subjects include disobedience, bedtime struggles, tantrums, aggressiveness, hitting, self-care, boundaries, and more. Each parent describes their before-and-after experience as they implemented advice or strategies from Janet's "No Bad Kids" approach. With each small success, parents found new confidence in their leadership, a sense of surety and calm in their interactions, and the realization that their relationship with their kids was growing stronger than ever.
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How to Stop the Screaming
There's nothing unusual about a child screaming, but sometimes it can become a go-to response to any situation. Janet responds to a parent who says her 3-year-old has become "stuck on screaming... She screams at her friends in the park, at my mom, at my dad, at my husband, at strangers..." And because of this parent's childhood environment, her daughter's screaming is triggering. She says it's very difficult for her to stay calm and reasonable. At times, it becomes too much for her, and although she realizes the irony in this, she ends up screaming back.
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Play That Builds Skills and Bonds Us (with Dr. Tina Payne Bryson)
Janet’s guest is Dr. Tina Payne Bryson. Her new book “The Way of Play” (co-authored with play therapist Georgie Wisen-Vincent) illustrates how playing with our kids in a receptive manner for even just a few minutes each day helps us to better understand them, while also encouraging their development of social skills, emotional regulation, resilience, and self-confidence. The guidelines Tina and Georgie offer in "The Way of Play" help make connecting through play easy, natural, and fun as well as richly effective for learning and bonding. As Tina explains, "The temptation can be to take over the play or be too instructive or didactic, to think we need to teach all kinds of lessons. But what's really powerful, as we follow our child's lead, is to be able to dive into their world." Janet and Tina do their own deep dive into all of these topics and more. Then they both respond to a letter from a parent struggling with her 4-year-old’s aggressive behaviors.
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Crying at Separation
Is it ever okay to say no to our child's requests for closeness or attention, to separate when that makes them upset? What if these requests are frequent, or even seem to evolve into a habit of unreasonable, seemingly over-the-top demands? In this episode Janet responds to two notes from parents who feel they may be in this predicament. One shares that her four-year-old "starts crying hysterically and won't calm down" if the parent doesn't acquiesce to her demands immediately. This parent understandably feels stressed. "It's getting to a ridiculous point, and the demands seem to be growing," she says. "It feels like I'm being held hostage."
The second mom shares that her two-year-old often cries when she leaves her side, even when her dad is there for her. She wonders if this is a sign her daughter is anxious and if there's something more or different the parents should be doing.
In both cases, these parents are hoping to help their kids feel more confident and secure, and Janet shares a perspective she believes will help them achieve these goals.
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When to Let Kids Quit
Enrichment classes, lessons, sports, Sunday school, and community events like Library Story Time can benefit our kids in many ways, but what do we do if our kids won't cooperate or participate? What if they seem okay with it at first, but then later want to quit? The questions raised by a parent's letter in this podcast are common ones: If our child is clearly distressed by an activity or outright rejecting it—even if they agreed to it to begin with—is it okay to let them stop? Will quitting set a negative precedent? What if we believe the activity is teaching important skills? Whose decision is it? Janet shares her perspective on the subject and offers guidelines for helping parents navigate this puzzling and often frustrating conundrum.
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It's Not Too Late to Stop Yelling or Spanking (with Lavinia Brown)
Janet is joined by inner child healing expert Lavinia Brown, whose previous appearance on "Unruffled" prompted a listener to write in to describe how she's struggled to control her angry and physically punitive responses to her three-year-old son's behavior. Raised in an authoritarian household in which she was spanked whenever she disobeyed, this mom has bravely started making changes. "I'm now convinced that spanking should never be an option," she writes. "I'm also seeing that all of these terrible parenting techniques are not working with my son. If anything, he has learned that it is acceptable to vent his frustrations by trying to hit me, kick me or scratch me." She desperately hopes she can heal her relationship with her son, who lately she noticed flinching in fear, but she worries, "Is it too late?" She also wonders how to get her husband on the same page. He tries to respect her choices but still believes that spanking can be effective. Lavinia and Janet offer their perspectives, suggestions, hope, and assurance that it's never too late for this parent or any parent to make positive, lasting changes in their relationships with their children.
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Tattling and Threats
Certain behaviors our kids display can really wind us up. In this episode, Janet offers a solution to three common ones. First, tattling—when our kids seem to have the incessant need to tell on friends or siblings for every minor thing they do. As adults, we might label this person as a gossip and steer clear. As parents, we might fear it could eventually lead to our child being alienated from his peers. Second are threats -- when our kids use ultimatums with peers, siblings, or us, like "If you don't do this, I'm going to... " (using their most challenging tone). Should they get away with this? How should we respond? Lastly, Janet covers actual warnings kids give us, like when they say, "I'm going to hit you," or "I'm about to hurt my sister." Shouldn't we be alarmed? Should we scold them and forbid them to say such things? Janet shares her advice on all of this and more in this week's episode!
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Stop Whining
Our child's whining can be the most earsplitting sound imaginable and, unfortunately, our negative reactions to whining can tend to make matters worse. How do we make the whining stop? A parent writes to Janet that her 7-year-old is constantly whining, pouting, and repeatedly asking her mom for new stuff. "Instead of playing with the entire Toys R Us we have in our home, she whines about the things she wants, and seriously, I'm going to lose my mind." Janet offers a perspective she hopes will help this parent and others whose kids won't seem to stop whining.
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Mean Kids
A parent writes to Janet that she's alarmed and heartbroken about the wedge that's developed between her and her 4-year-old son, "a very sweet, genuine, kind little person," due to his increasingly unkind, hurtful behavior. This mom feels she's tried everything and yet her son continues to hit, kick, pinch, scratch, and run away from her and her partner. The boy also makes threats like, "I'm going to punch you," sometimes following through. This mom suspects that two situations may be causing her son's behavior: "His sister is 18 months and speaking in short sentences, which I'm sure is a momentous change for him;" and "he is embroiled in ongoing conflict with two boys in his mixed age Montessori class. I say conflict, but it might be bullying." She's at a total loss and hoping Janet can offer her clarity and perspective.
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The Joy in Letting Babies Move Freely (with Elsa Chahin)
Elsa Chahin, President/CEO of Pikler/Loczy USA, has dedicated herself to carrying on the mission of visionary pediatrician and researcher Dr. Emmi Pikler, which is to promote "respectful and harmonious relationships between the youngest child and the adult." Like Janet, Elsa is also RIE Associate who studied under Pikler protege Magda Gerber. Elsa joins Janet in this episode to discuss the innumerable, proven benefits of allowing babies to develop their motor skills naturally. These benefits include physical competence, self-awareness, judicial risk-taking, inner-directed joyful learning, emotional health, and an enduring belief in themselves as capable people. As Elsa and Janet explain it, trusting our child's natural motor development can even make parenting easier, because all babies need from us are secure, intimate relationships and freedom to move.
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Too Needy, Too Stubborn, Too Emotional, Too Bossy, Too...
Parenting and worry seem to go hand-in-hand. Because we care so much, we watch our kids closely and can tend to perceive their traits and behaviors in a needlessly negative, worrisome light. In this episode, Janet explains why traits like sensitivity, bossiness, a toddler's insistence on doing it himself, and another child's seemingly constant need for a parent's validation can all be seen (and approached far more effectively!) as strengths.
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I Don't Like My Kids, and That Breaks My Heart (A Parent Consultation)
Janet consults with a distressed parent of two boys who feels stuck in a destructive pattern. She describes how she's struggling with feeling constantly irritated, overwhelmed, and just angry. “I love my kids more than anything,” she says, “but they’re driving me crazy.” Janet agrees with the mom that boundaries are a big part the issue and suggests a new approach for her to try. Surprisingly, the solution they come up with is not stricter enforcement, but just the opposite.
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If Consequences Aren't Working, Try This Instead
A parent with 2 children, 4 and 1.5-years-old, writes to Janet feeling disappointed and concerned that he's letting his children down. This dad admits that he’s very sensitive to his both children’s emotions, especially if they’re upset. In order to deal with their typical, rambunctious behaviors, he’s attempted to set reasonable boundaries with consequences in terms of dressing, bathing, bedtime, roughhousing, etc. This "If you do that, then... " strategy was effective for a while, he says, but lately seems to have backfired because his four-year-old is now giving him ultimatums. The boy's behaviors have become more extreme, and in response the dad says he threatens unnatural consequences, which leads to tears, more guilt, and on and on. “I hate the whole cycle,” he says. “I hate feeling like I’ve let them down. I hate the feeling of being out of control. Mostly, I hate and fear the breaking of trust and the positive relationship that I have with him.”
Janet offers her suggestions and encouragement.
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Resolving Our Kids' Annoying Behaviors
Janet addresses messages from parents who are feeling defeated and helpless in the face of their kids' persistently uncooperative, annoying and, in one case, hurtful behavior. All of these parents admit they are struggling, and that the approaches they've tried just don't seem to be working.
"... I am constantly getting at my child, telling her 'No, stop that, not so close,' etc., and after a while I get incredibly frustrated as I just need my personal space."
"My two year old has taken to saying "hate you!" literally 25 plus times a day."
"I dread having to go anywhere on my own with [my sons] for fear that I will be overwhelmed by their energy and powerless to keep them in-bounds in a way that feels unruffled."
Janet recommends an overall shift in these parents' approach that she believes will give them the confidence they need to help resolve their issues, and can be applied to almost every behavioral challenge parents face.
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Crying, Screaming, Resisting, Sadness - Your Best Responses to Kids' Emotions
Raising kids is a learning process, and (no doubt) there's a benefit to reflecting on the mistakes we make along the way. But Janet believes we can learn even more when we recognize and appreciate our successes, no matter how inconsequential they might seem to us as the time. Maybe it's the little bit of empathy we felt as we limited one of our child's bothersome behaviors. Or a momentary sense of confidence in ourselves as leaders rising above the fray. Or the realization that we could, just that once, let our child's feelings be without judging them, and then, the increased closeness we felt with our child when those feelings passed. In this episode Janet celebrates YOUR illuminating, inspiring stories, and she's exceedingly grateful to you for allowing her to share them.
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Be Careful What You Teach - It Might Interfere With What They Are Learning
Janet responds to a question from a caregiver who says the family she works for is interested in teaching their son ABC's and other lessons. The child is sometimes disinterested and refuses to participate, and she wonders: “Is there a respectful approach to teaching children?” Janet responds with an alternative perspective on early childhood learning that focuses on providing the best foundation possible for children to develop their innate abilities and a lifelong love of learning. This is an encore episode.
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Dear Parents: You Are Not Failing
In this encore episode, a mom is at her wit's end and describes a series of challenging family separations and transitions, including the birth of a sibling. Now one of her twins yells and screams from morning until night. The other twin is defiant and “is always telling me ‘no’ and doing things he knows he’s not supposed to be doing.” This mom says their behavior is so extreme she spends most of the day in tears, feeling like a failure, and then ends up yelling. She’s looking for Janet’s advice how she might deal with her twins’ behavior.
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Embrace the Privilege of Parenthood (With Neha Ruch)
Janet’s guest this week is Neha Ruch, a writer and speaker on parenting, women, work, and identity. Her personal journey from career through parenthood led her to question and ultimately reject society’s stereotypical view of the stay-at-home parent and its limitations, and instead celebrate the possibilities. Neha is the founder of Mother Untitled (.com), which seeks to reimagine parenthood as a pause or “downshift" and an opportunity to find our passions. Through Mother Untitled, Neha connects a growing community of like minded parents with resources geared to support and further their goals. Her new book, “The Power Pause: How to Plan a Career Break After Kids--and Come Back Stronger Than Ever” will be out in mid-January.
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5 Daily Discipline Reminders
Wouldn’t parenting be easier if our kids’ behavior was always stellar? Unfortunately, for most of us that isn't the case. It is during those difficult times especially, when our child is tired or hungry or angry (or their behavior just seems terrible and we're mystified as to what's gotten into them), that they need us to be their confident, empathic leader—a role that doesn't always come naturally. In this episode, Janet shares a shortlist of simple reminders for making setting limits with our kids feel more comfortable and organic. Because, as she says, we all deserve to feel successful!
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How to Calm Ourselves (With Mr. Chazz)
By now, we’ve all heard that Step One for effectively addressing our kids' behaviors and emotional storms is to first calm ourselves. Sounds simple, but as Janet has often shared, she believes this to be the biggest challenge we as parents face. Here's good news: Janet's guest this week is dynamic and passionate educator Mr. Chazz, and he has learned a self-calming process that he believes in 100%. Happily, he shares it in detail in this episode and who knows? It may very well come in handy this holiday season!
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When Our Kids Seem Troubled by Our Emotions and Moods
In this encore episode, a parent writes that she and her husband are concerned their toddler feels responsible for their emotions. This is a trait they both recognize from their own backgrounds. “He asks again and again, ‘Happy, mommy?’ as if he’s trying to help me be happy.” This mom says that if she admits to her toddler that, no, she is not entirely happy at the moment, he gives her hugs and cuddles and persists in asking if she's happy. While these parents want to foster their child’s empathy and sensitivity, they don’t want him taking on the burden of other people’s emotions. They’re hoping Janet has some advice to help manage this delicate balancing act.
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Erratic, Unreasonable Behavior
A mother reaches out to Janet because her 3-year old's behavior has recently become erratic and unpleasant, and she’s struggling to make sense of it. She writes that her boy is strong-willed, smart, kind, high energy and wonderful to be around. But lately he's quick to anger, throws things, screams NO to simple requests, is pushy with his younger sister and gets easily overwhelmed when disappointed. He even behaved wildly and disruptively in a weekly music class he normally enjoys. Janet offers some basic guidelines for responding that she believes can be applied to almost every kind of behavior concern parents face. She hopes you find this helpful!
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Less Stress, More Joy This Holiday Season (With Ashlee Eiland)
Does the holiday season really need to be so overwhelming? Janet admits she gets caught up in the bustle and excitement of holiday festivities. While her intention every year is to pare down to make more room for meaningful moments with her loved ones, she still finds herself shopping until the last minute for the perfect gift and wrapping into the wee hours of Christmas Day. Janet's more than ready to take off her Santa hat and find ways to do less and enjoy more but doesn't know exactly how to make it happen.
Happily, this week's guest is inspirational pastor and community leader Ashlee Eiland, who shares loads of wisdom and actionable suggestions for prioritizing joy and meaning in the holidays, for our kids and us.
Follow Ashlee on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/ashlee_eiland/
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My Life With Adult Kids
Does respectful parenting work? How does it look as our kids get older and more independent? Does our approach to relationship building change and if so, how? Will our early efforts pay off? In response to a listener's questions, Janet discusses the challenges, rewards, and surprises she's experiencing as her three babies have become adults. She shares on topics like boundaries, maintaining closeness, and how she's tried to support her kids through struggles.
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When Kids Don't Seem Motivated (to Potty, Crawl, or Create)
What do we do if we know our kids can practice a new skill, and yet they don't or won't? Three families reach out to Janet with concerns about their children's developmental progress. In one case, a 12-month-old doesn't seem interested in crawling, and the parent has been advised to try to make this happen. A second parent expresses her dismay ("I don't know how to undo what I've done!") that her 3-year-old will no longer draw. The child's refusal began when the parent innocently followed her child's request to draw pictures for her. A third parent says that her 3.5-year-old has been ready to use the potty since she was 2 but is "absolutely set on being in diapers forever." Just as with the other two parents, this mom is trying to trust her daughter's process, but her doubts keep seeping in, and she wonders if there's some action she should be taking.
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"Earlier Is Better" And Other Child Development Myths (with Rae Pica)
In this encore episode, early childhood education luminary Rae Pica joins Janet to share her expertise about how children really learn and to debunk some common parenting myths that can impede a child’s natural development. Rae has dedicated herself to the mission of developing and educating the whole child. She is the author of 20 books, a popular keynote speaker, and throughout her decades-long career has consulted with numerous diverse public and private groups as well as schools and health departments throughout the U.S.
Rae's website, contact information, and parenting resources are at https://www.raepica.com, and where you can sign up for her new program for parents "The Truth About Children".
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Kids Don't Need Intensive Parenting (and Neither do We!)
The US Surgeon General warns that parents today are feeling increasingly stressed and burnt out. Obviously, this is unhealthy for us and for our children. Several societal factors are thought to contribute to this issue. The good news is that one of them is in our power to control: Intensive Parenting. Sociologists describe intensive parenting (in a recent “New York Times” article) as "painstakingly and methodically cultivating children's talents, academics and futures through everyday interactions and activities." They note that parents are feeling more obligated to provide extracurricular activities for their kids than they did a decade ago and spend more time stimulating and actively playing with them. The jury's out as to whether these kids are benefiting from their parents' efforts, but they are undoubtedly feeling their parents' stress. Janet's view is that intensive parenting teaches kids they need intensive help. She believes that the key to being involved in the most positive manner in kids' lives is to better understand our role—where they need us to be leaders and when they need us to let go and trust them.
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Is Disrespect a Tantrum in Disguise?
A 7-year-old has been behaving rudely toward his parents by giving them "attitude" and resisting when they give him directions. He says rebellious things, reacts strongly to minor disappointments, and even gets physically aggressive. The mom writes: "I feel at a loss for how to correct this perceived defiance...We're at a new low for us. It's starting to feel like he's too old to be acting out this way." Janet offers her perspective and suggestions in this episode.
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What's Too Strict? What's Not Strict Enough?
Parenting is a tough job and, if you're like many of us, navigating effective discipline is the most challenging part of it. We need clarity! For this reason, many have appreciated Janet's recent episode: "Strict is Loving". You've also had questions—lots of questions—in regard to walking (what can seem to be) the fine line between too strict and too permissive. Janet addresses many of your questions in this episode, offering her perspective on issues with kids and peers, transitions, behavior during tantrums, intervening with pets, and more.
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Character Building Lessons You Want Your Kids to Learn
Progress not perfection… Be thankful for what you have… It's okay not to win… Embrace differences... Follow your own path... It's okay to cry... We all have life lessons that we hope to instill in our kids. Many of you shared yours with Janet on Facebook recently. What are the most effective ways to teach these lessons? As with all aspects of parenting, the answers may not be as clear and simple as we expect. Janet offers her perspective and advice in this episode.
Janet's Facebook discussion on life lessons is here: https://tinyurl.com/46j2bkjy
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Triggered Again: Understanding Our Reactions to Kids' Behaviors (With Elisabeth Corey)
Trauma survivor Elisabeth Corey returns to ‘Unruffled’ to share healing insights she's gained from her intense struggles as a parent of twins. The emotional reactions our kids stir up in us can take us by surprise. Worse, they can keep us feeling stuck repeating dynamics with our kids that seem to be driving us apart. We often know how we "should" respond but can't remain calm enough to do that in the moment! As Elisabeth explains, our reactions are often indicators of past hurts that need healing, and she inspires us to explore them with curiosity and self-compassion, showing us the way in this episode.
You can learn more about Elisabeth and access her resources at: BeatingTrauma.com.
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Strict Is Loving
Janet's "all feelings allowed" approach to parenting is sometimes misconstrued as permissive, passive, lax on boundaries. But as Janet clarifies in this episode, the exact opposite is true! She describes how acquiescing to our kids' whims and demands, giving them multiple chances to comply with our directions, or making it our job to console them when our rules disappoint can be a set-up for failure for our kids and us. She explains how respectful parenting is actually quite strict, and why, in her view, strict is much kinder and more loving than the alternative, builds better relationships, and encourages lifelong emotional resiliency in our kids.
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Am I Ruining My Child With Respectful Parenting? (A Parent Consultation)
A mom fears that her gentle, respectful approach to her toddler's feelings and behaviors is too permissive and isn't teaching her to treat others with kindness and respect. She says she’s been following Janet’s approach from the beginning, but when her daughter kicks and screams and generally melts down, she can't help but question if simply acting calm and acknowledging her feelings is the right attitude. "... This isn't getting better, it's getting worse, and I feel like maybe I'm going down the wrong path or there's something I'm doing wrong." Janet encourages this parent to be more assertive with her own personal boundaries and clarifies what she means when she recommends accepting and acknowledging feelings.
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Everything Upsets My Spirited Toddler (A Parent Consultation)
Janet consults with a single mom who is alarmed by her toddler's strong reactions and aggressive behavior. She seems easily and almost constantly upset—hits, pushes, and bites her mother and brother—and won't be consoled. "When she is crying for a little while because of me taking something away, I console her and say, 'I know you didn't want me to take that away. I'm so sorry I had to, it was not safe.' I will pick her up and rub her back and she will slap me." Naturally, this mom wonders where such intense, angry reactions from her daughter could be coming from and how to effectively respond.
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3 Ways to Calm Back-to-School Jitters
Starting a new school, going back to school, or starting daycare is one of the most challenging transitions for our kids —and us—at this early stage of their lives. It means a new routine, new caregivers and friends, and many unknowns. It’s normal for both parent and child to feel some trepidation, and it’s rare that our child will accept all the changes willingly or gracefully. Usually, we can expect some strong expression of feeling in the home either before, during, or after the transition—short fuses, prickliness, whining, crying, tantrums—and these feelings may linger for many months. For our part, as parents, it’s difficult not to feel guilty and question our decisions when our child seems so unsettled. Janet has three suggestions that can make this important time in our lives easier for all of us.
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Baffled by "Bad" Behavior? Do This First
When our kids' behavior seems negative or inappropriate, we know we should disallow it. But what if the behavior continues? Or goes from bad to worse? What is our child needing from us or telling us that we're missing? There's often a simple, yet easy to overlook, answer. In this episode, Janet responds to notes from parents who have become alarmed by their kids' recent behavior. One child seems hooked on playing that he's a "bad guy" and becomes physically aggressive. Another tells his parents he wants to hurt them. A third is sneaking food and even medicine. These parents are unerringly patient and empathetic, but nothing seems to work. One parent writes: “It's been getting more intense over the past several months, and I really want it to stop, but I don't know how. Am I doing something wrong?” Janet has an idea for what they may be missing, and she explains how it applies in each of these families' situation.
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Help Kids Realize Their Potential With the Power of Less (With Kim John Payne)
When we're concerned about our kids' behavior, their stress and difficult moods, a lack of motivation, or an overall sense that we're not in harmony with them — the solution almost certainly comes down to "less." In this episode, Janet is joined by Kim John Payne, M.ED., renowned family consultant, lecturer, and author of the seminal parenting guide “Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids.” The book has been aptly described as “a manifesto for protecting the grace of childhood,” and there is much of Kim’s science-backed approach which supports and complements Janet’s. In their view, our fast-paced, competitive culture (“too much, too soon”) takes the joy out of parenting and can overwhelm our children, causing anxiety, insecurity, and many common behavioral problems. Kim and Janet discuss how the power of less can create the family life we always imagined and allow children to thrive.
Kim John Payne's resources are at: SimplicityParenting.com/
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The Scoop on Independent Play (And Myths That Get in the Way)
Children are innately driven to play, and the benefits are enormous. They're also driven to seek our attention and connection, so how can we encourage our kids' play without becoming their constant playmate? In this episode Janet dispels seven common misunderstandings that make the lifelong habit (and gift) of self-directed play much more challenging to foster. She suggests helpful alternatives that not only encourage play, but also bolster self-esteem and strengthen parent-child bonds.
