22: How to Say No With ADHD When People-Pleasing Feels Like Survival

If you say yes before the question is finished, then spend the evening resenting it, this episode names what's underneath. ADHD people-pleasing is often the fawn response, a survival-mode reaction to feeling unsafe that has nothing to do with being nice, and once you see it that way, saying no gets a lot less terrifying. This is for the ADHDer who struggles with boundaries and takes on far more than they have room for.

I talk about where fawn fits alongside fight, flight, and freeze, why ADHD dysregulation produces choices that make no sense once you step back, and what a boundary is when it asks nothing of anyone else. I also cover how to say no with a go-to sentence that buys you time, and why nervous system regulation lifts your executive functioning and eases ADHD symptoms.

00:00 - What Is the Fawn Response in ADHD

01:03 - People-Pleasing vs. Survival Mode Explained

09:32 - True Boundaries: What They Are and Aren't

11:03 - Fawn Response: Self-Preservation vs. Genuine Kindness

11:44 - Step 1: Slow Down Before Saying Yes

Check out the show notes and other resources at https://jennafree.com/blog/adhd-people-pleasing-how-to-say-no

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