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The Role of Humility in Healing
Humility in trauma recovery isn’t about shrinking—it’s about softening. It’s the ability to face ourselves and our patterns without defensiveness or shame. So often, we expect healing to mean “getting over” something. But what if healing is about learning how to live with the parts of ourselves we can’t fully change? Some things—the body image issues, the fear of abandonment, the waves of rage or shutdown—don’t vanish completely. And when they resurface, it doesn’t mean we’ve failed. It just means we’re human. Real healing begins when we stop asking, “Why can’t I just let this go?” and start asking, “How can I be with this right now?”
That shift takes humility. Not just the humility to say, “I’m hurting,” but also the humility to say, “This might be part of me for a long time—and I can still have a good life.” It’s not weakness. It’s strength. It’s letting go of the illusion that we’ll one day arrive at some perfected state of “healed.” Maybe we never will. Maybe healing is a verb, not a destination. Maybe the work is in allowing space for the mess to still exist without letting it define us. And maybe humility is what lets us stop striving and start accepting—with softness, not surrender.
We were taught to strive for perfection, to hide our pain, to “fix” ourselves so we’d finally be worthy. But this path asks something different. It asks us to meet ourselves as we are. To integrate rather than erase. To stop waiting for some future version of us to be lovable. Humility doesn’t mean giving up—it means showing up. Gently. Again and again. Even when it hurts. Especially when it hurts.
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En liten tjänst av I'm With Friends. Finns även på engelska.