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Surviving a Storm of Emotions
Our child’s uncomfortable feelings can manifest in many ways, the most obvious being tantrums, meltdowns, or long lasting monsoonal crying jags. Often, those feelings are expressed in behaviors, sometimes aggressive. The two emails Janet addresses in this episode come from parents whose kids’ rocky moods and behaviors are persistent, no matter how much patience, love, and affection are offered. One parent writes: “Sometimes his feelings are too much for us. It's hard when the entire day is ruined because you said no to a cookie at 7:00 AM.” Another mom says her 4-year-old has started spitting, biting, and hitting in pre-school. He’s recently acquired a baby brother, which explains a lot, but she says, “it would be easier if he was screaming and crying and having a meltdown. I can handle that, but when it comes out in a way that hurts others, I struggle.” Janet has several suggestions for these parents both in the way they are responding to their kids and in their perceptions of their respective storms.
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Potty Learning: What Kids Need From Us
Potty training is always an adventure, and it can be a confusing, sometimes frustrating experience. There are countless books on the subject, and there's plenty of advice from both experts and well-meaning friends and family. Since every child’s process is unique to them and depends on so many internal and external influences, it’s difficult to find a one-size-fits-all approach. In this episode, Janet responds to several questions from parents whose kids are having difficulties using the toilet. The parents describe pitfalls they're encountering and various strategies they’ve tried, but to no avail. Janet offers her pov on the subject and explains how her approach can accomplish more than basic potty learning – it can also relieve the associated pressures both parent and child experience, with the bonus of giving the child a sense of autonomy, accomplishment, and confidence.
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Angry Flare-Ups - And He’s Only One Year Old (A Parent Consultation)
A parent consults with Janet about her one-year-old who screams, cries, "loses it anytime he’s picked up and moved to do something else or is told he can’t go somewhere.” She's concerned that it's too early for this type of behavior, wonders how to respond and if she’s doing something wrong. Janet shares her perspective and offers specific advice for handling his resistance to diaper changes, separation, and more.
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Raising Creative, Critical Thinkers in a Commercialized World (with Susan Linn)
In this encore episode Janet's guest is psychologist, writer, researcher, and Harvard lecturer Susan Linn. For decades, Susan has been a passionate advocate for our children and a steadfast fighter against the infiltration of Big Business and Big Tech into kids' lives (and parents' pocketbooks). In an eye-opening discussion, Susan describes how digital culture is designed to indoctrinate children into consumerism and brand loyalty, and how it's geared to create dependencies on games and devices for stimulation and soothing. She explains how games and devices teach values that are often diametrically opposed to our own, how they can affect learning by shrinking our children’s world and even interfere with parent-child relationships. Ultimately, Susan and Janet focus on the positive actions we can take to lessen the impact of manipulative marketers while realistically acknowledging the role of digitized culture in all of our lives.
More to learn in this episode:
- How to choose the most beneficial toys and programs for our kids
- How advertisers capture children's attention and encourage them to nag us for more, more, more
- Why combatting commercialized culture isn't only a family issue, but a societal one
- What Alexa offers to "bored" children
- Computer games are less "active" for kids than we might believe
For more on Susan, her work, and her books, visit: www.https://www.consumingkids.com/
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
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Family Games Your Kids Will Love
Does your family have any extra downtime this summer? This may be the perfect time to introduce your kids to some simple, giggle-inducing, creative games to play anytime and almost anywhere. I have ideas for you! These are games my kids begged me to play over and over again that would never fail to crack me up too, and even became family lore. Some of these you've definitely heard of, others my kids and I invented. None are about winning, losing, screens, or making any sort of product, just learning (without realizing it) and lots of FUN.
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Whining
A whining child can show relentless persistence and stamina, can wear away at our will to hold our ground, maintain boundaries, and our temper. We may lose confidence and second guess ourselves: Am I doing something wrong? Am I being too rigid? Maybe I can put off my shower for an hour and play blocks. Why not ice cream for breakfast? Anything to stop the whining. Janet answers questions from some whine-weary parents, explains the why behind the whine, and how we can help our children (and ourselves!).
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How to Make Peace With Your Demanding Child
A parent worries her 3-year-old needs more connection, but the attention that she and her partner give him never seems to be enough, even when they make themselves available for play. He demands they play a certain way, sometimes refuses to participate, throws his toys and has tantrums when they try to hold their ground. "The play ends up becoming him just wanting to watch us play and he stops engaging," the mom says. "Any advice you can give on how to navigate these reactions from him when we can't or won't play would be much appreciated because I find for the most part I just freeze and can't think of anything to say."
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Parenting Differently Wired Kids (with Debbie Reber)
Tilt Parenting founder Debbie Reber joins Janet to discuss the unique challenges families face as they learn to understand and support a child with ADHD, autism, learning disabilities, giftedness, processing challenges, twice-exceptionality, or other neurodifferences. While Debbie's advice is especially powerful for parents of neurodivergent kids, her insights will resonate with every parent. As she says, “None of us are parenting the kid that we expected.” Later in this episode, Debbie responds to a note from a parent who is concerned about her son yelling "Stop!" when adults ask him seemingly benign questions. The parent wants to help him be more comfortable in the world but doesn’t know how.
Debbie's resources are available at: TiltParenting.com
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Raising Kids Who Persist Through Struggles
We all want our kids to proceed through life with confidence as they develop physically, mentally, and emotionally. Because we care so much, it can be difficult for us to watch them struggle when faced with a challenge or a new skill. It's especially tough to see them becoming so frustrated that they give up or refuse to even try in the first place, even when we've done all we can to encourage them.
In this episode, Janet shares a helpful reframe and actionable guidelines for fostering our kids' healthy persistence, and then responds to some specific situations parents recently shared with her: a child getting too frustrated when attempting anything challenging; a 3-year-old who refuses to draw and insists her parent do it for her; and a 5-year-old who falls apart if he loses a game.
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Frustration, Screaming, Aggressive Behavior – When Kids Aren’t Functioning Well
Our kids' behavior can mystifying, aggravating, worrying, and sometimes even infuriating. While the answers for resolving our concerns tend to be specific and unique to each particular situation, there are also general themes that can guide us. Janet explores one such theme in this week's episode and explains how it applies to 3 different situations parents have written to her about.
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7 Tools to Empower Your Parenting
We all experience difficult moments with our kids, and it’s not uncommon for us to lose confidence in ourselves or feel stuck. Need a parenting boost? In this special episode, Janet shares 7 of her go-to parenting power tools, mindsets, and mantras geared to help you focus your energies most effectively and (if needed) make positive, lasting changes in your approach.
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Feeling Unloved, Rejected, Worried About Your Relationship with Your Child? Try This...
Janet shares a success story from a parent who describes her shame, heartbreak, "the heavy emotional load" she carried for the first 4 years of her son's life as he vehemently rejected her care, preferring his father. After reading one of Janet's articles, this mom began to see her son's behavior in a whole new light and improve her situation almost immediately. "I am now confident that whatever happens—whatever my son will throw at me (even when he hits puberty)—I can handle it."
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Parenting Expectations Have Changed - Kids Haven't (with Maggie Dent)
If you're the parent of young children, there's a good chance you are very hard on yourself. Australian parenting guru Maggie Dent joins Janet in this episode of “Unruffled” to discuss the unprecedented pressures and challenges today's parents face living up to ever-changing standards set by social media, peers, and even schools. Parents are often left feeling overwhelmed and unsupported. Maggie and Janet share their long view perspectives, experiences, advice, and hope.
Maggie shares her extensive resources at: MaggieDent.com.
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My Child Refuses Independent Play
With our most loving intentions as parents, we might find ourselves stuck in a full-time role we never wanted—as our child's playmate and entertainer. In this episode, a mom asks Janet for advice regarding her "bright, busy, extroverted four-year-old girl who loves having my complete attention.” Unfortunately, this parent is feeling she really needs some time to herself, but when she tries to take a break, her daughter is unwilling to let her go and seems anxious and insecure, as if this is a personal rejection.
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As Our Kids Get Older - 5 Ways to Continue Building Lasting Emotional Bonds
What does respectful parenting look like as our kids get older? Where can we get advice similar to Janet's but for older kids? Janet receives these kinds of questions often and takes the opportunity to answer them in this episode.
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The Magic That Makes Kids Want to Cooperate
As parents, we all experience moments when our kids just won’t go with the program – brushing their teeth, dressing for school, cleaning up their toys, going to bed (and staying there). We ask nicely, and they ignore us. Then we ask not so nicely, and they dig their heals in. Before long we’re frustration turns to exasperation, and we either get angry or throw up our hands in surrender. At a certain age, our kids are developmentally programmed to resist us no matter how much kindness and respect we show them. So, what’s a parent to do? Sometimes we wish we could just wave a magic wand. Well, the wands are on back-order, but Janet shares some magical recommendations that will make these interaction so much easier to navigate, win or lose.
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Losing It - Understanding What Makes Us Snap (Encore with Elisabeth Corey)
Janet is joined by trauma recovery expert Elisabeth Corey to answer a parent’s email about her struggles to become a respectful parent. This mom says certain behaviors of her 2.5-year old daughter set her off. “I don’t stay calm, focused, kind to my child.” And she believes her own upbringing (“in no way respectful”) is the root cause of her reactions. She is overwhelmed by the responsibility of raising her child and wants to know: “What can I do to help myself?” Janet and Elisabeth consider the common underlying issues of our own childhoods and how we can recognize and heal negative cycles to become better parents.
Elisabeth's work and free resources for parents are available on her site at: www.BeatingTrauma.com
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are available at Amazon. Also, her exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
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Dr. Gabor Maté on Why Parents Matter More Than Ever
Physician and author Gabor Maté joins Janet to discuss the importance of developing secure attachments with our kids and why it's crucial for us to continue nurturing these bonds into their adulthood. How do we remain our children's most trusted influences while also encouraging their natural drive toward individuation? Can we maintain our role as a primary attachment figure when our child is cared for by others? How do we help kids to develop healthy relationships with peers? What's the best way to handle exposure to digital media? Gabor addresses these questions among many others and offers suggestions for maintaining positive attachments throughout our kids’ lives.
Gabor is the author of 5 books and most recently the re-issued Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers, co-authored with Gordon Neufeld, with a new chapter about how the Covid pandemic affected kids' relationships with peers and parents.
Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.
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When Kids Hide Their Feelings and Reject Our Comfort
We're trying to be there for our kids, let them know we care, and give them positive, healthy messages about their feelings. What could possibly go wrong? In this episode, Janet responds to a parent who worries that when she tries to comfort her upset 3-year-old daughter, the child seems ashamed about her feelings, even angry, and yells at the parent to go away. The parent asks, "Do you have any advice for helping her to be more comfortable with feeling sad or angry?"
Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.
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Praise That Encourages Intrinsic Motivation
We can be our kids' greatest fans, and they need us to be. How do we praise them in a manner that truly encourages them? We may have heard that "good job!" or "you're so smart!" aren't the ticket. In this episode, Janet shares her specific suggestions and a simple way we can find clarity on what can be a confusing topic.
Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.
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Should We Resort to Using Force?
Janet consults with a couple who feel at odds with their 4-year-old at bedtime. "She stalls, refuses or delays putting on her pajamas, brushing her teeth, getting in bed, and staying in bed." She's also uncooperative in the mornings. The parents have conflicting ideas about how they should handle her behavior and hope Janet can offer some guidance.
Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.
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Tantrums, Meltdowns, and Other Intense Outbursts: My #1 Secret for Staying Calm
How do we stay unruffled when our children are anything but? It's never easy, but in this episode Janet shares the personal mindset that has helped her most, and gets SO much easier with practice. She also shares a success story from a parent who is walking through her own fears to be the parent her daughter needs.
Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.
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We Don't Like Upsetting Our Kids
Do you sometimes say "yes" to avoid your child's negative reaction? You're definitely not alone! None of us wants to upset our kids, and when faced with that option, we tend to second guess our boundaries: Should I keep playing this game even though I’m busy, tired, or not in the mood? This week, Janet explores the reasons we doubt ourselves, particularly when it comes to personal boundaries, how to overcome our hesitancy, and why our kids really need us to.
Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.
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Toddlers That Won't Go to Bed (Solutions from Eileen Henry)
Eileen Henry is a pioneering sleep consultant who for decades has helped exhausted, concerned parents guide their infants and toddlers to more restorative sleep. As Janet's guest this week, Eileen shares her wisdom and detailed suggestions in response to emails from Unruffled listeners struggling mightily with their toddlers at bedtime. A one-year-old seems to get increasingly wound up as bedtime nears, escalating to biting her mother. A 23-month-old refuses to nap. An almost 3-year-old won't separate from her parent at any time of day, calls "mommy, mommy" whenever her parent leaves her side, making bedtime impossible. Eileen offers her experienced perspective, warm support, and actionable advice. “Sleep is not a problem to be fixed,” she believes. “It is a skill to be learned.”
More about Eileen and her resources at: CompassionateSleepSolutions.com, or visit her on Facebook at: Facebook.com/compassionatesleepsolutions
Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.
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Raising Mentally Healthy Kids Means Letting Them Grieve
Most of us wouldn't consider it part of our job to allow the small children in our care to grieve. And yet, our lives are filled with losses—some are significant, most are minor. The way we process feelings of loss can have profound, lasting effects on our mental health and overall quality of life. In this episode, Janet shares how we can encourage our children to experience and express loss in the healthiest manner from the very beginning, starting with the first type of loss our babies experience: momentary separation from a loved one. Our response can provide them the messages and experience they need to learn to deal with loss capably and, most important of all, know loss is survivable.
Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books "No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame" and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, and Google Play
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Coping with Your Child's Possessiveness
"Mine! No, he can't touch that!" Does this sound familiar? No worries. In their early years, children commonly go through phases of possessiveness that can seem totally unreasonable and extreme. They may want everything their sibling or peer shows interest in and try to take it. They refuse to share.
In this episode, Janet explains why this behavior actually makes sense and what we can do to help kids pass through these phases readily and in a healthy manner. She illustrates by addressing a question from a parent about his 5-year old’s incessant impulse to protect his territory and possessions from his baby brother. While he and his wife try to maintain an understanding, respectful approach to the behavior by acknowledging his feelings and his space, they're perplexed by their son's demands which seem unreasonable and often nonsensical. Worse, he can act aggressively toward his sibling, which is alarming. Janet offers specific advice and verbal examples for handling “mine” and other controlling behavior between siblings and peers.
Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.
Her best-selling books No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame and Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, and Google Play.
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How an Angry Mom, Hating Parenting, Found "Immediate Success"
A parent writes that with her firstborn, she had listened to Janet’s advice and used many of her parenting methods with great success. To her surprise and relief, motherhood was relatively easy, and “I had friends comment how amazing I was as a mother.” After the births of her second and third child, however, things deteriorated. Tantrums, fighting, screaming, hitting, throwing, and all the typical toddler behavior. Gradually, she found herself yelling, threatening, using time-outs, and even spanking. She says she felt terrible and hated her life. As a veteran with 4 deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan, she says ironically, “That life was easy. Being a mom is hard.” Recently, however, she remembered “Unruffled” and the experience she had with her firstborn. She started devouring episodes and says that it all started coming back to her. Her letter describes how she adopted a new perspective and applied Janet’s methods and advice immediately—with miraculous results. “It has been an amazing shift in the household ever since I have adopted this approach… so many more hugs and them telling me they love me.” Janet uses this parent’s hopeful letter to illustrate how small alterations to our interactions, and especially our perspective, can transform our relationship with our kids and bring the joy we deserve to the parenting experience.
Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.
Her best-selling books No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame and Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, and Google Play.
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Every Child, Even a Tiny Baby, Deserves Time On Their Own (with Hari Grebler)
Do all human beings, even our babies, need time to themselves—freedom to make choices, initiate activities, think their own thoughts? In this episode, Janet and her special guest Hari Grebler say "yes" and explain why. Hari, a Magda Gerber protégé, was Janet's first parenting teacher. Thirty years later, Hari continues to introduce parents in her parent-infant classes to a new perspective—inspiring them to trust and become more attuned to their babies and to develop safe play spaces for them to freely explore at home. Hari and Janet discuss how this works and why it matters—not only for our children's healthy development (and even their sleep!) but for our mental health. Hari also addresses some of the common misunderstandings that can get in our way.
More from and about Hari on her website HarisRIEStudio.com, and her Instagram page HarisRIEStudio.
Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.
Her best-selling books No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame and Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, and Google Play.
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Resisting, Stalling, Dilly-Dallying
Kids can wear down our patience when they seem to resist or stall us with everything we need them to do—even when we're only asking them to move through the predictable routines in their day like getting out of bed, going to or leaving school, brushing their teeth, and so on. The constant pushback and struggle make it feel impossible to stay unruffled.
In this episode, Janet shares an easy-to-remember, viable alternative to the strategies, games, scripts, threats, patient waiting, or coaxing we may have unsuccessfully tried in the past (while also explaining why those responses don't tend to be sustainable). She offers examples through two letters. One parent, who resorts to eventually picking up her toddlers when they resist, shares: "My 3-year-old is getting much heavier, stronger, and faster, so the moments of resistance are becoming more difficult to overcome without struggle, and I don't know what I will do in a year or two when he becomes even faster and stronger." Another parent asks: "Is this level of dilly-dallying normal? If so, how should we deal with that? If the gentle ways don't work, threats don't work (or even make things worse in the long run), what else can we do?"
Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.
Her best-selling books No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame and Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, and Google Play.
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A Secret to Helping Our Kids Achieve (Advice for the New Year)
As parents, we are prone to worry, and a common concern is that our kids don't seem motivated enough. Perhaps they aren't mastering certain skills as quickly as we think they should or could—physically, cognitively, creatively, or socially. They might seem disinterested in doing things that we feel certain they're capable of, even when we've gently encouraged them. Naturally, this confuses us. We wonder what we can do to help. In this premiere episode for 2024, Janet offers a counterintuitive suggestion for what we might be missing and how our good intentions can backfire.
Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, and Google Play.
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My Daughters Weigh In on Respectful Parenting (Encore)
In this encore episode, Janet’s daughters Charlotte and Madeline share candid memories from their childhoods and consider how Janet's respectful parenting style influenced their lives as toddlers, teens, and young adults. Using questions submitted to Janet's Facebook page as their guide, the sisters discuss intrinsic motivation, emotional health, independent play, sibling relationships, screen time and more.
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7 Daily Reminders for Parents (Encore)
Inspired by a listener's request and just in time to make a new start in the New Year, Unruffled revisits Janet's list of daily reminders for helping parents face the challenges of their day with more clarity, calm, and confidence.
For a deep and complete understanding of ALL these points and much, much more, check out Janet's No Bad Kids Course—an awesome gift for the holidays. Janet's bestselling books No Bad Kids and Elevating Child Care make such helpful, thoughtful stocking stuffers! Happy Holidays!
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Making Magical Holiday Memories
No matter how we spend our holidays, we all hope to make the most of them. In this first-ever holiday episode of Unruffled, Janet offers ideas for encouraging even our youngest children to feel a part of the festivities, and perhaps be the ones to create family traditions. Janet's suggestions include thoughts on gift giving, how to frame the story of Santa Claus without "lying," and what we can do to help our little ones manage the changes in routine and overstimulation.
Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, and Google Play.
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Angry Outbursts, Screaming, and Hurtful Words
Two discouraged, desperate families write to Janet for help with 4.5-year-olds who seem perpetually angry. These children are lashing out verbally, screaming and shouting at their parents and siblings, and seem particularly explosive at the end of the day. One parent writes that her child "seems like she is very intentionally trying to be hurtful," and adds, "It doesn't seem like she should be able to get away with treating us and her sister this way." The second family writes that when picking their daughter up from school "and the tiniest thing is not right, the screaming and shouting begins. Everything is catastrophic." Janet recommends specific adjustments these parents can make in the way they are perceiving their children's behaviors that she believes will bring relief.
Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.
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My Toddler Won't Separate or Warm Up to Anyone Else
While it's flattering to be a toddler's chosen one, being prized can become a drain when our child's dependency gets out of hand. In this episode, a mom writes to Janet for help with her 2.5-year-old daughter, who she says has always had separation anxiety and continues to need the mom's constant presence to feel comfortable and happy. Whenever this parent tries to separate, even when it's only to the next room, her toddler cries. "She is never soothed or comforted by other family members (even her dad) and will only accept comforting from me." Janet offers a small adjustment this parent might make in her response and explains how this can help her toddler or a child of any age, even a baby, feel more trusting and comfortable when separating and in the company of others.
Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.
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Stop Making Mealtime a Challenge
A parent of a 27-month-old writes that her son refuses to come to the table when called and will not sit in his chair during meals. This parent says they’ve tried just removing his food when he isn't cooperating, but then “he ends up hangry… and it’s so difficult to get anything done.” So, they’ve resorted to feeding him through distractions and by following him around with food at home, in the park, and in his Yes Space while he’s playing. Eventually, he finishes a meal. Janet offers this family a shift in perspective and mealtime guidelines that not only encourage healthy eating but eliminate stress for us and our kids.
Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.
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When Parents Don't See Eye to Eye (with Melina Gac Levin)
We all bring different perspectives to parenting that are borne of our upbringing, culture, or religion. Sometimes, we find these perspectives clash over basic parenting issues like sleep, healthy eating, crying, behavior, to name a few. Janet’s guest this week is Melina Gac Levin, a mother, parenting educator, and founder of Pueblo (parentpueblo.com), an educational and consulting organization that focuses on providing evidence-based advice for helping couples weave their various perspectives together. Through self-reflection, collaboration, and sometimes compromise, there's hope for all of us to find common ground.
Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.
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Our Strong-Willed Child Is Running the Show
A parent emails Janet with the subject line: Help! Strong Willed Child. She feels frustrated, exhausted, and completely overwhelmed by her 7-year-old's unmanageable behavior that's been continuous since he was about 3.5. She and her partner have made repeated attempts to stop his rudeness (and a host of other behaviors he knows are unacceptable), to get him to follow directions, shower, dress, and even eat. Janet encourages these parents to consider the why—why is their child acting this way? And why does his behavior cause them to react as they do? Janet explains how reflecting on those questions can bring clarity and help these parents shift the dynamic with their child in a positive direction.
Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.
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Consequences vs Threats vs Punishments
From Janet's inbox: A parent wonders if reminding her 3-year-old of negative consequences to his uncooperative behavior is the same as using threats or manipulation. She writes that her goal is not only to help him move through transitions with less pushback, but to learn the concept of time, how to manage it, and to feel empowered to make choices and achieve his desires. Janet offers her thoughts on the differences between threats, consequences, and punishments, and suggests minor adjustments this family can make to better enable their goals.
Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.
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Caring for Our Children and Ourselves in Tragic Times
Janet shares words of support.
Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.
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When Our Kids Are Scared
How can we help our kids overcome their fears? Most of us have the instinct to provide comfort with messages like "don't worry, you're safe, it will be alright." In this episode, Janet explains why our children often need more than our reassurance, even when their fears seem unreasonable or overblown. The key: validating and encouraging each child's intuitive process. Janet provides details by responding to notes from three families who have concerns about their children's seemingly irrational fears.
Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.
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Encouraging Kids To Be More Assertive
Most of us hope that as our children venture out into the world, they'll possess enough innate assertiveness to set boundaries and navigate the common struggles of childhood like toy taking, unwanted roughhousing, unkind words, bullying. When our kids don’t stand up for themselves, it’s easy to assume that their lack of assertiveness is derived from a lack of self-confidence. Janet doesn’t believe that’s necessarily true and responds to two emails from listeners who are concerned about their children’s seeming inability to assert themselves in social situations. One parent describes her son being bullied on the school bus. Another says her daughter’s friend is clingy, bossy, and controlling, and this parent doesn’t believe her child has the self-confidence to set a boundary. Janet addresses each situation and offers advice for how the parents can help in the most effective manner.
Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.
