65. Why we fall in love

Why do we fall in love with the people we do?

We like to believe attraction is a choice. That we meet someone, get to know them and gradually decide that this is a person we want.

Often, something happens long before that decision.

Our biology, attachment patterns, nervous system and unconscious associations are already shaping who feels exciting, familiar, safe or irresistible to us.

In the first chapter of Collecting Maps, we explore the forces underneath attraction and why chemistry can sometimes tell us as much about ourselves as it does about the person standing in front of us.

Why does one person leave us untouched while another can change the temperature of the room simply by walking into it?

Why can familiarity feel like love?

Why are safety and attraction sometimes drawn together, and sometimes seemingly pulled apart?

Perhaps the most interesting question isn’t who we fall in love with.

It’s what part of us is doing the choosing.

Stay open, stay honest, stay present