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How to be Strong Enough to Make the Really Big Changes
Our young kids are adaptable, so it's always possible for us to change routines, rules, and behavior patterns that we decide are no longer beneficial for us or them. Problem is, our kids are bound to object— loudly, vociferously, perhaps relentlessly—when these changes aren't their idea (which they seldom are). Our new plan may be met with whining, crying, screaming, even tantrums. And since we've played a central role in allowing our family's habits to take root, it’s natural to feel uncertain or even guilty for introducing new boundaries. As an insightful parent concerned about her children's excessive TV use writes: “Though I fully believe that changing our strategies and habits will improve our lives and relationships, taking these steps is so hard that I find myself just doing the usual thing and beating myself up about it instead of doing anything different.” Another parent writes that she feels trapped by her toddler's refusal to play without her presence, but she's afraid to make changes because she's uncomfortable with upsetting him: “I feel I’m stumbling and, in the process, feel myself losing the joy of parenting.” Janet offers ideas for helping parents find the perspective and strength they need to make changes for the better.
Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.
Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.
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Struggles with Independent Play
Self-directed play is a gift that keeps giving with profound benefits for every aspect of our children's development. As an added bonus, nurturing our child's ability to self-entertain affords us the occasional much-deserved break. So, cultivating independent play and establishing it as a habit is well worth the effort. Unfortunately, no matter how early we start noticing, valuing, and then encouraging our children's inner-directed play choices, there can be setbacks along the way. In this episode, Janet responds to emails from parents who describe their own setbacks. One parent shares how her 14-month-old flits from toy to toy, then suddenly announces she's "done!" and cries until the parent removes her from the play area. She's also begun demanding to be “done” with car rides and walks in the stroller. Another parent shares that her 8-month-old, who previously reveled in his play time and entertained himself for long periods, has lately become angry whenever there's a gate between them, even when she's doing chores right next to him on the other side. Janet shares insights for encouraging self-directed play and suggests ways these parents might help their kids get over their respective humps.
Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.
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Mean Words, Aggressive Behavior, Stalling, and Other Signs Kids Need Our Help
Janet responds to several messages from parents who feel stumped as to how to respond effectively to their children's behaviors. A 4-year-old has been lashing out at his mom and schoolmates. A kindergartner calls her brother "stupid.” Another kindergartner can't pull herself together to get to school on time without her mother doing 95% of the work. Janet offers general guidelines for responding to unsettled children and, more specifically, how her suggestions can be applied to easing the behavior issues in each of these scenarios.
Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.
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Meltdowns That Keep Happening, Even When We're Doing Everything Right
A parent writes that she's feeling helpless and desperate about her 3-year-old's frequent, intense meltdowns, which sometimes last up to an hour. This mom says they usually "relate to control and power struggles where he tells me or my husband to do something." And although she remains calm, responds with empathetic words, assures him that it's okay to be mad, offers hugs, and tries to acknowledge his feelings, nothing seems to help. Often her responses seem to make him angrier. Understandably, she eventually loses her patience. "I will likely end up screaming at him because I literally can’t handle his screaming at me any longer, and then I feel the weight of the guilt for yelling at him..." Janet offers a slight shift in the parents' perspective and subtle adjustments they can make to their approach that she believes will help their spirited son move through his emotional flare-ups more easily.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.
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Raising Motivated, Self-Confident, Less Stressed Kids in an Age of Anxiety (with Dr. William Stixrud)
Janet’s guest is Dr. William Stixrud, a clinical neuropsychologist and co-author of The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives. Bill Stixrud's decades of experience counseling children and their parents have led to conclusions that complement and support Janet's own parenting philosophy, especially topics such as encouraging self-confidence, intrinsic motivation, and inner-directedness. And since many of Bill's clients have been with him from childhood through adolescence and into adulthood, he has the benefit of seeing the results of his practice. Bill and Janet discuss the value of giving our kids opportunities to make choices, discover and pursue their passions, and the challenges and benefits of being a nonanxious presence (because our "calm is contagious").
Dr. Stixrud is the founder of The Stixrud Group, a member of the teaching faculty at Children’s National Medical Center, and an assistant professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the George Washington University School of Medicine.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.
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How to Connect with Your Upset Child, Even When There's More Than One
Janet responds to a parent with a toddler and four-year-old who struggles to connect with her kids individually, and neither reacts well when the other is getting mom’s attention. For instance, she says when she tries to give her older son some lap time, “my 18-month-old clearly gets jealous and starts squealing, attempting to climb on me, hitting his brother.” She’s wondering if it’s possible to really connect with either child when both are upset.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.
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Problems with Punishments (Described by a Parent Who Used Them) with Michelle Kenney
As a teacher, Michelle Kenney used punishments and rewards to motivate and manage children's behavior in her classroom. Then she became a mom. When her second daughter was born, her first child began exhibiting the typical behavior of an older, displaced child. She talked back, threw tantrums, and at one point became dangerously rough with her little sister. Frustrated and worried, Michelle’s instinct was to discipline her daughter with yelling and punishments, but she soon found that this approach was having the opposite effect and only driving a wedge between them. Introduced by chance to a gentle parenting coach, Michelle was eventually able to see her daughter’s behavior through a more empathetic lens. That changed everything. “It’s such a beautiful thing,” she says, “Having these good, connected relationships… I know they feel safe, and I never felt that way when I was growing up.” Michelle is now a parent coach and shares her experience, inspiration, and knowledge in her new book Unpunished.
Michelle's contact information and parenting resources are available at peaceandparentingla.com.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.
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Teaching Kids About Personal Space
Toddlers and preschoolers are driven to learn everything about their world, and they are particularly intrigued by the people in it: peers, family members, kids, grown-ups, and most of all their parents. A key aspect of their socialization is learning about personal boundaries, understanding how to assert theirs and respect those of others. They need our help with that. In her response to a parent's question about her 2.5 year old hitting children who invade his space, Janet explains how we teach these invaluable lessons and why they matter.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.
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Fears Around Starting School
A parent writes that her 5-year-old is afraid to start kindergarten. Though she’s sympathetic that this is a big transition for her son, as he’s never been cared for by anyone but his grandparents or a cousin, she’s recovering from breast cancer and also has a two-year-old, so she needs this to work. While she and her husband both try to validate his feelings and talk about the fun parts of school, he ends up whining and breaking down, saying he isn’t going to like it and doesn’t want to go. She’s struggling and admits, “I have no words and don’t know the right thing to do or say.”
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.
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Parent Traps
Kids seem to have a sixth sense when it comes to detecting our vulnerabilities as parents. And as adept learners and explorers, they can't help but keep pressing the buttons they discover in us. It can be easy for us to get stuck in an uncomfortable, unproductive cycle.
Janet shares two recent interactions she's had with friends who are concerned about disconcerting new tendencies they've noticed in their children. One parent says her daughter is portraying herself as a constant victim, blaming others for every mishap, even for her own errors and misdeeds. Another writes that when her son is in tantrum mode, she gently stops him from hitting and kicking, but afterwards, he complains that she is “pushing him.” He remains angry and shouts, “I don’t love you!”
Janet identifies the common thread that could be causing these parents to doubt themselves and describes several additional examples parents have shared with her that fit this pattern. She offers suggestions for understanding and approaching these situations in a manner that ultimately curtails them.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.
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Healing Our Perfectionism (with Emma Nadler)
Emma Nadler is a psychotherapist, author, and parent whose life was changed forever when doctors informed her that her second child, Eden, had a rare genetic condition. As she became familiar with the complexities of her daughter’s diagnosis, Emma had to confront her preconceptions of motherhood, self-judgment, and especially her tendency toward perfectionism. In her conversation with Janet, she describes her complex journey through grief, joy, and loneliness as she navigates her unexpected life. Throughout, she shares a powerful message of acceptance when life doesn’t go as planned.
Emma's memoir "The Unlikely Village of Eden" is available wherever books are sold, including Amazon.
Please note: Listening to this episode in no way creates a client/therapist relationship with Emma Nadler. This is educational in nature. No legal, counseling, or other professional services are being rendered and nothing is intended to provide such services or advice of any kind. If you are having a mental health emergency, please contact 911 or go to your nearest emergency room. You can also text or call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (in the United States).
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.
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What Science Says About Respectful Parenting (with Anya Dunham, PhD)
When scientist Anya Dunham was expecting her first baby, she decided to take a deep dive into the science behind various parenting techniques and philosophies. She was particularly drawn to the ideas Janet shares from the work of Magda Gerber and Emmi Pikler, because they complemented her own intuition. Anya joins Janet to discuss her research, how it supports the tenets of respectful parenting, and how parents can trust both science and their own intuition in the parenting experience.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.
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Our Child Won't Listen
The parent of a 4-year-old says he and his partner “have done the best we can to follow the principles of positive parenting,” but their boy has been refusing to follow instructions and often seems to ignore them entirely. His behavior is unsafe around their toddler and newborn, so this couple is struggling to remain calm and respectful. Janet offers them some insights and strategies to connect with their son and hopefully bring some peace to the household.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.
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When Our Kids Reject Us (A Step-By-Step Response)
A single mom writes that her spirited five-year-old “has found a new voice and physicality” lately, calling her names, hitting, and taunting her “to try to get a rise." This mom attempts to remain unruffled and contain her anger and sadness during these episodes, but she's wondering if her controlled response is making matters worse. Janet offers six steps for responding to her son in a more connected manner that she hopes will alleviate the behavior. She then applies these same steps to two other situations where parents describe how their kids are rejecting their efforts to engage and saying hurtful things: One whose toddler daughter is grieving the recent loss of her grandmother; another whose 6-year-old daughter reacts to her mother’s corrections with self-loathing statements like "I"m stupid, I don't want you to love me, I'm just the worst."
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.
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How To Help a Frustrated Child
It’s common for young children to get frustrated as they're practicing and mastering new skills. As loving parents, it can be challenging to resist our urge to quell these feelings. We might try to talk our kids out of their frustration, or even complete the task ourselves. In this episode of Unruffled, Janet advises a mom who writes that her otherwise capable, confident two-year-old is easily frustrated. How can she respond in a manner that helps him develop more patience?
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.
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Mental Health Starts in Infancy (with Dr. Angela Fisher-Solomon)
“I think families and particularly parents shy away from the term infant mental health. They think, Oh my goodness, does that mean that something is ‘wrong’ with my baby? And it does not mean that at all.”
Janet’s guest is Dr. Angela Fisher-Solomon, an Infant Developmental Psychologist and RIE Associate with over 20 years of national and international experience in the Early Childhood field. Angela’s passion and the focus of her extensive work and research is building strong adult-infant/toddler relationships from birth, no matter what the circumstances. Every infant is unique, and every family dynamic is different. Angela strives to equip parents and professionals with tools to support and strengthen their relationships while nurturing each child's authenticity, resilience, and self-confidence.
Learn more about Angela's work and resources at: FIOTbabiesconsulting.com.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.
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Our Fears as Parents - Real and Imagined (with Dr. Tina Payne Bryson)
Becoming a parent changes us. The intense love we feel for our children makes us vulnerable to elements of their lives we don't control. Protective instincts are activated in us that we might never have known we had. From the time our babies are born, we're faced with a multitude of decisions about what we allow them to experience. Naturally, we want to empower our kids to feel capable and resilient, self-confident rather than doubtful, not anxious or fearful. But how do we know when we should let go and trust vs. say no and shield them? Are we saying no because it's too risky for our child, or because it makes us anxious? How can we manage and understand our fears? Janet's guest Dr. Tina Payne Bryson (co-author of “The Whole-Brain Child”) speaks to all of these questions with her usual brilliance and eloquence.
Learn more about the resources Dr. Tina Payne Bryson offers at TinaPayneBryson.com and on her Instagram page: TinaPayneBryson
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.
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Let Kids Choose... Except When They Can't
As parents and caregivers, most of us know that it's a good idea to let our kids make choices. Offering choice is one of the ways we demonstrate respect for children as competent people. Making appropriate choices encourages them to be decision-makers and problem solvers, helps to foster a sense of autonomy, agency and healthy control in their world. In this episode, Janet shares how we can begin offering our kids choices even as babies and how as toddlers they crave choice as an expression of their burgeoning sense of self. Janet notes, however, that it can get more complicated. There will be times when offering young children even the simplest choice can seem to paralyze them in indecision. In other instances, they'll make opposing demands on us that can be confusing and infuriating. How do we navigate this? Janet explains by offering guidelines for when and how offering choices works best.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.
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Raising Emotional Intelligence and Resilience for a Meaningful Life (with Susan David)
In this encore episode (from the height of the Covid pandemic): Psychologist, author, and TED Talk superstar Susan David joins Janet to discuss how parents can nurture their children’s capacity to process difficult emotions, thoughts, and experiences. “Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life,” she says, but we can help our children develop resilience and a capability to navigate uncomfortable emotions so they’re no longer scary. Susan offers advice how parents can instill confidence and a sense of well-being. The process begins with awareness, acceptance, and compassion for ourselves.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.
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What To Do About Embarrassing, Troubling, or Crazy-Making Things Our Kids Say
Children are wonderfully honest about what they’re feeling and thinking, and how they view the world around them. When they feel safe with us, they tend to lead from the heart, without filters. That can inspire some eye-opening and entertaining conversations! What happens, though, when our child openly makes observations or asks questions about another person's physical appearance or behavior? Or when they become fixed on an unsettling or argumentative opinion? Janet responds to 3 emails from parents who are (to varying degrees) uncomfortable with what their kids are saying and wonder if they should do more to correct and discourage them.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
It's Not Too Late
Thoughtful parents write to Janet each week sharing concerns about relational dynamics they regret creating with their children. "Is it too late?" they ask. Janet's reply: "Never." In this encore episode, Janet responds to an email from the parent of three kids (12, 9, and 3) who has just recently found Unruffled. She writes: “Your methods and insights have been truly freeing and a paradigm shift in experience for me.” However, she realizes now that her parenting style has included shaming, inconsistencies, and a negative reaction to her kids’ emotions. She says her middle child especially is struggling as a result. She feels guilty and is wondering how to make things right. “How can I help them after all the damage I have done?“
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
The Science of Intimacy With Our Kids (With Dr. Taniesha Burke)
Creating intimate bonds with our children is the primary parenting goal for most of us, and there are enormous benefits. Our kids are far more cooperative when they're regularly reminded that we see and accept them. The mutual trust we foster creates a sense of safety that helps our kids stay more grounded and self-regulated, so there won't be as much challenging behavior. When it does arise, it will be easier to resolve. Most important of all, our parent-child relationships will be deeper, richer, more rewarding, and lifelong.
Janet's guest Dr. Taniesha Burke is a researcher and parent coach who has extensively studied how parent-child intimacy works and what we can do to increase it. Dr. Burke and Janet discuss these findings and how we can apply them with our children and in all our relationships.
Taniesha's website is: https://www.tanieshaburke.com
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse and JanetLansbury.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Getting Real With How We Feel (With Elisabeth Corey)
“When we understand the reasons we react to our children in the way we do, we can begin to change the way we parent.”
Janet welcomes a return visit from trauma survivor Elisabeth Corey, who suffered throughout childhood and her teens from severe physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. As an adult, that horrific period of her life was wiped from her memory, but the birth of her twins triggered painful flashbacks. Elisabeth has not only championed her own recovery but dedicated her life and work to helping others—breaking the cycle of abuse through conscious parenting. Janet and Elizabeth share a brave conversation about how emotional suppression distances us from our true selves, which makes caring for our children much harder. Alternatively, awareness of our feelings leads to healing and sets us free.
Elisabeth’s website is BeatingTrauma.com where she offers one-on-one coaching, workshops, a blog, a free video series, and much more.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Words That Get in Our Way
Janet frequently advises us not to focus on trying to say the "right" words when we’re engaging with our kids. Why? Because regardless of the words we’re using, our children usually sense what we are feeling and how we are perceiving them moment to moment. So, generally, memorized scripts or phrases aren’t going to be as important as our true feelings and intentions. However, in this episode, Janet switches gears to describe 3 situations where our words actually do matter. In these instances, word choices can affect our perceptions of our children, hinder our ability to connect with them, and impede other goals we have as parents. None of us are perfect, of course, nor would our kids wish us to be, but awareness of the impact of our words can make our lives easier.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
It Works! Parents Report Powerful Benefits From Allowing Kids' Feelings
Allowing our children to vent their feelings, encouraging and even welcoming them however they are expressed (and not taking it personally!), it is not easy at first. It is a practice that requires taking our head and then our heart into a place where we can calm ourselves enough to genuinely listen, and accept with compassion rather than judgment. In this episode, Janet shares several notes from parents who describe how making the effort to practice this perspective has paid off in major breakthroughs in their relationships with their children. One parent writes: “I have tears in my eyes as I write this because I just didn’t know that this type of connection with anyone, let alone the most important person in my world, was even possible.”
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
When Our Child Won't Accept Boundaries
Janet responds to an email from a parent who admits she struggles to establish personal boundaries. She says she has "hit rock bottom" regarding her relationship with her 2-year-old. She tries to set limits and then acknowledge his feelings when he reacts, but he screams and cries, and she can't get her work done. She believes her son is "making it very clear that I need a drastic change if I want our relationship to be a two-way street."
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse and JanetLansbury.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
How to Help Kids Behave in Restaurants, Church, Storytime, Music Class, and More
We all have certain hopes and expectations of our children when it comes to their behavior in public settings, both organized and informal. We’re often disappointed. The reality is that in any given situation, not every young child will handle themselves with the kind of interest and attention we desire or expect, even when other children seem to have it all together. Janet offers 9 suggestions for how we can better understand our children’s behavior in these moments and how to support them to benefit from the experiences.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Problems With Other People's Children
As conscious parents, we're doing our best to learn to anticipate and respond effectively to our children's behaviors and needs. However, the behaviors of the other children in our kids' lives—friends, relatives, new acquaintances in public environments—are far less predictable. It’s inevitable our kids will encounter situations that confuse, baffle, or even frighten them. So, what do we do when our kids are faced with these new and uncomfortable situations? And what is the best way to interact gracefully and helpfully with parents who aren’t on the same page?
Janet shares 3 notes from parents whose kids have experienced unpleasant interactions with other children. The parents' instinct was to step in, but they were uncertain how to do that without offending the other parents. Janet explains her perspective and specific advice for handling each of these encounters.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Preparing Our Children to Be Emotionally Healthy Teens (With Phinnah Chichi)
Janet’s guest this week is Phinnah Chichi, an author, lecturer, and parenting coach whose inspired ideas and worldview help to educate and empower both teens and their parents. Phinnah’s work and philosophy dovetail with Janet’s focus on infants and toddlers. Both prioritize communication, trust, and connection to encourage emotional and social skills, and ultimately to forge lasting parent/child relationships.
Phinnah's website: parentingteenssolutions.com. Her book is available on Amazon.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
What To Do (and Not Do) When Kids Have Meltdowns, Tantrums, Strong Emotions
What do children need from us when they're experiencing intense feelings? What are the best things to say and do to calm their emotional storms? Janet responds to notes from three insightful professionals who express concerns that what they're doing isn't working. Janet validates their perspectives and explains why. Then she offers specific recommendations for navigating children's outbursts in a manner that fosters their resilience and a healthy attitude toward emotions while also nurturing trusting relationships.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse and JanetLansbury.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.
Our Sponsors:
* Check out BabyQuip and use my code UNRUFFLED for a great deal: http://www.babyquip.com
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Stuck in a Pattern of Frustration and Anger
A mother laments the close relationship she used to enjoy with her daughter before having another child. Lately, her daughter has been testing limits, and she has found herself losing both her patience and her temper. “I really don’t want to continue this way with my daughter.” She’s wondering if Janet has any advice how she can remain calm and confident when her daughter seems intent on pushing her buttons.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
How We Invalidate Our Kids Without Meaning To (And What to Do Instead)
With the best of intentions, we can invalidate our kids in subtle ways that make it harder for them to move through their feelings in a healthy manner. Janet responds to three questions from listeners who each recount a specific difficulty they’re experiencing with their kids’ behaviors. These are thoughtful, patient, respectful parents, yet their problems seem to persist. They feel they just can’t get through to their child. Janet identifies a common thread in these parents’ stories and explains how and why they could be inadvertently invalidating their children’s feelings. She offers suggestions for how they might look beyond the problem to understand and address the cause.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Shouldn't They Know Better By Now?
It can be confounding when our children behave in negative ways after we've told them umpteen times it’s wrong. Surely they’re aware that we don’t approve! And yet, they repeat the behavior no matter how frustrated, annoyed, or angry we get. Janet offers her perspective on this dynamic while answering a question from the mom of a short-tempered 6-year-old. This boy's father believes certain behaviors are simply unacceptable because their son is “old enough to know better,” but this mom isn't as sure and wonders if Janet can clarify what they should realistically expect for a child their son’s age.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
You can find the Mr. Chazz videos that Janet mentions at: tiktok.com/@mrchazzmrchazz.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Becoming Untriggered (with Lavinia Brown and Andrew Lynn)
Trauma informed coaches Lavinia Brown and Andrew Lynn join Janet to discuss how they help parents identify triggers and heal wounds that are preventing them from being the parents they wish to be and otherwise negatively impacting their daily lives. Andrew says: "Trauma robs you of the freedom to choose how you react." Lavinia and Andrew describe some of the common signs of trauma and repressed emotions, how they recognized their own, and how their respective coaching practices enable parents to process these emotions by connecting with the needs of their inner child.
Reach Lavinia at LaviniaBrown.com. Her Instagram is LaviniaBrownCoaching.
Reach Andrew at AndrewLynn.net, or on Instagram at Andrew.g.Lynn.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Love Doesn't Mean Walking on Eggshells
In this week’s podcast, Janet breaks format slightly by sharing back-and-forth interactions she's had with listeners and her reflections about these exchanges. In the first, a parent eloquently describes a revelation about his children’s challenging behaviors and how they can bring out his best self. The second exchange explores the nuances of navigating boundaries and the messages we unintentionally give children by walking on eggshells vs. welcoming their feelings. Janet connects these discussions by noting how they both express what putting love into action really means with our kids.
Exciting news: Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available now at: NoBadKidsCourse.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Weird, Worrying Behaviors That Our Child Keeps Repeating
Janet responds to 3 separate messages from parents who are having issues with their children that are making them confused and unsure of themselves. While the details of the children's behaviors all differ, Janet identifies a common theme in the parents’ reactions and attitudes that she believes is perpetuating the behavior. She offers suggestions for how these parents can shift their perspective, gain more confidence in their role as leaders, and respond in a manner that resolves the true need behind the "wants" their children are expressing.
Janet's No Bad Kids Master Course is available now: http://nobadkidscourse.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Worn Down by a Toddler's Screaming, Testing, and Demands
A frustrated parent writes that she and her partner are feeling like failures because their 2.5-year-old is pushy and demanding to the point that they end up losing their patience and yelling. Most challenging of all is that the toddler screams when she doesn’t get her way -- and sometimes for no reason at all. Occasionally, they've screamed right back. “I know,” this parent admits, “a very low point.” Janet offers insights as to the cause of the child's behavior and a perspective shift to help ease this mom’s concerns while also improving their parent-child relationship dynamics.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Is Parenting Too Hard? You May Be Doing Too Much
No matter how we approach raising our children, there are times we'll feel physically, mentally, or emotionally exhausted. Maybe all of the above. We’re only human, of course, but it may also be that we're taking on more than we need to --- depleting our energy with roles and tasks that are better left to our child. In this episode, Janet offers ideas for lightening our workload by recognizing and trusting our children's intrinsic abilities. Janet's job description reframe can help save our energy, nurture self-confidence, and at the same time foster a flourishing parent-child relationship.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
More Kids, More Conflict - How Can We Keep the Peace?
The parent of three young boys is struggling to deal with their demands and the conflicts between them. If she accommodates one boy’s wishes, the other two react with an opposing desire, jealousy, and fighting. She’s wondering how to cope with her situation when everything feels like a compromise. “Most of the time I feel like they’re either fighting with each other or fighting over me,” she says. “It’s exhausting.”
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at JanetLansbury.com and NoBadKidsCourse.com.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Controlling, Rigid, Argumentative Behavior (What It Means and What We Can Do)
Janet replies to the concerns of 3 different families who all share that they're struggling with their children's controlling, inflexible, and, in one case, possessive behaviors. The children range in age from 2 to 6, and Janet observes they all appear to have personalities on the intense side. One parent is particularly worried about how her son treats his peers when he doesn't get his way. She writes: "I worry he will lose friends or be unable to form deep connections if he yells and screams at his friends like this." Janet suggests a point of view for understanding and addressing these behaviors which can apply to almost any issue parents might face. She also offers examples of responses for the specific behaviors in each of these situations.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available for pre-order at NoBadKidsCourse and JanetLansbury.
Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
(Encore) A Pep-Talk for Parents: Embracing Our Power to Be Confident Leaders
Janet shares what she describes as her most valuable advice for parents -- a mindset that brings clarity to our role in our children's lives, makes our job more enjoyable and successful, and may even offer us personal growth. Janet explains why and how this perspective works, offers practical examples, and touches on some of the common issues that can get in our way. As parents, we tend to question ourselves: are we doing this parenting thing right, or are we failing? Janet's message is to afford ourselves the same trust and grace we hope to give to our children, to fully believe that we can do this!
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is now available at www.NoBadKidsCourse.com and www.JanetLansbury.com.
Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
The Upside of Toddler Tantrums
A parent is uncomfortable with her toddler's tantrums because her child seems so unreachable at these times. The parent's instinct is to reach out, soothe and reassure her child, but she realizes there is no way to get through to her when she's in the midst of it. She's hoping Janet has advice for how she might connect with respect and compassion.
Janet's 'No Bad Kids Master Course' is available for pre-order on her website www.janetlansbury.com or at NoBadKidsCourse.com.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Nurturing a Deeper Connection to Nature and Heritage (with Ashley Causey-Golden)
Educator Ashley Causey-Golden was drawn to Montessori principles but felt something missing that she longed to provide: cultural relevancy. She wondered, "What would it look like to create a Montessori space that uplifted, affirmed, celebrated Black children?" Fulfilling this desire has been a journey of discovery and grace (with a lot of mistakes along the way). Ashley's ultimate success gave her the courage to pursue another passion: nature education. As the co-founder of Gather Forest School and creator of Afrocentric Montessori, Ashley has a wealth of experience to share with all families and educators interested in nurturing our children's spirit, sense of community, and connection to the natural world.
For more about Ashley and her resources and projects, please visit: https://afrocentricmontessori.com/
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
Janet's books are available in paperback and ebook at Amazon.com, and in audio at Audible.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Best Ways to Encourage Independent Play
Janet addresses a parent’s concerns about her daughter’s unwillingness to play independently. She seems to need constant stimulation and entertainment.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at www.nobadkidscourse.com or www.JanetLansbury.com.
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books in paperback at Amazon and in audio at Audible.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Navigating Get-Togethers with Relatives, Friends, and Their Kids
We may not always agree with the parenting styles of our relatives and friends, and that's okay. Get-togethers can still be enjoyable, positive social experiences for us and for our kids. In this episode, Janet offers her perspective on some of the common challenges that arise in gatherings with friends, family, and in public situations with other kids and parents. Her suggestions include:
- How to set ourselves up for success
- Being proactive, rather than reactive
- Effective interventions with other parents’ children (as well as our own)
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
It's Hard to Feel Compassion for Unreasonable Emotions
A concerned parent writes that her 3-year-old seems to be in a constant state of frustration or anxiety, and she makes outlandish demands and cries when she doesn’t get her way. While this mom tries to be compassionate, it’s getting more and more difficult, and she worries that her own postpartum anxiety may have modeled the behavior. She’s looking for healthy ways to help them both cope.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at wwwnobadkidscourse.com and www.JanetLansbury.com.
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Raising Creative, Critical Thinkers in a Commercialized World (with Susan Linn)
Janet's guest is psychologist, writer, researcher, and Harvard lecturer Susan Linn. For decades, Susan has been a passionate advocate for our children and a steadfast fighter against the infiltration of Big Business and Big Tech into kids' lives (and parents' pocketbooks). In an eye-opening discussion, Susan describes how digital culture is designed to indoctrinate children into consumerism and brand loyalty, and how it's geared to create dependencies on games and devices for stimulation and soothing. She explains how games and devices teach values that are often diametrically opposed to our own, how they can affect learning by shrinking our children’s world and even interfere with parent-child relationships. Ultimately, Susan and Janet focus on the positive actions we can take to lessen the impact of manipulative marketers while realistically acknowledging the role of digitized culture in all of our lives.
More to learn in this episode:
- How to choose the most beneficial toys and programs for our kids
- How advertisers capture children's attention and encourage them to nag us for more, more, more
- Why combatting commercialized culture isn't only a family issue, but a societal one
- What Alexa offers to "bored" children
- Computer games are less "active" for kids than we might believe
For more on Susan, her work, and her books, visit: www.https://www.consumingkids.com/
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
End of the Day Crazies with Kids
Many of us imagine late afternoons or evenings with our children as the perfect time to wind down and connect after a busy day. Unfortunately, this is often precisely when our children need to unload the day’s stresses. Which means that instead of enjoying restorative quality time together, we're faced with challenging behavior, high emotions, and discontent. Janet unpacks some of the reasons why evenings can be so difficult for kids and what we can do to help them (and ourselves!).
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at JanetLansbury.com and NoBadKidsCourse.com.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Boundaries We Need and Deserve (with Nedra Tawwab)
Janet is joined by Nedra Tawwab: therapist, relationship expert, and author of the NY Times best-seller “Set Boundaries, Find Peace.” Nedra and Janet discuss how our personal boundaries with friends, family, co-workers, and children are crucial for building positive, healthy relationships. Nedra emphasizes how boundaries begin with being kinder to ourselves. "We are in relationships from the time we're born,” Nedra says, “and the biggest relationship, the most consistent relationship we have is the one with ourselves. And that is the relationship that I'm constantly trying to improve." Ultimately, the boundaries and self-image we nurture for ourselves teach our children what they deserve in their relationships, now and in the future.
For more information and resources from Nedra, including her best-selling book "Set Boundaries, Find Peace," go to: https://www.nedratawwab.com/
Janet's NO BAD KIDS MASTER COURSE is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
Paperbacks and e-books are available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
When We're Too Late to Stop the Behavior (Now What?)
A parent with a family in transition writes about a series of mischievous and sometimes destructive incidents perpetrated by her toddler. She’s wondering how to address these situations, especially after the fact when the deed is already done.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible.
Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
The Beauty of Sleep (with Eileen Henry)
Sleep is an essential element of our happiness and well-being. If our child is not sleeping, then chances are good that we aren’t either. Many families are content with the sleep situations in their households, and more power to them. Others seek advice and solutions because they struggle night after night. Still others fear that making any kind of change in their approach could threaten their attachment bond and are resigned to waiting months, even years, for their children's sleep patterns to improve. They've been led to believe that this is the only natural, gentle, or respectful way. Sleep specialist Eileen Henry's perspective is neither "cry it out" nor "wait it out," but a middle way that prioritizes attachment and is rooted in science and nature. "We don't train children to sleep,” she says. “We create a physical and emotional environment that allows sleep to come naturally."
Visit Eileen's website at: http://compassionatesleepsolutions.com/
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at JanetLansbury and NoBadKidsCourse.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
How Sportscasting Helps Kids Develop Social Intelligence
Janet responds to a mother who writes that she tries to sportscast disagreements between her older two children, but since the 2-year-old isn’t verbal yet, “it’s hard when I don’t really know what he’s thinking.” She’s wondering how to sportscast situations effectively without making assumptions about what her boy may be thinking or feeling in that moment.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at www.nobadkidscourse.com and www.JanetLansbury.com.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Stressed by a Child's Demands for Attention
A frustrated parent who describes herself as “desperate for help” seeks advice about her persistent, high-energy 2.5-year-old, who dominates her and her husband's time and energy with relentless demands to be the focus of their universe -- all day, every day.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Teaching Our Kids Patience
Our children's impatience and low tolerance for frustration can… well, test our patience! In this week's episode, Janet responds to a question from a listener about how to teach a toddler to be more patient. Janet considers what patience really means to a child, how it develops, and how our expectations as parents and caregivers may get in the way. Her recommendations (as is often the case) may be surprising and counterintuitive.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at nobadkidscourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books. Paperbacks and e-books are available at Amazon.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Independent Play, Meltdowns, Boundaries -- Success Stories from My Inbox
A parent who’s always been her toddler’s playmate helps her child over the hump to flourish in independent play. Another parent learns to set boundaries, shift her perspective, and accept her child’s meltdowns. Janet shares a special milestone and much more in this latest episode of Unruffled. Thanks to Ritual for sponsoring this episode.
Janet's new "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at www.NoBadKidsCourse.com and www.JanetLansbury.com.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
How to Avoid a Stand-Off When Kids "Disobey"
Janet responds to a parent who wonders how to react to her daughter's consistently stubborn behavior. "I feel like I have a set of tools to handle my 4-year-old daughter's outbursts of emotions, but I am at a loss for what to do when she stoically disobeys or ignores me altogether."
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
For more on respectful parenting solutions, please check out "Sessions", Janet's collection of recorded consultations with parents: www.SessionsAudio.com
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Help Me Stop Yelling at My Child
Janet responds to an email from a parent who says that lately, she has found herself yelling at her 3-year-old, who’s been having a difficult time since the birth of her brother. She realizes that yelling is not helping her daughter, and it’s not the parent she wants to be. “I’ve really lost control of this parenting thing and need a reset.”
Janet new "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at www.NoBadKidsCourse.com and www.JanetLansbury.com.
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Our Sponsors:
* Check out BabyQuip and use my code UNRUFFLED for a great deal: http://www.babyquip.com
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Childhood Wounds We Never Knew We Had (Until Kids) with Dr. Jean Cheng
Clinical psychologist Jean Cheng joins Janet to discuss the puzzling, painful, and self-defeating feelings that our children's behaviors can bring up in us as parents. No matter how well educated and prepared we are for this role, we might find ourselves overwhelmed and viscerally reacting by yelling, threatening, or "checking out." Often the answer lies in our own childhoods, in subtle wounds and traumas we may have had no awareness of before becoming parents. Dr. Cheng describes the myriad of ways our parents and caregivers – while often doing their very best – may have left wounds. She illuminates “this inner landscape of feelings” that our brains tend to minimize but which can manifest in a lack of self-confidence, an inability to maintain boundaries, and “reactions that are different from the kind of parents we want to be.” Janet and Jean discuss ways to recognize and acknowledge our childhood wounds and address them with empathy and compassion.
Janet's new 'No Bad Kids Master Course' is available at nobadkidscourse.com and www.janetlansbury.com.
You can contact Dr. Jean Cheng on these platforms: https://instagram.com/jeanpsychologist https://www.facebook.com/jeanpsychologist/ Website: https://www.talithakoumpsychology.com
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Hitting, Screaming, Calling Us Names (and What We Can Do About it)
Janet helps a struggling parent understand her spirited toddler’s aggressive behavior and offers suggestions to respond more effectively.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Lessons, Sports, and Hobbies: A Child-Led Approach
How do we help our children benefit from the privilege of extracurricular activities? At what age should we enroll our kids in lessons and sports? Janet has a child-centered approach that not everyone will agree with, but she believes is "too good not to share." She discusses how parents can discern their child's readiness and describes the benefits and challenges of making readiness our priority. She shares how her approach keeps the big picture in mind while also saving time and money and alleviating many of the concerns and frustrations that parents have expressed to her over the years.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at www.nobadkidscourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon: https://amzn.to/3ATFwkb Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Easing Our Children's Transition to School
It can be so hard to separate from our children sometimes! Particularly if they cry, seem anxious, or strongly object. How can we prepare our children (and ourselves) for a successful transition? Janet responds to emails from two different families struggling with goodbyes at school drop-off and offers recommendations for a helpful and respectful approach to handling all transitions and separations.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Validating Feelings Isn't Working
The practice of acknowledging our children's feelings and struggles can provide healing, calming messages of safety and acceptance. With a genuine tone and a few words, our acknowledgments can help children share pent-up emotions, feel seen and heard, and gradually regulate, which in turn eases problematic behaviors. However, parents commonly share with Janet that validating feelings doesn't work for their child and feels more like an exercise in frustration. Janet speaks to some of the common reasons this practice might feel less effective, what to do instead, and why we shouldn't give up on acknowledging as a powerfully empathic relationship-building tool.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible.
Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
When Your Kids Won't Give You a Break
The mother of two boys feels they are constantly testing her limits and always at her side demanding attention. They won’t allow her a moment to handle daily chores like laundry or cooking, never mind her personal needs. “They think it’s funny, “ she writes, “and I undoubtedly lose my patience. I feel like they just don’t listen to whatever limit I’ve set.”
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Is 'Gentle Parenting' Too Extreme and Impossible?
Janet shares an exchange she had with a parent who wonders how anyone can possibly live up to the extreme idealism of "gentle parenting." She writes: “It sounds so lovely… but it’s also crushing to never be able to live up to despite having all the tools and knowledge.” While "gentle parenting" is not a term Janet uses, she understands that it's a catch-all for recent discussions and news articles about parenting philosophies. In response, Janet shares her own mental and emotional struggles as a new mother striving for perfectionism as she tried to put Magda Gerber’s teachings into practice. She describes moments of frustration, feelings of failure and being judged, and how through her own experiences of self-doubt and criticism, she learned to give herself permission to be an imperfect parent in a process.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Boosting Your Child's Self-Confidence
We all aspire for our children to grow up with a positive self-image and an abundance of self-confidence. When life throws our child a dilemma, it’s our natural instinct to want to fix it, or at least work them through the uncomfortable feelings with a pep talk. In this episode, Janet answers questions from three listeners and offers a more helpful – albeit counterintuitive – perspective that can help children learn resilience and find the kind of confidence in themselves that lasts a lifetime.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Boundaries That Encourage the Most Positive Sibling Relationships
A mother writes that her toddler son “can’t keep his hands off” his 10-month old sister. She describes his demeanor as a mixture of excitement and affection, but she also senses an undertone of aggression. She wants them both to feel her support when they’re together in one space, but she finds herself either holding him back or removing the baby altogether. “I’d like to find a safe way for them to engage with each other,” she writes. “At least sometimes.”
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books in paperback at Amazon, and on audio at Audible. Her exclusive audio series "Sessions" is also available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Don't Let Your Kids Miss Out on Play (with Kisha Reid)
Early childhood expert Kisha Reid joins Janet in a lively conversation about the often overlooked and underestimated benefits of play-driven learning and how we can nurture these lifelong gifts for our children. Kisha and Janet discuss the magic of trusting children to discover and develop their passions and how our fears, misperceptions, and impatience as parents can get in their way. Reid weighs in on how to balance free play with lessons, sports, and other extracurriculars and whether parents should be concerned about summer learning loss. She also shares how in the early stages of her career she went against the grain by pioneering her play-based approach in traditional preschool environments.: “I was that teacher that everybody else looked at like, ‘What is wrong with her? She can’t control her class.’” Reid describes how she accommodates neurodiverse children in her program and her belief overall that “we need to shift the measuring tool that we use for some of our assessments of young children so that it’s inclusive of values and more diverse things.”
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
Our Sponsors:
* Check out BabyQuip and use my code UNRUFFLED for a great deal: http://www.babyquip.com
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
What to Do Instead of Time Out
Janet shares an exchange with a mom requesting "alternatives to time out when natural consequences aren’t appropriate." The parent wonders how to intervene with her toddler when she is possessive and aggressive around other kids.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible.
Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com). This episode is a special ad-free broadcast.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Helping Our Children Say "I'm Sorry"
The mother of a four-year-old is frustrated that her child will never say “I’m sorry" when he's done something wrong. She has tried both gentle and more forceful approaches, as well as attempting to help him understand the spirit and intent of an apology, all to no effect.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
When Troublesome Behavior Continues... and Continues
Our children's repeated behaviors can be baffling, exhausting, and sometimes infuriating, particularly after we've tried everything we can think of to make them stop. What are we missing? In this episode of ‘Unruffled’, Janet shares some of the common reasons behaviors persist and offers her actionable suggestions for helping our children (and ourselves) get unstuck.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Balancing the Needs of More Than One Child (with Erica Orosco Cruz)
How does respectful care work when we have more than one child? What can we do when siblings, multiples, and other groups of children seem to need our attention all at once? Janet's guest is early childhood specialist Erica Orosco Cruz, a mother of 4 and the founder/director of Homeschool Garden, a childcare center and preschool/kindergarten for children ages 1-6. Erica trained with Magda Gerber. She encourages parents to allow their children to participate actively in their own care, empower them with predictable routines and cues, learn through age-appropriate conflicts, and express their feelings fully. “Being a mother is no easy feat,” she says. “Being a caregiver of multiple children is no easy feat. But when we have a love and a curiosity for it, it gives us a lot of opportunities to shift, to try different things.”
You can learn more about Erica's incredible work, her school, and about her online and in-person workshops at www.homeschoolgardensite.com.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
The Power of Authenticity with Our Children - Why It Matters
Janet discusses the challenges and benefits of authenticity -- how being real with our children helps us to achieve our goals as parents, strengthens our relationship, and even makes our lives easier. Janet says that it was Magda Gerber who modeled authenticity for her, and her teachings “freed me to embrace my authentic, messy inner life and my messy parenting and my messy relationships. And this is what I would love to pass along in my imperfect way so that you too can be inspired to be authentically imperfect (or imperfectly authentic).”
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Concerned About Your Child’s Eating Habits? Ellyn Satter Has Answers
Janet’s guest is the world-renowned nutritionist, family therapist, and author Ellyn Satter. Throughout her long career, Ellyn has successfully addressed issues related to eating and feeding and taught parents how to transform meals into happy, healthful, struggle-free events. “There is so much interference with sensible feeding,” Ellyn says. Her wise, empathetic, research-backed advice helps families to reshape their relationships with food, removing the conflict and drama that sometimes accompanies eating, and to discover “relaxation and joyful eating and parenting.”
Ellyn is the author of “Child of Mine – Feeding with Love and Good Sense” along with scores of other books, videos, and healthy eating guides. Her website (https://www.ellynsatterinstitute.org/) offers a wealth of resources on not only food, eating, and feeding, but emotional health and positive family relationships as well.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Good News About Disagreeable Behavior (Questions From My Inbox)
Janet responds to a series of questions from her inbox about some typical behavior challenges parents face. Topics include a child refusing to follow directions, another who stirs up a sibling's emotions leaving the parent struggling to cope with her two upset children at once, a daughter who repeats her parent's foul language, and a son who reflects the mannerisms of his less mature peer. Janet finds common themes in these issues that she hopes will ease parents' minds and help them to respond in the most effective manner.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.
Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
Our Sponsors:
* Check out BabyQuip and use my code UNRUFFLED for a great deal: http://www.babyquip.com
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
How Do We Know When to Set a Boundary?
In response to Janet's article “When Your Child Seems Stuck Seeking Negative Attention,” a parent says her daughter will whine and cry while making "reasonable" requests for snuggles and food and play, but when she obliges, her daughter often then refuses those things. If she says no to her daughter’s requests, “it escalates into crying hard and being truly upset.” These reactions lead the parent to suspect that her daughter may actually want to hear ‘no’ so she can have an emotional release. She's confused as to how much attention her daughter really needs versus when to set a boundary.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
7 Daily Reminders for Parents
Inspired by a listener's request, Janet offers a list of daily reminders that she hopes will help parents meet the challenges of their day with more clarity, calmness, and confidence.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Surprising Benefits of Doing Less, Observing More, and Welcoming Feelings
A parent describes experiencing a dramatic shift in her parenting perspective through the ideas Janet offers in her podcasts and books. The developmentally appropriate lens suggested by Janet and her mentor Magda Gerber has transformed this parent's relationship with her baby. She is gaining more compassion for her child and herself, learning to regulate her emotions, feel more confident, and use her energy wisely. She's even noticing surprising results in specific situations. For instance, by following Magda's and Janet's advice to do less, observe and trust her baby more, a cross-country flight she had dreaded became a "sublime" experience. Best of all, this mom reports a newfound "ability to enjoy parenthood in a way I would not have otherwise,” and that she is learning to care for her childhood self, which benefits her, her child, her marriage, and all her relationships.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Choose Not to Battle with Your Child (Here's How)
A single parent writes that she is frustrated and exhausted by her almost 3-year-old’s constant resistance. Every aspect of their lives is either a negotiation or a struggle: dressing, leaving the house, getting into his car seat, drop-offs at school. This mom describes some recent big transitions in her boy’s life, and she is sensitive to the possibility that he may have separation issues. She says she does incorporate many of Janet’s ideas into her parenting practices, but she’s desperate for some guidance to make their relationship less challenging.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.
Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
Our Sponsors:
* Check out BabyQuip and use my code UNRUFFLED for a great deal: http://www.babyquip.com
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Potty Learning - How and Why to Let Children Lead the Way
While every child will eventually and inevitably learn to use the potty, the process can be stressful, frustrating, and often counterproductive for both the child and caregiver. Janet knows it doesn’t have to be this way. She offers her perspective on the process and a potty learning method that recognizes a child’s natural motivation to achieve this milestone (they can do this), and how parents can support the effort without pressure, bribes, or deal-making. The result is a child whose self-confidence grows in all areas because he has been allowed to own this accomplishment.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible.
Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
When Children Seem Troubled by Our Emotions and Moods
A parent writes that she and her husband are concerned their toddler feels responsible for their emotions. This is a trait they both recognize from their own backgrounds. “He asks again and again, ‘Happy, mommy?’ as if he’s trying to help me be happy.” This mom says that if she admits that, no, she is not entirely happy at the moment, he gives her hugs and cuddles and persists in asking if she's happy. While these parents want to foster their child’s empathy and sensitivity, they don’t want him taking on the burden of other people’s emotions. They’re hoping Janet has some advice to help manage this delicate balancing act.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
A Holistic Approach to Baby and Toddler Sleep (with Grace Koinange)
Pediatric sleep expert Grace Koinange joins Janet this week to share her experience, knowledge, and a few secrets for helping babies and toddlers to sleep. Janet had the privilege of seeing Grace in action and was impressed by her ability to tune in to a baby's most subtle cues and support his individual sleep rhythm. Grace and Janet discuss consistency, self-confidence, nurturing sleep from infancy, helping a toddler transition to a new sleeping arrangement, and trust in the child as an active participant in the sleep process.
Learn more about Grace Koinange's services and contact her here: https://www.newbornsleeptraining.com/
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible.
Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
It Had to Be You - The Struggles and Joys of Raising a Child with Disabilities (with Loryn Brantz)
Loryn Brantz is an author, illustrator, and comic creator raising a daughter with disabilities. Dalia was born with a rare genetic abnormality that made feeding an all-night process, and doctors were not confident she would ever crawl, much less walk. Throughout their journey, Loryn has supported Dalia with acceptance, optimism, and love. In return, she is continually inspired. “I see her disability and her uniqueness as part of what makes her so amazing and special. And everything she does is going to be more amazing because of what she’s had to go through to get there.” Janet believes Loryn has found the formula for happiness as a parent – accepting, cherishing, and truly enjoying our children for who they are.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com)
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Finding Our Best Response to Children's Turbulent Emotions
Janet responds to emails from parents who describe struggling with their children’s strong emotions. One writes that her 2-year-old rejects her comfort when he has a meltdown: “It breaks my heart, and I feel like I must be doing something wrong.” Another writes that her 7-year-old says he doesn’t feel love from his mother. Another email describes how a 3-year-old’s tantrums last all afternoon and into the evening, disrupting the rest of the family’s routine, and they “all feel trapped by a 3-year-old.” And a therapist observes that her child holds in emotions in front of family and peers. Janet identifies the common thread in all these situations and offers a hopeful answer to weather the storms.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, Apple Books, or pretty much anywhere e-books are sold.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com)
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
How to Stop Feeling Frustrated by Your Child's Behavior - A Family Success Story
Janet shares a family's inspiring success story about dealing with their 3.5-year-old’s repeated, seemingly wanton problem behavior. The parent admits that both she and her husband were frustrated and “triggered” by the behavior, and they reacted with anger and scolding. The situation came to a head when their boy started lying about his actions, which was particularly hurtful to his dad. After reading some of Janet’s advice, they were able to consider their child’s POV with empathy and realize how their reactions may have “made the truth feel unsafe or uncomfortable.” They changed their approach completely and now feel confident their relationship with their child can survive any future storms.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Morning Meltdowns - Asserting Our Boundaries with Connection and Confidence
A parent writes that her 4-year-old daughter begins each morning by screaming and wailing, and the routine has worn this mom down. “It gets right under my skin,” she admits, “and makes me want to run away.” While she does acknowledge her daughter’s emotions in these moments, tries to understand and be patient, she has to get ready for work and sometimes ends up yelling or crying herself. This mom wants to know: “Just how long should I spend offering comfort before I make good on my plan to take care of my needs?”
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.
Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, Apple Books, or pretty much anywhere e-books are sold.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com)
Our Sponsors:
* Check out BabyQuip and use my code UNRUFFLED for a great deal: http://www.babyquip.com
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
It Will Get Easier - The Intense Struggles of a Parent with Childhood Trauma
A courageous “Unruffled” listener shares how Janet’s respectful parenting approach seemed an impossible goal during a dark period of self-discovery, but it also presented a beacon of hope. As she struggled to come to grips with recovered memories of her childhood abuse, her relationship with her two young children was combative and destructive. She was left feeling like a complete failure, unable to parent in the loving, respectful way she had always imagined. Her journey to the other side of this despair is a story of strength and perseverance. Ultimately, her message to other parents is: “The happiness is worth it. The joy is worth it. The connection with your kids is worth it. It’s all worth it.”
Resources: Alwynn: alwynnhynescoaching@gmail.com Inner child work & healing: https://www.laviniabrown.com/coaching Marissa Peer: https://youtube.com/user/MarisaPeer1
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.
Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, Apple Books, or pretty much anywhere e-books are sold.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
Our Sponsors:
* Check out BabyQuip and use my code UNRUFFLED for a great deal: http://www.babyquip.com
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
My Child Is So Mean to Me
A parent's email describes her 4-year-old daughter as smart, funny, incredibly strong-willed, but sometimes “downright mean.” While she appreciates her child’s spirit and doesn’t want to stifle that, when she says mean things to her she doesn’t feel it’s enough to simply acknowledge her daughter’s emotions and let slide her hurtful words and behavior. “I need her to find a better way to express that she is angry with me,” she writes. Janet offers a perspective on the situation that she believes will help this mom better understand her daughter’s unconscious motives and intent, and ultimately ameliorate the behavior.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.
Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Janet's exclusive audio series
"Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
Our Sponsors:
* Check out BabyQuip and use my code UNRUFFLED for a great deal: http://www.babyquip.com
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Parental Burnout and a Reasonable Approach to Screens (with Dr. Meghan Owenz)
Janet’s guest is Dr. Meghan Owenz, a psychologist, professor, parent, and author. Meghan’s new book “Spoiled Right: Delaying Screens and Giving Children What They Really Need” offers the latest research on the effects of screens on young children along with a plethora of practical alternatives. Both Janet and Meghan acknowledge that during the last many months of homeschooling, severely limited socializing, and close quarters, exhausted parents have understandably relied on screens to get some much-needed (and deserved) break-time. The question many weary parents ask is: “What do they do instead?” Meghan and Janet offer some answers.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, Apple Books, or pretty much anywhere e-books are sold. Janet's exclusive audio series
"Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com)
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Navigating the Playground with a Child Who Seems Too Physical, Shy, Huggy, or Bossy
Janet offers her advice for navigating typical playground behaviors in preschool-aged children, such as physical aggression, bossiness and shyness. Whether our child is exhibiting these behaviors or is on the receiving end of another child's dysregulation, Janet shares how helping children to feel understood, protected, and supported encourages the most positive learning process.
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Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
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Attention-Getting, Inappropriate Behavior
A parent writes that her 3.5-year-old just started pre-school and has been bringing home some new behaviors like “lifting her dress to expose her bottom… or making poop and fart sounds.” She especially likes to perform these behaviors for her grandparents or when company comes over. “I like to be funny,” she says. This mom has tried several strategies to reign in her daughter, including ignoring the behavior, but so far without success. Janet offers perspective on both the little girl’s behavior -- and her parent’s reaction to it -- that she believes will help this situation and their relationship.
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Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
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Can We Be Angry or Sad and Still Unruffled?
A parent struggles to control emotions like anger, frustration, and disappointment when they’re triggered by her toddler. While she strives to be a confident leader by appearing calm and unruffled, she also wants to model her emotions authentically for her child. Janet clarifies what it really means to be "unruffled" and how parents can approach this goal without faking or stuffing their emotions.
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Mealtime Manners Begin with Babies
Janet offers advice for handling some of the most common complaints parents share about their children's mealtime behavior: throwing food on the floor, leaving and then returning to the table, refusing to eat certain foods, and lingering endlessly. Janet shares her view that all of these behaviors reflect 3 basic needs children have at mealtime, and by recognizing and filling those needs, the behaviors ultimately subside.
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Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
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"Earlier Is Better" And Other Child Development Myths (with Rae Pica)
Early childhood education luminary Rae Pica joins Janet to share her expertise about how children really learn and to debunk some common parenting myths that can impede a child’s natural development. Rae has dedicated herself to the mission of developing and educating the whole child. She is the author of 20 books, a popular keynote speaker, and throughout her decades-long career has consulted with numerous diverse public and private groups as well as schools and health departments throughout the U.S. Rae's website, contact information, and parenting resources are at https://www.raepica.com and here's where you can sign up for her new program for parents, The Truth About Children: raepica.teachable.com/p/the-truth-about-children.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.
Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, Apple Books, or pretty much anywhere e-books are sold.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
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When Your Child Keeps Ignoring Boundaries and Breaking Rules, Try This
Three different families write to Janet about their children's challenging behaviors. In one case, a 2.5-year-old has resumed an old behavior of hitting and scratching, “but this time around it feels like he’s doing it with more purpose.” Another parent says that when their 5-year-old exhibits rude behavior and is called on it, he gets angry and accuses both parents of being mean to him. A third parent writes that her son loves rule breaking, often in dangerous situations, and that “his eyes light up when we say ‘no’ to things.” All of these parents have exercised patience, but the behaviors continue, and so they've become frustrated and find themselves getting angry. Janet reveals a common thread and suggests a solution she believes will address these behaviors.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
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Race, Trauma, and Hope – A Mother’s Healing Journey (with Cassandra Lane)
Cassandra Lane is an author, Editor-in-Chief of “LA Parent Magazine,” and a mother (something she vowed she would never be). She joins Janet to discuss her new book “We Are Bridges” in which her personal journey from a childhood of poverty and racism to motherhood is juxtaposed against the traumas and upheavals of her ancestors. Her artful storytelling, both memoir and historical imagining, reminds us that we are all inextricably linked to our ancestors, both genetically and experientially. "Not knowing one's story is like being buried alive," she says. It was by acknowledging and, ultimately, empathizing with the past that she became vulnerable enough to risk accepting love and eventually motherhood.
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Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, Apple Books, or pretty much anywhere e-books are sold.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com)
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Helping Toddlers Get Their Social Mojo Back
Recently parents have written to Janet with concerns about their toddlers who are venturing back into the world post-Covid and seem afraid to interact with other children and adults. Several parents even use a similar description of their child seeming ‘frozen’ as they watch activity on a playground but refuse to join in. Janet offers some insight into what’s going on in these toddlers' minds and advice about how to support them during this transition.
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Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com)
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YES Spaces - What They Really Are and Why They Matter
A YES space is a gift to both children and their parents. It offers children ownership of a safe place that encourages play, learning, creativity, agency, and a strong sense of self. Parents get to enjoy one of the great pleasures of parenting: observing their infant or toddler as they explore and master the world around them. Janet describes YES spaces in form and function, dispelling some common misconceptions and sharing tips about how children and parents can benefit the most.
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ADHD and How to Support All Children to Fulfill Their Dreams (with Lynn Miner-Rosen)
ADHD and career coach Lynn Miner-Rosen is unique among counselors because her own life experience includes two children with ADHD, as well as her own mid-life diagnosis. In the face of severe personal crises, Lynn re-invented herself professionally time and again, and she uses these experiences to bring insight, empathy, and encouragement to both parents of children with ADHD and adult clients seeking self-knowledge and career direction.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.
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Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com)
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How Our Boundaries Free Children to Play, Create, and Explore
Janet discusses children's crucial need for boundaries and how our authentic responses can free kids up to create and explore. She shares a success story from a parent who says that her son began constantly demanding she draws pictures for him after she "made a rookie mistake” by drawing for him one time. From that moment on, her son became obsessed: “Inside, he’d bring me crayons and paper, and outside, he’d bring me sidewalk chalk and demand drawings.” She quickly realized that she didn’t want to be drawing for him all the time and understood that this was a boundaries issue. Janet describes the common feelings that get in the way of our creating and maintaining boundaries with our children, how to overcome them and why everyone benefits.
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Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
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Dealing with Judgmental Comments about Our Parenting
A parent is concerned about the negative, judgmental comments her parents and in-laws make about her children’s behavior and their parenting. She writes that she and her husband try to implement Janet’s advice (with a mix of Montessori). While she says she isn’t personally offended by their old school opinions, she does worry about “the confusing, sometimes negative, shaming, mixed messages” and how those might affect her children. She’s looking to Janet for advice as she and her husband struggle to navigate “the outside noise.”
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Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, Apple Books, or pretty much anywhere e-books are sold.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com)
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Damage Control When We Feel Like We're Failing
A parent describes the past year as “brutal” and lists a series of traumatic life events. “I am not okay,” she admits, saying she doesn’t have the energy to remain unruffled when dealing with her kids and feels that she is failing them. While this mom is taking all the right steps to restore herself and find balance in her life, she wonders if Janet has advice about how to manage her needs and those of her children. “It’s not my magnificent kids’ fault,” she writes. “How do I make this time of failure less bad for my kids?”
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.
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Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com)
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Problems with Potty Training, Constipation, Bedwetting and Preschool Policies (w/ Dr. Steven Hodges)
Pediatric urologist Dr. Steven Hodges joins Janet to address the most common questions parents have about children’s urinary and bowel problems. They discuss the physical and psychological reasons that challenges occur, what parents should look out for, and the practical steps we can take to both treat issues and prevent them from happening in the future.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.
Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com)
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When a Child’s Emotions Seem Fake and Manipulative
A parent feels drained by her 5-year-old's extreme emotional reactions to even the most minor disappointments. While she and her husband encourage both their children to express all their feelings, their son has recently begun "to jump to a level 100 in tears the instant he gets frustrated or isn't given what he wants." His sobbing, screaming, and complaints that he's sad or hurt in these situations seem false and manipulative. This parent is wondering how to approach her son's “mock emotion” while still communicating to him that his feelings are valid.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.
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Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com)
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Water Safety, Bodily Autonomy, and Emotional Health
A parent is concerned and torn about her 18-month-old daughter's swim lessons, because the toddler cries the entire time. This mom says: “I struggle with giving her bodily autonomy and respect while forcing her to take swim classes for her safety.” She is hoping Janet can help her reconcile her conflicted feelings.
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Our Expectations Can Make Us Feel Like Failures
Janet consults with a parent who says she feels utterly exasperated by her two young boys’ difficult behaviors. While she has a clear image of the kind of gentle, empathetic parent she wants to be, she says she loses her patience more often than not, and at the end of the day feels like a failure. “I’m so tired of the chaos in my home,” she writes, “that exists even on my best parenting days, even when I’m 'doing it right'.” Janet and this mom discuss the possible reasons for her sons’ behaviors and some possible solutions to modify the family dynamic.
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Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com)
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The Truth About Secure Attachment (with Bethany Saltman)
Bethany Saltman’s fascinating new book “Strange Situation: A Mother’s Journey into the Science of Attachment” recounts her personal, 10-year journey investigating the scientific theory of attachment. As a new mother, Bethany was afraid she simply “wasn’t enough” for her baby. Eventually, through intensive research and self-examination, she realized that everything she had read and thought she knew about secure attachment was wrong. Her message to parents is: “Get connected to your own heart, and bring your kid along for the ride.”
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My Child Says No to Everything
A parent is stumped that her almost 4-year-old says ‘no’ to everything -- daily transitions like going to or from school, attending a birthday party, even receiving a gift. “Sometimes it is as simple as an emphatic no,” she writes. “And sometimes this increases to more of a tantrum with crying and lots of no, no, no.” While she acknowledges and describes some dramatic upheavals in their household over the past two years, she is confused by her son’s behavior and wonders if Janet has any suggestions how to deal with it.
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Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com)
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Pandemic Parenting - Will the Kids Be Okay Socially?
A parent shares understandable concerns about the effects of social distancing and isolation on her toddler's social development. Janet replies with reassuring observations about how children develop social intelligence and offers 5 tips for nurturing social-emotional health through this difficult time.
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Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com)
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Reparenting Ourselves to Break Intergenerational Cycles (with Leslie Priscilla Arreola-Hillebrand)
Leslie Priscilla Arreola-Hillebrand, founder of Latinx Parenting, joins Janet to discuss how the challenges parents face as products of our upbringing can make respectful, non-punitive parenting more difficult to achieve. Leslie shares how her experiences as an early childhood professional started her on a journey of self-reflection and healing, which then inspired her to create trauma informed programs to support others to learn to reparent their inner child, break intergenerational cycles, and become the parents they wish to be.
Leslie's website: http://latinxparenting.org. Her Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/latinxparenting/
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Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com)
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Why Toddlers Won't Share and What We Can Do
A parent writes that for the past few weeks her son’s 3-year-old playmate will not share his toys. He cries, “That’s mine… he can’t play with it,” tries to take the toys back, and often has meltdowns. While she says her boy doesn’t seem particularly fazed by the behavior, the other boy’s mother is distressed and confused about expectations she should set about sharing toys at home. The writer says: “For my part, I’d begun to feel a bit protective for my son, while at the same time understanding that possessiveness is common and expected in children their age.” Since these two boys have been playing together exclusively during the pandemic, the parents want their interactions to be positive. Both parents are anxious to know what’s appropriate in terms of limits, expectations. and interventions and would like Janet’s advice.
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Healing a Child's Anger (a Powerful Success Story)
Janet shares a parent’s dramatic story recounting how she overcame her fear and doubt to allow her 6-year-old to express explosive emotions. In a wonderfully detailed e-mail to Janet, this mom describes a feeling of distance from her son and the respectful – albeit difficult, loud and sometimes scary – steps she took to welcome his “messy and uncomfortable” feelings and let them play out. In retrospect, she says she now understands what it means to trust her child’s feelings and recognizes that “this is what really deep emotional healing looks like.”
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.
Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com)
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How to Help Your Child Engage More Successfully with Peers
A parent consults with Janet about her son's struggles to interact socially with other kids. She feels he has no real friends and offers several examples where her son’s behavior becomes aggressive and unwelcome by playmates. He then becomes “sad and frustrated.” She writes: “As a mom, my heart breaks because I see him struggle to make a best friend. It seems like the kids at preschool click with at least one other person really well, and I just don’t feel like he does.” This mom says she feels stuck and confused and is hoping Janet can offer a way to help her son.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.
Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com)
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My Daughters Weigh In on Respectful Parenting (with Charlotte and Madeline)
Janet’s daughters share candid memories from their childhoods and consider how Janet's respectful parenting style has influenced their lives as toddlers, teens, and young adults. Using questions submitted to Janet's Facebook page as their guide, the sisters discuss intrinsic motivation, emotional health, independent play, sibling relationships, screen time and more.
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Embracing Our Power to Be Confident Leaders (a Pep-Talk for Parents)
Janet shares what she describes as her most valuable advice for parents -- a mindset that brings clarity to our role in our children's lives, makes our job more enjoyable and successful, and may even offer us personal growth. Janet explains why and how this perspective works, offers practical examples, and touches on some of the common issues that can get in our way. As parents, we tend to question ourselves: are we doing this parenting thing right, or are we failing? Janet's message is to afford ourselves the same trust and grace we hope to give to our children, to fully believe that we can do this!
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What Parents Need to Know About Anxiety (with Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart)
Pediatric psychologist Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart joins Janet to discuss the common concerns parents have about anxiety in children. Dr. Lockhart explains how we can distinguish anxiety from normal childhood feelings of fear and worry. She also shares steps parents can take to alleviate anxiety and prevent it from becoming an issue.
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The Best Way to Encourage Toddler Manners
A parent is concerned that her 2.5-year-old won’t say hello or goodbye to adults, including people he’s familiar with like neighbors and teachers. This mom says that she's tried to encourage her son's manners through modeling. She also once coaxed him to say goodbye to his teacher, but he refused. Since that time, he's become even more resistant and sometimes yells at people not to talk to him. At this point, she says, “It would even be fine if he ignored people" rather than yelling. She’s hoping Janet has some insight into what’s going on with her son and how she can help him get in the habit of politely greeting adults.
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Helping Children Thrive in Preschool - What Parents and Teachers Can Do (with Mr. Chazz)
Early childhood education specialist Mr. Chazz joins Janet to discuss the common challenges children face in preschool. Chazz is the current Educational Supervisor of 9 preschools, a passionate teacher who has interacted with thousands of children, and an inspiring coach for both parents and teachers. He shares strategies for effectively addressing behavior issues and offer insights for parents and teachers to create nurturing learning environments that will set our kids up for success.
Mr. Chazz is available for parent coaching and can be found at: http://www.Patreon.com/MrChazz. His podcast is "Mr. Chazz’s Leadership, Parenting and Teaching Podcast." He's also on: Instagram - Mrchazz Tiktok - Mrchazzmrchazz Facebook - MrChazz MrChazz
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.
Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books.
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Meltdowns at Bedtime (or Anytime)
Confused and dismayed, a parent asks Janet for help with a bedtime pattern that has developed with her 3-year-old. Her daughter keeps changing her mind about being tucked in. Unable to please her child either way, this mom leaves the room, which causes her daughter to explode. Upset by the outburst of emotion, she soon returns. “As soon as I go back she calms down, gets in bed, and lets me tuck her in and leave the room without a fuss.” This mom is worried that she is encouraging her daughter to use a tantrum to prolong bedtime and wonders if Janet has suggestions for shifting this pattern into a happier bedtime routine.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible.
Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
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Why Bribes and Threats Aren't Helpful (and What to Do Instead)
A parent wants to get out of a cycle of bribing her 3.5-year old and writes to Janet for help. “It seems that in order to get him to do anything, I have to offer a reward, treat, or special outing.” If these strategies don’t work, she says, she will threaten to take something away. This mom admits that she is a people pleaser, so when she does set a boundary, she feels guilty about it. She worries that she’s teaching this to her son. “I don’t want him to feel guilty about his feelings or his boundaries.”
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
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Don't Miss the Secrets Your Children Share
In response to a parent's question about her toddler's aggressive impulses toward her newborn sister, Janet suggests strategies for encouraging our children -- beginning in infancy-- to communicate their innermost thoughts, feelings and needs. This parent and her husband have followed Janet’s advice on siblings and believe they are “doing a decent job supporting them both – keeping our baby safe while acknowledging our toddler’s feelings.” And when their toddler acts aggressively, both parents are diligent about being present, calm, and physically intervening “without judgment or fanfare.” A few times a week, however, when the toddler is alone with her mom, she will calmly say things like, “When H gets bigger, I’m going to knock her down,” or other imagined acts of aggression. This mom wonders why her daughter is telling these stories – whether she’s asking for help, or if it’s something else.
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When Kids Say Shocking or Rude Things – What’s a Parent To Do?
A parent is distressed that his son says he doesn’t like, or is afraid of Black people, a sentiment that is abhorrent to him. "Worst of all," the dad writes, "he will say this when he sees Black neighbors." The dad realizes that his strong reactions may be making matters worse, but his son's statements are striking a particularly sensitive nerve. "If this were literally anything else I would just minimize my responses to it and acknowledge the feeling.” This parent feels at a loss and is hoping Janet has a solution. "This is absolutely the biggest parenting challenge I have faced."
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Sibling Strife - When Your Child Keeps Hating On Her Little Brother
A parent writes that her 5-year-old has never recovered from the arrival of her younger brother (now 3.5 yrs). “Since he was born, she has subjected him to physical violence and verbal taunting.” She describes her daughter as bright and strong-willed, and her son as gentle, loving and forgiving. She says she has tried everything to help her daughter manage her emotions more appropriately, including psychologists, but the behavior persists no matter what she says or does. “It breaks my heart.” She believes both her children are in pain and she’s looking to Janet for advice and perhaps some strategies she hasn’t tried.
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Calming Our Reactivity to Children's Irritating, Demanding Behaviors
A parent writes that she’s overwhelmed by her two girls constantly demanding her attention, following her around their home and calling “Mommy! Mommy!” even if they are in the same room. “It’s driving me mad,” she writes. “It’s like a dripping tap. It is getting to the point where I just want to scream.” This mom notices that the girls don’t have this dynamic with their father. In fact, even if he is sitting beside them and she is in another room, they still call to her. Understandably, she feels drained and wonders if Janet can tell her what she’s doing wrong.
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Abuse Prevention Strategies to Keep Our Kids Safe (with Rosalia Rivera)
Rosalia Rivera, an abuse prevention specialist and consent educator, joins Janet to outline how parents and caregivers can help prevent sexual abuse by educating the children in their lives about body safety, boundaries and consent. Rosalia is the mother of three young children and is herself a child sexual abuse survivor. She hosts the podcast “AboutConsent” and is the founder of Consent Parenting, an online platform that offers courses, workshops, a support group, and a plan of action for parents to protect their children.
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3 Hints for Parents Working at Home
Two families reach out to Janet for help because they are struggling to get work done at home. Separating from their young children causes whining, crying and tantrums, which in turn interrupts and frustrates the parents. One parent writes: ”My son has significant tantrums about why daddy has to work… I really can’t take the tantrums anymore every time he sees or hears him.” With so many parents at home these days trying to navigate this dynamic, Janet offers 3 suggestions for how they can communicate respectfully with their children and help to establish boundaries.
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Engaging in Your Child's Play Without Interrupting
A parent hopes to encourage her 21-month old’s self-directed play by sitting with her in her play area observing, “ready to respond if she engages with me.” Lately, she says, her daughter has been asking for help with tasks she can do by herself, and also actively directing both she and her husband to perform various roles. “She wants us to play, and she will watch.” This mom feels this dynamic may be stifling self-direction, so she’s wondering if Janet has any suggestions how she can encourage her daughter’s play without participating.
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The Power of Bias and How to Disrupt It in Our Children (with Dr. Jennifer Eberhardt)
Dr. Jennifer Eberhart, author of the best-selling book “Biased: Uncovering the Hidden Prejudice That Shapes What We See, Think, and Do,” joins Janet to discuss how racial bias develops in the brain and creates disparities in our neighborhoods, schools, workplaces, and the criminal justice system. As the mother of three sons, Jennifer has also witnessed the effects of bias in real time. She and Janet explore some of the steps parents can take to combat the development of bias in their children. "Preschoolers are picking this up and determining who's a good person, who's a bad person… They need our help in comprehending what's going on around them and helping them to make sense of it."
Jennifer is a Stanford University professor and a faculty director of SPARQ , a university initiative to use social psychological research to address pressing social problems. She has been named a MacArthur Fellow, one of “Foreign Policy”’s 100 Leading Global Thinkers, and elected to both the American Academy of Arts and Sciences and the National Academy of Sciences.
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How to Make No Mean No
A frustrated parent writes that her almost 7-year-old will not accept no for an answer. When she wants something, she will whine and ask repeatedly to get her way. Her daughter is so relentless that this mom eventually loses her patience. She ends up screaming, and her daughter ends up crying. “I must be addressing the situation wrong at the first ask,” she admits. “I just don’t understand how she doesn’t get no means no.” This mom is hoping Janet can help her end this constant battle with her daughter.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
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It's Not Regression
A parent describes the stress her family has been experiencing over the past several months and believes her 4.5 year old son has been particularly affected. “He was in Montessori and becoming very independent. Little by little, we’ve seen a huge regression in his behavior.” She describes a number of issues where she sees her son regressing, including hitting, kicking and throwing things; disrespecting her body with unwanted touching; and an unwillingness to wipe himself after using the toilet. This last issue recently caused a physical altercation which this mom truly regrets. She wants to know how to encourage her son’s developing independence “without resorting to negative and hurtful parenting tactics.” Janet offers her advice.
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Raising Anti-Racist Children - A Holistic Approach (with Kristen Coggins)
Kristen Coggins is a respiratory therapist, a positive discipline educator, a mom, and a Black woman, so she is very much in the eye of the current storm with a first-person perspective of the history unfolding around us. Krissy and Janet discuss the positive steps parents can take right now toward raising empathetic, anti-racist children, starting with the hard work of self-reflection with compassion. As Krissy writes: “Being able to appreciate the full humanity of another person is fostered in how well you see yourself and how well you see your children. Do you treat them like whole people with their own thoughts, feelings and desires? Everything is cyclical.”
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How Self-Care and Boundaries Work Together
A stressed parent’s email prompted Janet to offer a phone consultation to address some of the common issues facing many parents who are now working at home. This mom says in her email that she has tried (and failed) to provide structure to the day to include uninterrupted one-on-one time with each child, periods where both she and her husband can concentrate on their work, and attempts at self-care. But it hasn’t worked. She also feels envious of parents who say that they are enjoying or even savoring this time at home with their kids, because “between working, caring for the kids, feeding my family, keeping the house, and managing our anxiety… my husband and I have never felt busier.”
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Is It Too Late to Set Limits with My Strong-Willed Child?
The parent of a 4-year-old who describes her child as strong-willed and social is concerned that she and her husband did not set boundaries early enough, and they are now paying for it. She admits that for most of her boy's young life she was reluctant to enforce boundaries so as not to upset him. Now when she tries to do so, his reaction is explosive. She asks how they can communicate with their son “without the hitting and kicking… Is it hopeless? Is it too late for him? Is it too late for us?”
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Stop Worrying About Your Preschooler's Education (with Teacher Tom)
Janet welcomes early childhood educator Tom (“Teacher Tom”) Hobson who shares his optimism and insights about our children’s abilities to learn, grow and flourish outside of a classroom setting. Both Tom and Janet have always asserted that the most valuable education a preschooler receives is organic and self-motivated. They believe that time spent interacting authentically with parents is always precious and can become the most memorable and positive experiences in our young children’s lives.
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Raising Emotional Intelligence and Resilience for a Meaningful Life (with Susan David)
Psychologist, author and TED Talk superstar Susan David joins Janet to discuss how parents can nurture their children’s capacity to process difficult emotions, thoughts, and experiences. “Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life,” she says, but we can help our children develop resilience and a capability to navigate uncomfortable emotions so they're no longer scary. Susan offers advice how parents can instill confidence and a sense of well-being. The process begins with awareness, acceptance, and compassion for ourselves.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible.
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Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
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5 Ways Parents Can Make Their Lives Easier Right Now
Even in the best of times, caring for children is a balancing act that is never mastered. The ground shifts constantly, and we adapt accordingly, doing our very best to provide care, love, support and encouragement within the daily rhythms of our lives. Our children are acutely aware of change or disruption, and they look to us for stability and leadership. In fact, they insist upon it. If we falter, they’ll reflect it in their behaviors. That’s a lot of pressure! In this episode, Janet offers five suggestions parents can use to help maintain their balance with confidence and grace.
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Repeating Yourself Won't Help (What to Do Instead)
“Life in lockdown” is heightening a parent's struggles with her 3-year-old's uncooperative, defiant behavior, and this mom's patience is wearing thin. When she tries to correct her daughter’s behavior, or if she asks for her cooperation with calm and reason, she ends up repeating herself again and again and raising her voice. This escalation makes her feel exhausted, guilty and like a failure. She writes: “I lost my confidence as a parent somewhere, and I need to get it together, but I don’t know where to begin.” She wonders if Janet can suggest any changes in her parenting approach.
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Helping Parent-Child Relationships Thrive During Long Separations and Transitions
Janet consults with a military mom of a 3-year old daughter who is trying to decide whether to accept a lengthy deployment. She wants to understand the effects it may have on her daughter and steps she can take to maintain their strong relationship. Her husband is also active-duty and travels regularly, but he is about to be deployed for several months, so she’s hoping Janet has some suggestions how to manage this extended separation as well as the transition when he comes back into their daughter’s life.
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Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
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Kickstarting Your Child's Learning and Play at Home (with Lisa Griffen-Murphy)
Acclaimed early childhood educator and play-master Lisa Griffen-Murphy joins Janet to encourage parents to release themselves from the pressure of making play and learning happen for their kids. Lisa shares from her vast experience facilitating children's play in every environment imaginable. She offers specific, open-ended ideas for inspiring learning through play and assures parents that their kids know instinctively what they’re doing.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.
Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
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Parenting in Anxious Times (with Susan Stiffelman, MFT)
In these rapidly changing, unsettling times, as families are hunkering down and lives are put on hold, Janet is joined by author and therapist Susan Stiffelman to answer a parent’s concerns about discussing current events with her 4-year old. She describes her daughter as inquisitive, sensitive, and a child who tends to ask a lot of questions, and she wants to be as honest as possible without alarming her. “I want to use language that is appropriate and that she can understand, but also have it in the back of my mind she tends to be anxious and worry about things.”
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Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
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How to Help a Strong-Willed Child Listen (Without Wounding His Spirit)
A parent describes her 4-year-old son as energetic, independent and strong-willed. While she appreciates her son’s enthusiasm, she struggles to reign him in and finds herself yelling, "You're not listening!" She says they often take nature walks with friends and he inevitably runs ahead at an unsafe distance. She feels overwhelmed, especially when they are out with other parents “that have high expectations for behavior." She hopes Janet can offer a way to help her son listen, but “without killing his free spirit.”
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Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
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Anger, Sadness, Fear: Showing Our Emotions to Our Kids
Is it okay to show emotion to our kids? Is it helpful? Too unsettling? A parent has questions for Janet about modeling self-regulation and healthy emotional expression to children. She writes: “These feel like life skills that are harder to explain to your child but can be shown in practice.” So, this mom wants to be authentic, but she also wonders if exposing her own human vulnerabilities through crying or anger would be too disturbing. "I would really value your thoughts to help unravel this contradiction in my mind."
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.
Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books.
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What Children Really Need to Succeed in School... and Life (with Rick Ackerly)
Nationally recognized educator and author Rick Ackerly joins Janet to discuss how parents can foster an environment that helps children thrive in school and in life. Like Janet, Rick’s own experience and interactions with thousands of kids have proven to him that children learn best in their own time, and in their own surprising ways. Rick and Janet discuss how parents can reduce their own anxieties about what and how quickly their children are learning and ultimately enjoy and appreciate them more.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.
Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
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What to Do About Your Clinging Child
A parent shares that she is frustrated and exhausted by her son’s clingy behavior. She describes a typical evening arriving home from work to find her boy waiting by the door, insisting she drop everything to sit down and play with him. If she tries to use the restroom, put some things away or eat dinner, this often causes a tantrum with her son pulling at her hands or clothing to go back and play. This parent says both she and her partner work full time and wonders if that may be causing the severe clinginess.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.
Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
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The Most Helpful Response When Your Child Gets Hurt (4 Guidelines)
Janet offers basic guidelines for responding mindfully when children get hurt, whether by accident or as the result of another child's behavior. She also addresses the specifics in a parent's note about her son's emotional responses to getting pushed or hit when she isn't close enough to prevent it. She says he seems "shocked" but fine, but he falls apart when adults surround him and express their urgent concern. “I can tell that it’s the reactions from the adults that has really upset and scared him.” While she hopes to prevent future events like this from happening in the first place, she knows that won’t always be possible, and she wonders how Janet would advise calming her son in the aftermath.
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Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books.
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My Kids Seem Ungrateful and Entitled
Janet responds to a Facebook post from a parent who shares her personal dismay “at what children across the globe suffer and what they go without,” and she is distraught by her own children's apparent lack of gratitude and humility. While this mom admits her current mood may be the result of “post-Christmas blues,” she wants to instill these positive, empathetic traits in her own children. “How do you model this?” she asks. “I want to do better.”
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Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
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No Bad Kids: Questions About Tantrums, Mealtimes, and Cleaning Up
After reading Janet’s book “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame,” a parent has some practical follow-up questions about his daughter’s behaviors; specifically in regard to tantrums, mealtime boundaries, and cooperation in cleaning up her messes. This dad says there are certain “values/etiquette” he would like his daughter to learn, but he realizes these qualities must evolve organically and can’t be coerced. He describes his own upbringing as disciplinarian, and he doesn’t want to expose his kids “to the same feelings of shame and mistrust.”
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Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
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The Securely Attached Child and How to Handle Disrespectful Behavior (with Dr. Tina Payne Bryson)
Dr. Tina Payne Bryson joins Janet to discuss what children need most from the adults in their lives to feel securely attached, self-confident, and happy. Tina outlines the truths that scientific research and her own experience show, and then using the parenting tools she describes in her new book “The Power of Showing Up,” she and Janet address an email from a parent who’s concerned about her two-year-old daughter’s disrespectful tone of voice.
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Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
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Teaching a Child to Control His Feelings
A parent writes that her toddler is very aware of his emotions and even has several strategies to cope with the negative ones. One of these strategies is going to his room by himself. While this mom is “happy that he is aware of his emotions and (usually) redirects them before causing harm or throwing a full-blown tantrum,” she struggles with how long to let him isolate. She worries she may be encouraging him to mope or empowering his sour attitude. “I wonder if we should be more assertive in having him try alternative strategies.” Janet offers her perspective and advice.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.
Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
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Resolving a Toddler’s Aggressive Behavior (Hitting, Pushing, Hair Pulling)
Janet responds to the parent of a 2-year-old who for the past 3 months has been “going through a really bad stage of pulling hair.” This parent describes herself as a Montessori teacher with an intense passion for gentle, respectful parenting. She has tried several strategies to change her daughter’s behavior, but to no avail. “I’m exhausted and have become extremely depressed and isolated because of this. I feel parents are judging me and not wanting to spend time with us.” She’s hoping Janet can offer some guidance, hopefully a solution.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
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Traveling with Babies, Toddlers, Preschoolers (8 Tips)
Janet shares ideas for traveling with small children that help us tune in to their perspectives, deepen our parent-child connection, and create a more joyful experience for all.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible -- FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.
Paperbacks are also available at Amazon. E-Books are sold through Amazon, Apple Books, Google Play, and Barnes & Noble.
Janet's audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
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Boys Do Cry and They Need To (with Maggie Dent)
Janet welcomes back best-selling author Maggie Dent to discuss some of the particular challenges parents face in their quest to raise emotionally healthy children. "We need to let our girls know they can be strong and feisty and it's okay, and we need to know that there are times when our boys need to be vulnerable and sad, and that also needs to be okay." As we navigate our children’s moods and behaviors, Maggie believes that messy, even chaotic moments are normal in learning the dance that is parenting, and it is in these difficult times that we all grow. “It was never a perfect art form,” she says. “You're not a bad parent or a lousy parent. This is what parenting is.”
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.
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Janet's holiday recommendations for books and gifts for children are available on her website here: https://cutt.ly/ne907MI
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Lying, Stealing, Hoarding
In response to a parent’s question about her 4-year-old’s habit of appropriating toys and clothing that don’t belong to her, Janet illuminates the underlying causes for some other troubling -- but common -- childhood behaviors. This mom writes that she has tried to explain to her daughter why the behavior is wrong and has been hoping that she will outgrow it, but it has only gotten worse. “I know it’s not about the things,” she writes. “She rarely cares about the thing once she’s brought it home.” This mom believes there must be underlying feelings motivating the behavior, but she doesn’t know what they are, so she’s hoping Janet can offer some insight.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.
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Our Biggest Challenge as Parents
A parent understands and supports Janet’s advice about accepting and holding space for her kids’ feelings, but she struggles to put it into practice. She describes herself as a highly verbal person and finds herself uncomfortable remaining silent in these moments. And often, when she does acknowledge her 5-year-old’s feelings, her child just gets more upset. This mom is seeking “some concrete examples of what acknowledging and allowing feelings actually looks like when my kids are expressing big feelings.”
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.
Paperbacks and e-books are available at Amazon.
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Faced with Troubling Behavior - Now What? (with Susan Stiffelman and Maggie Dent)
3 experts – 1 microphone… Janet is joined in a lively discussion by family counselor Susan Stiffelman and best-selling parenting author Maggie Dent. Together they explore some of the common issues affecting our children’s behaviors and offer steps parents can take to understand and address them. How do we respond when our child’s behavior seems problematic? Is it a reflection on us? And how do we communicate with our child to untangle what’s really going on and address the root cause?
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.
Paperbacks and e-books are available at Amazon.
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4-Year-Old Seems Fixated on Dark, Negative Scenarios
A parent is perplexed that her 4-year-old continually engages her in made up stories where the protagonist is in physical danger, sick, “does a bad thing,” is mean, or had to call the police. While this mom believes her child's interests are generally innocent, they've continued relentlessly for 6 months and she's becoming exasperated. “Is this normal exploration?” she wonders. “How do we handle it?”
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.
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The Real Reasons for Your Child's Behavior (A Science-Based Approach with Dr. Mona Delahooke)
In this episode: Janet welcomes Dr. Mona Delahooke, a pediatric psychologist who works with children and teens with behavioral challenges and developmental differences. Mona’s compassionate approach to therapy is based on brain science. She describes disruptive behaviors as “just the tip of the iceberg,” important signals a child may be sending that are symptoms of an underlying issue. This is common ground for Janet, as she has long held that many behaviors which parents deem negative are rarely motivated, intentional, or consciously anti-social. They are, in fact, reflections of a dysregulated emotional state which needs to be acknowledged.
Mona’s new book is available on Amazon: “Beyond Behaviors: Using Brain Science and Compassion to Understand and Solve Children's Behavioral Challenges.”
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.
Paperbacks and e-books are available at Amazon.
Also, Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
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Be Careful What You Teach (It Might Interfere with What They Are Learning)
Janet responds to a question from a caregiver who says the family she works for is interested in teaching their son ABCs and other lessons. The child is sometimes disinterested and refuses to participate, and she wonders: “Is there a respectful approach to teaching children?” Janet responds with an alternative perspective on early childhood learning that focuses on providing the best foundation possible for children to develop their innate abilities and a lifelong love of learning.
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When It's Difficult to Physically Stop the Behavior
Janet addresses two emails with the same theme. Both questions concern two-year-olds who exhibit challenging behaviors when their parents are physically unable to intervene. One mom writes about her son's toy throwing: “He sees that I’m nursing the baby, or that my hands are full with dinner, and he’s frustrated that he doesn’t have my attention.” The other mom says that she has physical challenges: “And of course my smart kid has figured out that it’s easy to lash out on days when I am physically unable to deal.” These moms are wondering what words to use and how to address behavior when they can't be as hands-on as they need to be.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.
Paperbacks and e-books are available at Amazon.
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The Way We Praise Matters
A parent wonders if the praise her children are receiving is unproductive and could make them feel pressured to "meet the expectations of whatever a compliment implies.” While this mom acknowledges she’s dealing in subtleties, she’s wondering if Janet has any insights.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.
Paperbacks and e-books are available at Amazon.
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Your Child's Erratic, Disruptive Behavior
A parent describes her 3-year-old as a firecracker. “He is full of life and joy and attitude!” While she appreciates his energy, there are times when he gets too wound up and is no longer “in himself.” He often becomes overly physical with his 17-month-old brother and even hits adults. She says when he’s in this zone, words have no effect, and she feels the only way to deal with him by putting him in his room. This mum’s wondering if she’s doing the right thing or if Janet might have some other suggestions.
Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at JanetLansbury.com and NoBadKidsCourse.com.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.
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Learning Through Social Struggles with Our Support
A parent wants to give her toddler the freedom to work out struggles with other kids, but because of their busy urban environment, parent and child tend to be in close quarters. She says of her son and his playmates: “They look right at us expecting, needing, wanting our help.” To this mom, it seems the children believe their parents are “purposefully watching them struggle and kind of laughing at them by not helping.” She’s wondering how it’s possible to allow the struggle while still assuring her toddler that he’s being supported.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.
Paperbacks and e-books are available at Amazon.
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Losing It - Understanding What Makes Us Snap (With Elisabeth Corey)
Janet is joined by trauma recovery expert Elisabeth Corey to answer a parent’s email about her struggles to become a respectful parent. This mom says certain behaviors of her 2.5-year old daughter set her off. “I don’t stay calm, focused, kind to my child.” And she believes her own upbringing (“in no way respectful”) is the root cause of her reactions. She is overwhelmed by the responsibility of raising her child and wants to know: “What can I do to help myself?” Janet and Elisabeth consider the common underlying issues of our own childhoods and how we can recognize and heal negative cycles to become better parents.
Elisabeth's work and free resources for parents are available on her site at: www.BeatingTrauma.com
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are available at Amazon. Also, her exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Drowning in Chaos (4 Parenting Lifelines)
A parent writes that she’s overwhelmed since the arrival of her third child. While she used to manage a reasonable schedule that allowed for chores, self-care, and one-on-one time with her kids, now the older ones whine and scream and demand her attention. Any semblance of order in her day “has completely gone out the window.” She says her household is in chaos, her kids are miserable, and that she’s simply burnt out. “I don’t enjoy being a mom right now.” She’s hoping Janet has some suggestions how to get through this very difficult period.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Paperbacks and e-books are available at Amazon. Also, her exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
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Dear Parent: You Are Not Failing
A mom is at her wit's end and describes a series of challenging family separations and transitions, including the birth of a sibling. Now one of her twins yells and screams from morning until night. The other twin is defiant and “is always telling me ‘no’ and doing things he knows he’s not supposed to be doing.” This mom says their behavior is so extreme she spends most of the day in tears and then ends up yelling. She’s looking for Janet’s advice how she might deal with her twins’ behavior.
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Seriously Bugged by Bugs: Working with Your Child to Overcome Fears
A parent writes that her 3-year-old has developed a phobic response to bugs and is withdrawing from activities she’s always loved because of the fear. This mom and her husband have tried several strategies to help their daughter including acknowledging her fear, but to no avail. They’re out of ideas and assume they’re doing something wrong. “I want to show her we love and respect her emotions but also help her work through it.”
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio, FREE with a 30-day trial membership at Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
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3 Steps To Help Children Dress Independently
A mom realizes that she and her husband have been helping their 3-year-old to get dressed by actually doing it for him. Recently they’ve taken a step back to allow “ample time for him to do what he can independently,” but he either gives up quickly and demands help, or if they’re patient, he might take an hour to put on his pants. This mom feels they might be missing something that would encourage him to develop these skills.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio, FREE with a 30-day trial membership at Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
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When Your Child Is Unkind (She Needs Your Help)
Janet responds to the parent of two kids who overheard her 4.5 year old taunting another child in the park and wasn’t sure how to react to that sort of unkind behavior. On the one hand, she didn’t want to impose judgement on her daughter by scolding and lecturing. On the other, “I want to help coach her on being kind and a good human being." She's unsure of what to do to help foster these traits and is asking Janet for clarification.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio, FREE with a 30-day trial membership at Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
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Parent Feels Abused By Her Children's Verbal Outbursts
Janet responds to a parent who says her kids scream at her, shout orders, complain about their lives, and call her a “rubbish mum.” While she acknowledges her former partner’s emotionally abusive behavior is probably a factor in their behavior, and she believes her kids should express their emotions fully, she’s fed up. “How much abuse and screaming am I supposed to put up with before I stop acknowledging, stop empathizing, and say enough is enough?”
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio, FREE with a 30-day trial membership at Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
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Respectful Care is Less Tiring and Stressful
Janet responds to a pregnant mom in her first trimester trying to parent her active young son while suffering from nausea, headaches, and exhaustion. She writes that she often feels unmercifully tired, and she struggles “to offer the calm, respectful care I ought to provide.” She’s hoping Janet has suggestions how to parent with patience and respect even when she’s feeling exhausted.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio, FREE with a 30-day trial membership at Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
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Extreme Favoritism Toward One Parent
Janet responds to a mom who says her 2-year-old has an extreme case of “parental favoritism.” When she’s not home, father and daughter enjoy a wonderful relationship. But if she’s nearby, her daughter “refuses to allow my husband to help, comfort, even exist.” She writes: “We are completely befuddled, and as you can imagine, my husband is just crushed.” They’re both wondering why their daughter behaves this way and how they might address it.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio, FREE with a 30-day trial membership at Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
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Should We Give a Screaming Toddler What He Wants?
Janet responds to the parent of a toddler who says her son “cries, whines, and screams for everything he wants or needs.” She’s not sure how to respond. Sometimes she tries to calm him down, which tends to makes things worse, and sometimes she just gives in. She wants to set boundaries but doesn’t know how to do it in a way that he will understand without setting off a tantrum. This mom feels she’s in a no-win situation and would like Janet's advice about how she should react to his loud, emphatic requests.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio.
Also, her exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
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5 Best Ways to Communicate Respectful Parenting (to Friends, Relatives, and Strangers)
Janet offers solutions for handling the disconnect parents sometimes feel with friends, relatives or caregivers who aren’t familiar with their respectful parenting philosophy. How can we communicate our respectful care practices and advocate for our children while avoiding awkward social exchanges, misunderstandings or hurt feelings?
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio, FREE with a 30-day trial membership at Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
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How to Handle Boastful, Competitive Behavior
Janet responds to an email from a parent who feels her son is constantly competing to be “first, better, stronger.” She suspects that sometimes his hyper-competitiveness may hurt his friends’ feelings, and it makes her uncomfortable when she notices the reactions of parents and other kids. “I’m really struggling with how to respond to these situations,” she says. “I don’t want my child making others feel crappy about themselves.”
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Instead of No, No, No... (4 Tips for Keeping Your Baby Explorer Safe)
Janet responds to a parent who says she tries to create safe spaces for her 7-month-old to explore, but she spends a lot of time at her parents’ house and feels they’re always on edge, telling her daughter “no.” This mom wants to avoid “creating issues or desensitizing her to the word” and is hoping Janet has suggestions how to encourage her daughter’s curiosity while keeping her safe.
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Help! Our Child Keeps Interrupting and Demanding Attention
Janet responds to an e-mail from a parent who says her 4-year-old has lately become very demanding for attention. “She won’t let us talk with friends, family, or over the phone. It has to be about her all the time.” She is also being defiant, especially in public, and ends up crying when she doesn’t get her way. This mom feels her friends and family have cast her as a ‘bad mom’ and wants Janet’s advice about “how to stop this excessive attention seeking, defiant behavior.”
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio, FREE with a 30-day trial membership at Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
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Teaching Children to Respect Personal Boundaries by Asserting Our Own
A mom writes that her toddler weaned at 3 years old, but six months later he remains “obsessed with my breasts.” He pokes and squeezes and smushes his face into them. She has tried to give him the message that this is not okay while also trying to be understanding, but he’s getting rougher, and she’s had enough. “This is not fun.”
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio, FREE with a 30-day trial membership at Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
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How to Encourage Your Baby's Language Development
Janet offers feedback to a parent who’s having a disagreement with his spouse about how to respond to their 5-month-old's babbling, which includes "high-pitched coos and zerberts and yelps.” Both parents want to encourage their daughter's communication, and this dad exclaims, "We need a decider!"
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Bossy, Controlling and Emotional Over Random Things
Janet responds to a parent who writes that her 3-year-old son has very strong opinions about her appearance, especially hair and clothing choices. He gets furious when she puts her hair up in a ponytail or bun, and if she defies him, it leads to “epic tantrums and standoffs.” This mom realizes her son’s controlling attitude is probably part of a larger issue and points out, “He has zero opinions about what his dad wears.” She’s hoping Janet has some insight into this frustrating dynamic with her son.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio, FREE with a 30-day trial membership at Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
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Never Too Late to Become the Parent You Want To Be
Janet responds to an email from the parent of three kids (12, 9 and 3) who has just recently found "Unruffled". She writes: “Your methods and insights have been truly freeing and a paradigm shift in experience for me.” She realizes now that her parenting style has included shaming, inconsistencies, and a negative reaction to her kids’ emotions, and her middle child especially is struggling as a result. She feels guilty and is wondering how to make things right. “How can I help them after all the damage I have done?”
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.
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Responding to Your Sweet Toddler's Sudden Aggression
A parent writes that she and her 2-year-old son recently moved in with relatives to escape domestic violence. She describes her son as “a very sweet, empathetic boy,” and says that he has formed good relationships with his relatives. Lately, however, his behavior towards them has changed. “He will punch, hit, and bite” without warning and tells his mother that “he wants to make them sad.” She has tried to explain that this behavior isn't okay, and he agrees, but it inevitably happens again. She doesn’t know what to do and is looking to Janet for some advice.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio, FREE with a 30-day trial membership at Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
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Already Exhausted by a 15-Month-Old's Behavior
Janet responds to an email from a parent who’s struggling with how to start setting limits with her 15-month-old. She says she wants to “parent with respect, with a gentle approach and natural consequences,” but her daughter’s constant testing has her feeling exhausted. “And I know the hard stuff is only beginning!” This mom suspects she should have started establishing limits when her daughter was younger, but she’s hoping Janet has some strategies and advice on how to proceed now.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio, FREE with a 30-day trial membership at Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
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Stop Being a Captive to Your Children's Emotions
A mother of two (3 and 5 years old) writes that she became a parent “with every intention of validating my children’s emotions and teaching them emotional expression.” Now she feels that perhaps her good intentions have backfired, and that her children’s whining and crying aren’t always genuine but may instead be an act. She says, “It’s as if they play the dramatic role for me, but they can just as quickly shift out of it.” She’s wondering if Janet has any insight into this dynamic, and especially how she can improve it.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio, FREE with a 30-day trial membership at Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
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Concerned About a Child's Anxiety
Janet responds to a question from a parent who’s saddened that her 4-year-old is showing signs of general anxiety. “I’m seeing a pattern of scouting for danger instead of just letting loose and having fun,” she says. She also recognizes this tendency in herself. This mom is wondering if her daughter’s disposition is inherited or learned by modeling, and if there’s anything she could be doing differently.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio, FREE with a 30-day trial membership at Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
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Mothering Boys - Secrets to Understanding Our Sons (with Best-Selling Author Maggie Dent)
Janet speaks with author Maggie Dent about her newest book “Mothering Our Boys” in which she focuses on the common misconceptions we hold about boys and how these perceptions can negatively inform our attitudes and expectations. Maggie is a prolific parenting author and educator who advocates for a healthy, common sense approach to parenting. She is a passionate, positive voice for children of all ages, and her wisdom is an invaluable resource for parents, teachers, early educators and anyone seeking to improve their lives and relationships.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio, FREE with a 30-day trial membership at Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
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How and When to Prepare Your Child for a New Sibling (or Any Big Transition)
Janet responds to an email from a parent asking how to prepare her 3-year-old for an enormous transition, in this case the arrival of a new sibling. Since her daughter brushes off direct questions about her feelings, this mom has decided she can’t really grasp it yet, but she’s anticipating limits and patience testing. She wants to know: “Is there any way I can help her prepare and make this transition less drastic?”
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio, FREE with a 30-day trial membership at Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
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The Best Way to Deal with Intense Tantrums
Janet responds to an email from a parent who says she feels like a failure when dealing with her two-year-old’s tantrums. She writes: “We’ve been great at heading them off before they begin and recognizing why they’re happening, but we are completely at a loss what to do once we’re stuck with one.” She’s tried several different strategies without success.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio, FREE with a 30-day trial membership at Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
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My Daughter Wants To Look Like a Boy
Janet responds to a parent whose daughter decided at 4 years old that she didn’t like herself, chopped her hair short and switched out her wardrobe for boys’ clothes. While this mom has tried not to make a big issue of her daughter’s choices, now that she’s 6 years old she admits, “Deep down it bothers me that she seems to want to look like a boy.” She says she loves her daughter dearly and wants a great relationship with her. “How do I go about accepting who my daughter wants to be?”
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio, FREE with a 30-day trial membership at Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
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What Can I Do When I Find My Adorable Children Annoying?
Janet responds to an email from the exasperated mother of two boys who asks: “What do I do when I find my adorable children genuinely annoying?” She remembers a time when she was happy with them and enjoyed what felt like precious moments, but lately there’s been very little joy in her parenting experience, and she feels that their behavior is exacerbated by her attitude. “It breaks my heart,” she writes. She’s looking for tools to change her perspective.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio, FREE with a 30-day trial membership at Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
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Is It Ever Okay to Use Force with a Resistant Toddler?
Janet responds to a dad who’s feeling guilty for restraining his 3-year old daughter and forcibly brushing her teeth when she refused to do so herself. “I didn’t use hurtful force,” he writes, “but her protestations were so strong that I felt as if I was crossing a boundary.” This dad is wondering if there was another way he might have handled the situation.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio, FREE with a 30-day trial membership at Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
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How to Stop Arguing with Your Child
Janet responds to a Facebook message from a parent who describes her 6-year-old as argumentative and resistant, and she’s running out of patience. She says, “ I recognize that he is testing limits and trying to establish his voice and independence in the world,” but she has other kids and feels her son’s questioning takes up too much of her time. She wonders if she should be flexible with him, or if that approach will just intensify his relentless push-back.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio, FREE with a 30-day trial membership at Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
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5 Hints for Raising Twins That Will Help Every Parent
Janet responds to the parent of 8-month-old twins who says they are both very dependent on her, and she gets overwhelmed by her babies “complaining and crying at the same time.” Though she tries to respectfully acknowledge each twin, she worries that she isn’t being successful. The insight and advice Janet offers apply to all family situations, no matter how many children a parent is caring for.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio, FREE with a 30-day trial membership at Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
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Why Is My Child Ignoring Me?
A parent writes that her 3-year-old seems to intentionally ignore her when she asks him a question and she has to repeat herself several times. She doesn’t know if he’s misbehaving or if this is a result of his “hyper-focused personality,” and she says she sometimes loses her patience and shouts.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio, FREE with a 30-day trial membership at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
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Destructive Behavior - Why It Happens And What We Can Do
A parent writes that her 5-year-old scratched up her husband’s car with a rock, and the damage will cost thousands of dollars to repair. She and her husband are furious, of course, but they haven’t spoken to their son about the incident yet, and she’s wondering the best way to approach it. “We are both so mad,” she writes, “we don’t know what to do.”
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Her exclusive audio series "Sessions" is also available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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4 Reasons Children Seek Validation (And How to Respond)
A parent writes that her 5-year-old is constantly asking, “Did I do a good job?” and seeking her parents’ validation. This mom acknowledges that her daughter’s world was rocked when her sister was born almost two years ago, and they’ve been working at supporting her to process her feelings in that regard. Now, she says, although her daughter has “let go a lot of her anger... I can’t help but wonder if it’s the result of being insecure in her relationship with us after her sister was born."
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Her exclusive audio series "Sessions" is also available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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Can Imaginary Play Be Unhealthy?
The parent of a 5-year-old girl and 2.5-year-old boy describes their play as generally creative and happy, but she sometimes observes what she believes is “manipulative behavior and unkind talk during disagreements.” This mother is wondering if it’s appropriate to intervene and correct what she perceives as unhealthy behavior, or whether it’s just part of their personal and social development.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Her exclusive audio series "Sessions" is also available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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No Remorse for Aggressive Behavior
Janet responds to an email from a parent whose 6-year-old boy has been hitting and pinching his younger sister and others, and she’s alarmed because he shows no remorse for his behavior. She says that she has tried to get her boy to talk about his feelings, but “he just shuts down and won’t talk to me.” She’s wondering how she might foster empathy in her son as well as encourage him to share his feelings.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Her exclusive audio series "Sessions" is also available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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Exhausted by a Child's Whining and Crankiness
Janet responds to a question from a parent on her Facebook page whose 3-year-old is exhibiting what she describes as excessive emotional outbursts. “I’m trying to reassure myself that this is normal,” she writes. “It’s like we have to constantly walk on eggshells… I’d love some reassurance and guidance.”
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Her exclusive audio series "Sessions" is also available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
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Supporting A Child Who Has Differences
Janet responds to an email from a mom whose 3-year-old has a physical disorder. “Among other issues, he is very clumsy and often stumbles, trips, and falls.” Since this is going to be an ongoing issue for her son, and he’s just becoming aware of it, this mom is looking for ways to be supportive now and in the future.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Her exclusive audio series "Sessions" is also available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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Dad Feels Undermined and Defeated by Partner's Lack of Limits
Janet responds to an email from a stay-at-home parent who feels his efforts to establish and maintain boundaries during the day are undercut when his spouse returns home from work. He believes the daily struggles he has with their daughter “are partly or greatly exacerbated by my wife’s interactions with her…. I’m drained as a parent and feeling resentful towards my spouse for letting a stubborn 3.5-year-old have her way.”
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Her exclusive audio series "Sessions" is also available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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It's Really Okay to Say ‘No’ to Playing with Your Child (5 Reasons)
A parent writes that she’s struggling with her 5-year-old’s demands to play with her. This mom says that although she understands the theory of Janet’s parenting approach, she has difficulty putting it into practice in the moment, and she finds herself getting frustrated and being unkind. “She irritates me, and I feel absolutely terrible for admitting that!”
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Her exclusive audio series "Sessions" is also available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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Public Tantrums (Why They Happen and How to Avoid Them)
A parent writes that her 18-month-old “has been testing the limits with tantrums.” At home, this mom and her husband try to ignore the behavior or redirect. In public, however, they tend to give in to their daughter’s demands. She writes, “I’d hate for her to learn she gets her way by throwing fits.”
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's books on audio at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
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Impatience, Perfectionism, Fear of Failure
A parent describes her 6-year-old daughter as a perfectionist with no patience and a serious discomfort with feelings of failure. She says that all her well-intentioned efforts to calm, comfort, and coach only make things worse, so she wonders if Janet knows how she might help her daughter “face problems confidently on her own and foster a love of process.”
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Her exclusive audio series "Sessions" is also available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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A Toddler's Do-It-Myself Attitude Ends In Tantrums
A parent writes that her 2-year-old is deep in a "want to do it myself" phase. While she recognizes her son’s need for autonomy and self-sufficiency, she admits that she often runs out of patience, which results in him having a full-blown meltdown or tantrum. She’s wondering how she might “set limits so it doesn’t take forever to do things but also respect his need for independence.”
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ). Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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Raising Self-Directed Learners in Any School Environment (with Laura Grace Weldon)
Janet continues her conversation with Laura Grace Weldon, author of “Free Range Learning,” about how parents can facilitate their children’s natural instincts to discover and learn in a conventional school system. Laura and Janet share their personal experiences as parents and discuss what they’ve learned while parenting their own children through a variety of school choices.
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
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Recognizing the Cause of Disruptive, Aggressive Behavior
A parent writes that her 3-year old has been having difficulties in play school -- hitting other kids, screaming, and not listening to the teacher. The behavior sometimes continues at home, and this mom admits she “can’t manage to stay calm every time, so sometimes I yell too.” Her primary concern is that her boy won’t be accepted in playschool, and she’s looking for some advice how to address his behavior.
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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From Toddler to Teen – How Our Confident Leadership Fosters Resilience (with Susan Stiffelman)
Janet is joined by Susan Stiffelman in a lively conversation about setting limits, tantrums, what your children want versus what they need, emotional resilience, having compassion for yourself, and the positive effects your confident leadership has on children as they become teens and young adults. Susan is a best-selling parenting author (“Parenting with Presence,” “Parenting without Power Struggles”), a marriage, family, and child counselor, educational therapist, parent educator, and professional speaker.
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
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Adventures in Free Range Learning with Laura Grace Weldon
Janet speaks with pioneering homeschool practitioner and advocate Laura Grace Weldon, author of the best-selling book Free Range Learning – How Homeschooling Changes Everything. Laura’s experiences capture the essence of how children learn best and gain competence, self-confidence, maturity, and wisdom. She and Janet find common ground in their respect for the natural learning process of every child.
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible.
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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Getting Dressed Is a Daily Struggle
Janet answers an email from a parent whose 3-year-old is having difficulty with transitions, especially getting dressed in the morning for pre-school. She’s tried several different approaches, but without success, and every morning ends in a struggle. She writes: “I feel like we are stuck in this weekday morning drama and don’t know what to do differently. Please help!” For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ). Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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Can You Trust Your Child's Social Instincts? Or is She a Bully?
A parent who describes her 3-year-old as “bright and spirited… a sweet girl” has noticed lately in certain social situations that her daughter will flatly reject friendly overtures from peers. This makes the parent very uncomfortable, but she isn’t sure how or if to intervene. She writes, “I am so torn between accepting and trusting her and wanting to teach her to be nice to others.”
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible.
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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Not Easy to Cut Off Screen Time
A parent has noticed positive results from limiting her daughter’s TV time, and now she wants to remove all screens from her daily routine. “I’d really love some advice on how to go about this,” she writes, “and what to say when explaining why this change is happening.”
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible.
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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Children Hurting Themselves When They're Upset
Janet answers a question from a parent whose toddler resorts to hurting himself when he’s angry or frustrated, and she’s wondering if there are some “better options” to teach him when he’s expressing his emotions.
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible.
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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"My Toddler Doesn't Behave This Way with Anyone Else!"
Janet answers an email from a parent who feels her 16-month-old is more emotional and defiant with her than other caregivers. She cites diaper changes as a particularly stressful example of his acting out and wonders, “Is this a sign that I am doing something wrong, or that I am a safe person to share emotions with?”
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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How to Listen to Your Baby
A mother wonders when and how to react to her baby’s sounds of frustration, whether she should intervene in her child’s self-directed play sessions or observe from a distance. “I don’t want to be her savior,” she writes, “but I don’t want her to feel unsupported either.”
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
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"You're Not the Boss of Me!"
A mother writes that her child has started saying, “You’re not the boss of me!” when asked to help around the house. While both parents want their kids to feel that they are their own people, “at the end of the day, we do say what goes.” This mom is wondering how she can best respond.
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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My Child Won't Stop Hitting
A parent says she feels helpless because her 2-year-old has been hitting other kids. She says her son loves people and enjoys playing with others, but parents are now keeping their kids away from him. She has tried several approaches, but nothing has worked, so she’s looking to Janet for some fresh advice.
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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Getting Your Partner on the Same Page with Respectful Discipline
After reading Janet’s book, a mom is excited about the changes she’s made in her approach to setting limits and accepting her toddler’s emotions, but she’s concerned that her husband is not open to adjusting his parenting practices. She is hesitant to discuss it with him but wants “the harmony I feel to resonate through the three of us as a family.”
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible.
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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Age 4 Seems Like Another Planet
Janet responds to an email from a parent who describes herself as exhausted by her formerly good-natured toddler who has suddenly become defiant, argumentative, and combative since turning 4. She says, ”I feel like a switch has flipped… and am clueless how to deal with this new person.”
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
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Helping a Child Adjust to Two Households or Other Changes in Care
Janet responds to the step-parent of a three-and-a-half-year-old, who is concerned because the child's life is split between two households. She feels the situation “creates a very confusing climate for the child, who is already in an overwhelming development stage." The advice Janet offers applies to any situation where children need to transition to new schedules or different types of care, i.e. childcare or school, the care of relatives or professionals, or even travel or holidays that might disrupt a child's daily routine.
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible, and her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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Our Clingy Child Won't Let Us Leave
A parent describes the struggle she and her husband face with their 5-year-old when they try to go out together. Their boy cries and begs them not to leave, and though they’ve experimented with several approaches -- including “trying to be unruffled and say goodnight and leave swiftly” – none has worked. This mom says she finds the process exhausting and is hoping Janet has some suggestions.
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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Potty Struggles with a 4-Year-Old
The parent of a 4-year-old is concerned that her boy won't poop on the toilet and wonders what she can do to encourage him. She realizes that it’s a sensitive topic and she wants to respectfully help him “without adding to the issue.”
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible, and her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (info @ SessionsAudio.com).
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Concerns About a Sensitive Child in Social Situations
Janet responds to an email from the parent of a 2-year-old who says that when another child cries, her daughter joins in and becomes inconsolable, often continuing even after the other child has recovered. She’s wondering if this is “normal” and is anxious for some advice. She says they have some kids’ events coming up, “and I am dreading them.”
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible, and her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (info@SessionsAudio.com).
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Challenging Moments With Kids: How To Keep Your Cool (with Psychotherapist Tasha Lansbury)
Janet and her guest Tasha Lansbury, LICSW, consider the role of self-care and mindfulness as elements of easier, happier, more successful parenting. Tasha has been in private practice for over 3 decades and describes herself as “an enthusiastic psychotherapist and wide-eyed mother.” She believes mindfulness is a parenting essential and offers some simple tools to handle common stressful situations.
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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Demanding Behavior Makes Mom Shout and Scold
A mother of three kids writes that she’s irritated and confused by her six-and-a-half-year-old daughter’s constant demands for attention and her refusal to cooperate. She believes that her daughter is old enough to comply with simple requests, but “she won’t listen, and she won’t do it until I shout or scold her.”
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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How to Handle Behavior We Can't Physically Control
The mother of a 3-year-old feels she has very little control over some of her son’s unpleasant behavior, and she’s struggling to come up with appropriate responses. In her email to Janet, she cites examples like screaming, running away when she’s trying to dress him, and throwing himself to the ground. “How do I set boundaries around things like this that I feel I have no influence over?”
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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Independent Play, Bonding, and Setting Limits
Janet responds to two comments from one of her website articles, “Independent Play: 5 Hints to Get the Ball Rolling”(http://bit.ly/2iEdOPV). First, a mother’s question about reading and her 13-month-old’s demands for attention when she has other things to do; and then another mom’s critique of Janet’s advice. Both comments bring up helpful points but highlight certain misconceptions about Magda Gerber and Janet’s parenting approach.
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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Disturbed My Boy is Losing Self-Confidence
Janet responds to an email from a parent whose son has been coming home from daycare recently and telling her he can’t do certain tasks and activities. “It disturbs me,” she writes. “I just want him to do his best and be proud of himself.” She says his attitude seems to be getting worse, and she’s seeking advice how to respond to him.
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's audio series "Sessions", her private recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns. Find out more at: SessionsAudio.com.
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High Energy Boy Won't Cooperate
Janet responds to the mother of an almost 3-year-old who says she used to appreciate and encourage her son’s boundless energy, but now that he has a new sibling, he’s having a lot of trouble sitting in his chair to eat, dressing, and following basic directions. This mom has found herself yelling and threatening lately, and she’s disappointed in herself. “This is not how I saw myself with him.”
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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Imitating Annoying Behavior
The mother of a 23-month-old girl writes that she and her husband recently spent a week with some relatives and their 2.5-year-old in a shared house. This mom says her daughter had always been “a joy to be around,” but now she’s imitating the negative behavior of the other toddler, whining and yelling, and she’s wondering how to best respond.
For more on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's audio series "Sessions", her private recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns. Find out more at: SessionsAudio.com.
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Can a Child Be Taught Resilience?
Janet responds to an email from a mom who says she is good about accepting her sensitive boy’s feelings without trying to fix them, but she also wants him to be emotionally resilient. She’d like Janet’s advice about how to “teach him to bounce back when others hurt his feelings.”
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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Solving Toddler Sleep Issues with Sleep Expert Lisa Sunbury
Janet is joined by Lisa Sunbury to provide insight and answers to a mom who says she is spending hours every night trying to get her 21-month-old to sleep. Her daughter refuses to stay in her bed alone, and this mom is frustrated and sleep-deprived.
For more on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's audio series "Sessions", her private recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns. Find out more at: SessionsAudio.com.
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Setting Limits with Your Possessive Toddler
Janet responds to a mom whose 21-month-old son has become possessive about toys, and she’s worried that he’s showing aggression towards other kids. “I don’t know what to do,” she writes, “and I am so scared that through my mistakes of parenting he will become a bully.”
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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Can a Mom's Empathy Be Patronizing?
Janet responds to an email from a mother who says her husband gets irritated when she acknowledges the feelings of their 16-month-old son. She writes: “He says it feels very patronizing, and that if someone suggested to him what his feelings were, he would get mad.” This mom wonders how to respond to her husband’s attitude and whether she’s using the right language when acknowledging their son’s feelings.
For more on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's audio series "Sessions", her recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns. Find out more at: SessionsAudio.com.
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My Toddler's A Little Rough With The Baby
Janet responds to a mother struggling to moderate her toddler’s enthusiastic, energetic interactions with his 7-month-old sister. She believes that her son means well, but she’s afraid his play is too intense. “I want to encourage sibling play, but how do I get him to understand he can’t play that rough with her?”
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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Does My Child Feel Safe Expressing Emotions?
A dad is perplexed about how to best support his son when he gets hurt. “I have always tried to give him the space and freedom to express his emotions,” he writes, but lately his son has been rejecting support and insisting through tears that he is not hurt. This dad isn’t sure how to handle it. “I want him to know he can express his emotions in a safe way.”
For more on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's audio series "Sessions", her recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns. Find out more at: SessionsAudio.com.
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Working Mom Feels Like a Bad Parent
A parent who works full time writes that her toddler son has recently become extremely clingy and whiny when she comes home. She knows that he’s testing her but doesn’t feel she handles it well, and she sometimes loses her cool. “I’m totally lost,” she says. “I’m very upset and feel I’m a bad mother.”
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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Encouraging An Easily Frustrated Child
The mother of a 2.5-year-old writes that her boy gets frustrated easily when he attempts new things, and then gets angry and “demands I do it for him.” She says she tries to be encouraging and accepting of his emotions, but she wants to know if Janet has any suggestions on how she might communicate more effectively with her son.
For more on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's audio series SESSIONS, her recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns. Find out more at: SessionsAudio.com.
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"Terrified I've Damaged My Spirited Daughter"
A mom writes that she’s recently noticed her 2.5-year-old avoids looking her in the eye -- as if she’s ashamed. She’s worried that her stern lecturing and irritation when setting limits has damaged her daughter’s spirit, and she wants to know if it’s too late to make reparations.
For more on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's audio series SESSIONS, her recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns. Find out more at: SessionsAudio.com
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"Mommy, Are You Happy?"
Janet responds to an email from the mother of an almost-3-year-old boy who has started asking if she is happy, usually after he’s done something wrong. This mom admits that she does freely show her emotions “because I think that is a healthy thing,” but she doesn’t want her son to be so concerned about her reactions and moods.
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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Setting Limits That Make Mealtimes Enjoyable
A mother writes that she and her husband are frustrated that they can’t share a peaceful meal with their toddler. They’ve tried a number of different set-ups, but their son ends up throwing tantrums and food. “I don’t enjoy meals,” this mom says, and she’s looking for a new approach.
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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Helping Babies Take Their Medicine
Janet responds to two mothers who share a common challenge: giving their small children necessary medications that are unpleasant or painful. Both mothers are caring and respectful, but both are struggling. One mother believes, “I’m definitely doing something wrong here.” The other wonders, “How do I speak to my baby when I’m doing something that hurts, but is necessary?”
For more on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's audio series SESSIONS, her recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns: SessionsAudio.com
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Getting Family on Board with Your Parenting Beliefs
Janet answers a question from the mother of a four-month-old who says she is having trouble getting her husband on the same page when it comes to independent play. He doesn’t see the baby much, so when he does, he wants to engage “face-to-face, total stimulation and entertainment.” While she empathizes with her husband’s desire, she also worries that he’s undercutting one of her basic parenting principles.
Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com)
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How to Stop Carrying and Start Encouraging Your Baby's Play
A mom who’s been carrying her 5-month-old on her back is now trying to get her daughter to spend time playing on her own. So far, it isn’t working for either of them, and this mom is frustrated and looking for solutions. “My back would adore a break,” she writes. “And I want her to be the happiest, most confident baby she can be.”
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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No Tolerance for Bullying
A mother confides to Janet that she is concerned that her son’s roughhousing on the playground has become too aggressive. “I don’t want to label,” she writes, “but this looks like the beginnings of future bullying behavior to me.” She’s alarmed by her son’s aggressiveness, and her instinct is to intervene, yet she wonders if she’s overreacting.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Her exclusive audio series "Sessions" is also available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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Is There a Problem with Pacifiers?
A mother writes that she has been using a pacifier in certain instances to soothe her 7-month-old daughter but has mixed feelings about it. She says that she really appreciates that the pacifier “gives me some space… some possibility to relax,” but she is also concerned that it may be “a stopper of feelings.” She would like to know Janet’s thoughts.
For more on common infant and toddler issues, please check out Janet's new audio series SESSIONS, her recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns: SessionsAudio.com
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My Daughter's Friend is a Bad Influence
A mother believes that her 4-year-old’s best friend is a bad influence. She feels her daughter has adopted this friend’s behaviors and attitudes that are exclusionary and bullying towards other children. She wants to trust her daughter to choose her own friends but admits, “I really have come to dislike this child.”
Check out Janet's new audio series SESSIONS, her recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns: SessionsAudio.com
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Why Not Swat My Toddler's Hand?
The mother of a 14-month-old writes that she aspires to be a respectful parent, but her living situation presents some physical dangers for an active toddler, and lately she finds herself swatting his hand. “I feel torn between two worlds," she says. "Is there any place in gentle parenting for a hand swat?”
For more on toddler discipline and specific parenting issues, please check out Janet's new audio series SESSIONS, her recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns: SessionsAudio.com
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Explosive Reactions to Minor Events
Janet responds to a question from her Facebook page from the mother of a 20-month-old who’s started to show his dissatisfaction with various situations by screaming, crying, and in some cases hitting. This mom says she typically handles it “by talking through his frustration with him," and she's wondering if there's more she could be doing to support him.
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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My Toddler Wants EVERYTHING
Janet responds to an email from a mother who says her “strong-willed, super clingy toddler” has gotten into the habit of incessantly asking her for anything and everything in sight. This mom says that even if she gives her the thing she wants, her daughter will then demand a different object. “It is driving me crazy.”
For more on demanding toddlers and specific parenting issues, please check out Janet's new audio series SESSIONS, her recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns: sites.fastspring.com/jlmlpress/product/sessions
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Challenges at Pick-Up Time
The mother of a 4-year-old says her son wants to stay and play with his friend after school, and when she says it’s time to go, he either runs away or she leaves with him screaming. She admits that she struggles with setting limits and wonders how she can be more successful in avoiding this daily drama.
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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Dealing with Your Child's Aggressive Playmate
Janet responds to a mother who says whenever her 10-month-old gets together with her best friend’s 2.5-year-old, the older child “hits, punches, pushes, and grabs toys” from her son. She says she feels guilty for letting her boy get pushed around, but she doesn’t want to insult her friend or “pretend I know anything about parenting by intervening in the conflict.” She asks Janet how she would respond and how to better understand the toddler’s perspective.
For more of Janet's respectful care advice, please check out her new audio series SESSIONS, her recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns in detail: SessionsAudio.com
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No Self-Confidence
A mother writes that she “feels like a failure” for having provided constant stimulation to her baby. Now 4 years old, she says her son lacks self-confidence. She describes him as insecure, easily embarrassed, and reluctant to try new things, which she blames on herself for having “dictated” his play as a baby. She doesn’t know what to do and is looking for advice.
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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Extremely Clingy and Whiny Since Grandma Moved In
A mother who has tried to raise her 22-month-old daughter with a sense of confidence and independence says that since her mother-in-law moved into the house, her daughter has become “the epitome of dependent… clingy, whiny and stubborn.” She believes this new household dynamic is undermining her as a parent and “has ruined my girl.”
For more of Janet's respectful care advice, please check out her new audio series SESSIONS, her recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns in detail: SessionsAudio.com
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Peeing on the Floor is an Attention-Getter
An almost-3-year-old who seemed to have made the transition to using a toilet has started wetting his pants and peeing on the floor. His mom is confused (and annoyed) because she says he doesn't have “accidents” when he’s out and about, even for an entire day. She’s wondering why this is happening all of a sudden and why only at home.
For more on transitions and other common parenting issues, please check out Janet's new audio series SESSIONS, her recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns: SessionsAudio.com
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When Children Ask About Death (or Other Heavy Topics)
The mother of an almost-4-year-old asks Janet if she’s responding appropriately to her daughter’s recent questions about death. She is trying to be open and honest and respectful of her daughter’s feelings, but she also doesn’t want her to “think or worry more about this than she should… I want her to be happy and not be scared of dying so much.”
For more on other common parenting issues, please check out Janet's new audio series SESSIONS, her recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns: SessionsAudio.com
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Handling My Toddler's First Tantrum
A mom writes to describe her 13-month-old’s first tantrum, saying that after several gentle and respectful attempts to manage the situation, she “froze and didn't know what to do.” She’s wondering how she might have handled the situation differently so she can be better prepared for the inevitable ‘next time’.
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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My Toddler's Blankie Blues
A mother writes that her 3-year-old was told that he could no longer bring his security blanket to preschool. The director of the school said that her son needed to "learn some independence from his blanket” and also suggested that “maybe he isn’t mature enough for preschool.” This mom is understandably upset. She fundamentally disagrees with the school’s director on a number of levels and has written to Janet for her “opinions and guidance.”
For more on toddler transitions and other parenting issues, please check out Janet's new audio series SESSIONS, her recorded consultations with parents: SessionsAudio.com
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When Your Child Seems Afraid of Other People
A mom worries that her toddler has developed an irrational fear of people, both strangers and family friends. She says that in some situations her daughter will cry uncontrollably for 10 minutes or more. “It’s awful to see our daughter so upset, and I’m desperate to know the best way to handle this.”
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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My Daughter Is Never Satisfied (And It's Making Me Nuts)
A mother is alarmed by her feelings of animosity towards her demanding 5-year-old. She admits that there have been a lot of transitions in the household, but she’s run out of patience with her daughter's constant complaints and is “turning into the kind of mother I’ve always hated… I want to hit the reset button but can’t find it.”
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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Helping Your Child Through a Difficult Transition
A mom writes that her 3-year-old has become whiny, demanding, and clingy since her separation from the boy’s father and their move to a new home. At this point, she says, “I do not enjoy being with him at all” and she wonders if Janet has advice on how to re-establish their relationship so she can enjoy being with him again.
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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Coping with a High Needs Baby (special guest: Lisa Sunbury)
Janet responds to a letter from a pregnant mom who struggled mightily with her first child, whom she describes as a Velcro baby. Though her daughter has developed into a “happy, confident and wonderful little girl,” the experience took a toll on this mother and left her feeling insecure as a parent and “frankly terrified of having the same experience again.”
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
Our Sponsors:
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My Son Is Saying the F-Word
A mother writes that her “kind, sensitive” boy has picked up the F-word and is using it frequently to test his parents’ patience. She says that she has tried a variety of responses, ranging from ignoring the word to disallowing it, but nothing has helped. Both parents are out of ideas and looking for some direction.
For more advice on parenting issues, please check out this new audio resource -- "Sessions" -- my recorded consultations with parents: SessionsAudio.com
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My Toddler's Becoming a Bully
A mom writes to Janet wondering if she should give her 2-year-old a reprieve from socializing, since she can’t seem to get through a play date without either hitting, kicking, or biting one of her peers. She wants to raise her daughter “to be kind and loving and safe around other people,” but at this point she feels that she has become a bully.
For more on aggressive toddler behavior and other issues, please check out this new audio resource -- "Sessions" -- my recorded consultations with parents: SessionsAudio.com.
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When Play Seems Too Rough
A mom with 4 and 6-year-old girls is worried that playdates at the park with friends are too rough, sometimes downright dangerous. She says that in many instances children get hurt and someone ends up in tears. This mom is wondering how, when, or if to intervene to protect her kids.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Her exclusive audio series "Sessions" is also available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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Motivating Your Child
Janet responds to a mother who describes her husband and herself as “very healthy, active people.” They have been trying to encourage their almost 5-year-old to pursue physical activities by providing lessons and classes but are frustrated because he loses interest. They are wondering whether to push their agenda or just let it go.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Her exclusive audio series "Sessions" is also available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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The Facts About Your Kids and Screen Time (with Dr. Meghan Owenz)
Janet is joined by Dr. Meghan Owenz and her husband Adam to discuss some of the truths and misconceptions about children and screens. Meghan is a university professor teaching classes on counseling and infant and child development. She and Adam write about the latest research on their website ScreenFreeParenting and present a host of screen-free alternatives to keep children engaged and learning.
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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Too Much Jumping and Climbing in the House
The mother of a 16-month-old is climbing the walls because her daredevil boy insists on climbing the furniture and putting himself “in potentially dangerous situations.” She strives to maintain a respectful, trusting attitude and does not want to continually say ‘no’, but she feels her son is testing and trying to get a reaction out of her.
For more advice on toddler parenting issues, please check out this new audio resource -- "Sessions" -- my recorded consultations with parents: SessionsAudio.com
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Should We Referee Toy Conflicts?
The parent of a 22-month-old seeks some clarification for toy-taking situations when her boy is in a public space -- if or when to intervene, and wondering if it’s better to weather the judgmental stares of other parents in favor of her son’s social development.
For more on toddler conflicts and other common parenting issues, please check out this new audio resource -- "Sessions" -- my recorded consultations with parents: SessionsAudio.com.
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When a Child Can't Get Her Act Together in the Morning
A mom is frustrated that her 4-year-old daughter has suddenly decided she’s helpless in the mornings, pretending to be overwhelmed and confused by the most basic tasks. This mom is expecting a new baby and is going to need her daughter’s cooperation when the child arrives.
For more on common parenting issues, please check out this new audio resource -- "Sessions" -- my recorded consultations with parents: SessionsAudio.com
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Choosing Your Battles with a Controlling Child
A mom is struggling with her 3.5-year-old’s “controlling and oppositional behavior.” She’s trying to find reasonable boundaries to avoid big confrontations over minor issues when her daughter insists on calling the shots.
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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4-Year-Old Has Emotional, Aggressive Responses to Limits
A mom describes her daughter as “super easy, independent and happy” at school but emotional and defiant at home. She suspects her child is going through a “development leap” that will pass (she hopes!) but wonders how to handle her behavior in the meantime.
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
Our Sponsors:
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Frazzled by Baby’s Frustrated Noises
A mom is confused by her one-year-old’s loud grunts and screeches and isn’t always sure what he needs in these situations.
For more on common parenting issues, please check out this new audio resource -- "Sessions" -- my recorded consultations with parents: SessionsAudio.com
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When Toddlers Take Toys
Janet responds to a question from a mom whose 15-month-old is constantly taking toys from his peers on the playground. She describes him as “very physical and stronger and taller than most of the other kids.” She’s tried many approaches to moderate his behavior, but none of them have worked. She’s looking for some new strategies.
(Here's the article that Janet and the parent refer to in the podcast: http://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/02/what-to-do-about-a-toddler-toy-taker/)
For more on common parenting issues, please check out this new audio resource -- "Sessions" -- my recorded consultations with parents: http://sites.fastspring.com/jlmlpress/product/sessions
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My Two-Year-Old Won't Behave in Class
Janet weighs in with a concerned mom whose toddler is having trouble sitting and listening in his enrichment class.
"Sessions" is Janet's collection of private phone consultations with parents. Check out episodes here: SessionsAudio.com
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Should I Teach My Child to Say 'No'?
Janet responds to a mother who has avoided using words like ‘no’ and ‘stop’ when interacting with her child, and she’s now concerned that her toddler doesn’t have the social vocabulary to establish her own boundaries.
For more on boundaries and other common parenting issues, please check out this new audio resource -- "Sessions" -- my recorded consultations with parents: http://sites.fastspring.com/jlmlpress/product/sessions
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Intense Difficulties with a Child's Defiance and Resistance
Janet responds to a letter from a single parent who describes her relationship with her 4-year-old as close and respectful, yet her daughter’s behavior is exhausting and concerning. This mum is overwhelmed and is desperately seeking advice and hope.
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books on Amazon and Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
Our Sponsors:
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Am I Giving My Baby Enough Attention?
Janet offers advice to a mother of nine-month-old twins. The boy is physically active and social and seeks her engagement. The girl is content to play independently without much interaction or feedback, and the mom is worried that she may not be giving her enough attention.
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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Encouraging Your Baby's Independent Play
A working mom writes that her 3-month-old is not happy when left on the floor to play by himself. He quickly begins “screaming and crying to be saved,” and the situation is causing problems both at home and at the child’s daycare.
Check out Sessions, my recorded consultations with parents: SessionsAudio.com
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When Parents Separate
Janet receives a letter from a mom who’s been separated from her husband for six weeks and is about to make the arrangement permanent. She wonders how much, and how best to communicate with her four-year-old about the situation and how to handle the changes in their lives.
"Sessions" is Janet's exclusive collection of private phone consultations with parents. Check out episodes here: SessionsAudio.com
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Help! My Daughter Has Become A Hitter And Shover
Janet advises a worried mother whose child's behavior seems to have taken a turn for the worse.
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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Sensitive Boy Doesn't Like Hearing "No"
A father is concerned about his 3-year-old’s sensitive reaction to hearing the word ‘no’. He senses that his boy feels punished or that he has done something wrong, so he wonders if there’s something he can adjust in his delivery.
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
Our Sponsors:
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What To Expect From Your Older Child When You're Expecting (And Thoughts About Classes For Toddlers)
Janet answers a letter from an expecting mother whose 2.5-year-old daughter has become wantonly defiant, especially during various extracurricular classes, and her antics are leading to some potentially dangerous situations. This mom feels like she’s being baited and wants the testing to stop.
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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What To Do About Your Screeching Child
A mom writes that her toddler’s constant screeching is “driving me crazy!” and is hoping Janet has some advice before she loses her mind.
For more on toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's new audio series SESSIONS, her recorded consultations with parents: SessionsAudio.com
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Help With A Toddler Who Bites
A parent writes to Janet about her two-year-old’s habit of biting her playmates when she’s frustrated or angry. The parent has been employing a respectful approach to these situations, which has helped somewhat, but it hasn't completely alleviated the issue.
For more on common parenting issues, please check out this new audio resource -- "Sessions" -- my recorded consultations with parents: SessionsAudio.com
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Toddler Tattoo Artist (Why Limit Creativity?)
A mom asks Janet whether she should put the kibosh on her daughter’s body painting or just accept it as healthy artistic exploration.
For more on common parenting issues, please check out this new audio resource -- "Sessions" -- my recorded consultations with parents: SessionsAudio.com.
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My Child Is Too Passive
A parent describes her 26-month-old as “too passive” and is confused about how to react when she witnesses other children taking his toys, hitting, or yelling at him.
For more on common toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's new audio series SESSIONS, her recorded consultations with parents: SessionsAudio.com
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Aggressive Toddler Behavior (Hitting, Biting, Spitting)
Janet responds to a father whose 2.5-year-old is acting out at home and at school by biting, hitting, and sometimes spitting when she doesn’t get her way. The toddler’s dad says he’s tried a respectful approach to curb her behavior, but it seems to be getting worse.
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
Our Sponsors:
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Motor Development, Praise, Motivation, Emotional Health (More RIE Parenting Basics)
Janet continues the introduction to RIE parenting she began in her previous podcast by briefly discussing ways parents can foster natural motor development, emotional health, intrinsic motivation, and inner direction. These are basics 4-6 from her article "RIE Parenting Basics - 9 Ways To Put Respect Into Action."
For more audio on common parenting issues, please check out this new resource -- "Sessions" -- my recorded consultations with parents: SessionsAudio.com
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3 RIE Parenting Basics
Janet responds to a frequent reader request to introduce and summarize the RIE parenting approach. She begins in this podcast by discussing the first 3 basics she shared in her article "RIE Parenting Basics - 9 Ways To Put Respect Into Action".
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
Our Sponsors:
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Toilet Training Isn't Working
Janet responds to a mother whose son seems to grasp the concept of using the toilet, but he isn’t cooperating. She’s trying to be patient and understanding but also worried his resistance is becoming entrenched, so she’s looking to Janet for some potty pointers.
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
Our Sponsors:
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When A Child's Hugs Aren't Welcome
A mother worries about her daughter’s displays of affection toward her friends, who aren’t always appreciative. She’s wondering how to explain the limits of physical love to her huggy daughter.
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
Our Sponsors:
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Sibling Conflicts (In This Case, Twins)
A mother of toddler twins is frazzled by her children’s constant conflicts, which often deteriorate into what she describes as hand-to-hand combat. While she makes every effort to be respectful and patient, she’s exhausted by the relentless discord and is wondering how she might diffuse future struggles before they become altercations.
For more on siblings and other parenting issues, please check out this new audio resource -- "Sessions" -- my recorded consultations with parents: SessionsAudio.com.
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When Toddlers And Dogs Don't Mix
A nervous mother writes about her daughter’s new compulsion to hit the family dog, even after she’s been asked numerous times to stop. While this mom generally trusts the dog as docile and doesn’t believe her daughter’s intentions are malicious, she worries the dog may have a bad moment and nip the toddler.
"Sessions" is Janet's exclusive collection of phone consultations with parents. Check out episodes here: SessionsAudio.com
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"I No Like You"
Janet responds to a toddler’s mother who appreciates her child’s ability and willingness to vocalize her feelings, but she doesn’t always appreciate the words she chooses.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.
Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon: https://amzn.to/3ATFwkb Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.
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Struggles With Dressing And Diaper Changes
Janet replies to the parent of an active 7-month-old who worries that their otherwise respectful relationship is jeopardized by constant struggles at bedtime that are upsetting to her and her baby.
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
Our Sponsors:
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The Fuss About Crying (with Lisa Sunbury)
Janet engages child development expert Lisa Sunbury (http://regardingbaby.org) in a discussion about one of the most controversial, hot-button parenting topics -- crying. Together they explore responses to crying that are respectful and healing and describe how adjusting our perception of crying can foster our children's psychological health and emotional resilience.
There's more on this topic in Janet's post, "7 Reasons to Calm Down About Babies Crying": http://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/09/7-reasons-to-calm-down-about-babies-crying/
For more audio on common parenting issues, please check out this new resource -- "Sessions" -- my recorded consultations with parents: SessionsAudio.com
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Your Child Asks Again, And Again... And Again
It’s common for children – toddlers especially – to ask the same question again and again. The behavior can be exhausting and annoying. Perhaps they won’t take “no” for an answer, or they innocently ask, “Why, why, why?” when you’ve answered their question repeatedly. Janet discusses the causes and possible remedies. For more on common parenting issues, please check out this new audio resource -- "Sessions" -- my recorded consultations with parents: SessionsAudio.com
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
When A Toddler Rejects One Parent
Janet responds to a note from a mom who says her toddler is actively rejecting her husband's company and attention, a situation which is hurtful to them both. For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ). Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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Finding The Right Tone For Setting Limits
A parent is having difficulty convincing her 10-month-old that pulling mommy’s hair is not a good game, but her son is not getting the message.
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ). Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
The Power Of "No"
Janet shares an excerpt from her book “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame” where she addresses a mom's frustration with her toddler’s new habit of constantly saying, "No!" For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon: https://amzn.to/3ATFwkb Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.
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How To Stop Sitting Your Baby Up (It's Not Too Late)
A concerned mom realizes she's been interfering in her baby's gross motor development by restricting movement and wonders if there are steps she can take to help get her baby get back on track. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon: https://amzn.to/3ATFwkb Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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When We're Outnumbered! (Managing Sibling Conflicts)
Janet addresses a parent's concerns about feeling “way over my limits with anger and frustration” when dealing with her children’s intense and noisy battles.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.
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Guiding Toddlers With Connection
What it really means to connect with kids when we're guiding their behavior, and how to do it with empathy, calm, and respect. I share a complete guide to respectful discipline in my book "No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame," which is available at Amazon, iBooks, B&N, and also (and popular!) on Audible. Also available for download, my audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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Toddler Toy Battles - Interventions That Work
In this episode: The interventions we use when children battle over toys or engage in other social struggles are reflective of our perceptions of their abilities, as well as our general attitudes toward learning and ‘struggle’. Do we perceive babies, toddlers and preschoolers as basically capable? Or fragile and needy? Are our children born active, self-directed learners (as child specialist Magda Gerber asserted), or do they need us to manage their development from day one? Should we prevent children from struggling, avoid frustration and disappointment, or are age-appropriate conflicts healthy learning opportunities? My experiences working with infants and toddlers confirm Magda Gerber’s assertions about their competency and the benefits of allowing them to learn through conflict.
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible.
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Fler poddar
Podcasten Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled är skapad av JLML Press. Podcastens innehåll och bilderna på den här sidan hämtas med hjälp av det offentliga podcastflödet (RSS).
En liten tjänst av I'm With Friends. Finns även på engelska.