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Episode 260: Shame Must Switch Sides: It’s Not Shameful to NOT Want Pornified Sex

71 min • 21 november 2024

Gisele Pelicot famously said that "shame must switch sides"--and I think that applies to the evangelical church! Over and over again over the last few years ,when male teachers have presented a pornified view of sex and women have said "no", women have been accused of being prudes. But it is okay to reject objectification. A close look at Josh Butler, Gary Thomas coercing women into sending nude photos, and more--all of whom called us ashamed of sex for saying no.

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THINGS MENTIONED:

Ngina Otiende’s initial article about Gary Thomas
Our review of Gary Thomas’ book Married Sex
My original article about how Married Sex coerces nude photos
Our podcast where we talked about Gisele Pelicot
The Male Centric Sex podcast
Theology in the Raw episode with Josh Butler
Brett McCracken about Josh Butler
Twitter thread with Gary Thomas
Juli Slattery’s article quoting me

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Senaste avsnitt

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Episode 286: Our Best Christian Dating Advice--that you've all been asking for!

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Episode 260: Shame Must Switch Sides: It’s Not Shameful to NOT Want Pornified Sex

Senaste avsnitt

Episode 289: Why Fiction Makes You a Better Person (Why We Don't Hate ALL Books!)

Episode 288: Is Sex a Want or a Need?

Episode 287: What is “Headship” in Ephesians 5 and 1 Corinthians 11? Feat. Marg Mowczko

Episode 286: Our Best Christian Dating Advice--that you've all been asking for!

Episode 285: Are Soul Ties Real? Overcoming a Purity Culture Teaching

Episode 284: The Problems with the Book His Needs, Her Needs by Willard Harley

Episode 283: When the Church Stole Your Sex Life

Episode 282: What Makes Men Cheat? New Research Spotlight

Episode 281: You Shouldn't Iron Your Cheating Husband's Clothes--Plus We Answer Your Questions!

Episode 280: The Problems with the Book The Love Dare--And How It Papers Over Real Problems

Episode 279: Saving Face: Finding My Self, God, and One Another Outside a Defaced Church (feat. Aimee Byrd)

Episode 278: Why Don't Evangelical Women Want to Marry Evangelical Men?

Episode 277: Why Emotions Aren't Feminine (and Why Women Aren't More Emotional!)

Episode 276: Is Reading Romance Novels for Women the Same as Watching Porn?

Episode 275: Becoming the Pastor's Wife feat. Beth Allison Barr

Episode 274: The Marriage You Actually Want

Episode 273: Are Traditionally Christian Marriages Linked to More Immaturity? The Data Speaks!

Episode 272: Is "Acts of Service" Love Language Really a Cry for Help? All New Bonus Stats!

Episode 271: What the Unfairness Threshold Tells Us About Marriage (and Mental Load!)

Episode 270: What Does Prioritizing Marriage Look Like? Plus Do You Have to Choose Between Being a Good Wife and a Good Mom?

Episode 269: The Marriage Hierarchy of Needs—and Why Compromise Doesn’t Work

Episode 268: Why Data Shows That Teamwork, Not Hierarchy, Is the Key to a Great Marriage!

Episode 267: Why Evangelical Marriage Advice Often Backfires

Episode 266: Demolishing the Love and Respect Dichotomy Definitively (with Data)

Episode 265: Culture Wars vs. Jesus: How to Not Get Sucked in To Toxic Teachings

Episode 264: It’s the Peer Reviewed Celebration! Plus a Plea to Respect Science

Episode 263: Even After Everything—Loving Anyway, Despite the Risks

Episode 262: Problems with Marriage on the Rock by Jimmy Evans

Episode 261: Her Rites: The 6 Rites of Passage in a Woman’s Life feat. Christy Bauman

Episode 260: Shame Must Switch Sides: It’s Not Shameful to NOT Want Pornified Sex

Episode 259: Avoiding Power Struggles with Your Kids (Plus are you an unintentionally permissive parent?)

Episode 258: They’re Coming After Bluey Now? What’s Wrong with Involved Fathers?

Episode 257: Little Girls in Church Parking Lots in BaptistLand

Episode 256: How Should You Handle the Sex Talk with Your Kids?

Episode 255: For Our Daughters—Plus Why Sex Abuse Scandals Keep Happening

Episode 254: The 5 Myths of Purity Culture with Dr. Camden Morgante

Episode 253: The 93% Myth: That Stat That Says Fathers Are More Important Than Mothers Is Made Up!

Episode 252: Flourishing Families

Episode 251: All About Orgasms! Let’s Close the Gap!

Episode 250: Not All Men—But How Do We Tell?

Episode 249: Rebecoming: Figuring Out Why You’re Stuck feat. Dr. Merry Lin

Episode 248: Making Faith More Tangible in the Holy Everyday feat. Karen Stiller

Episode 247: Ask Sheila and Rebecca Anything! We Tackle Your Questions

Episode 246: How Toxic Marriage Advice Mirrors Coercive Control

Episode 245: The Problems with The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace

Episode 244: A Well-Trained Wife with Tia Levings

Episode 243: Modesty vs. Vanity: Maybe We Need to Shift the Conversation!

Episode 242: Spot the Propaganda and Logical Fallacies feat. Scott Coley

Episode 241: Both Hurt and Healed by the Church

Episode 240: Breaking Away from Christian Patriarchy (feat. Cait West) plus Why People Deconstruct

Episode 239: Who Are Exvangelicals? feat. Sarah McCammon

Episode 238: The Problems with Lies Young Women Believe by Dannah Gresh and Nancy Wolgemuth

Episode 237: Do We Have to Frame All Dads as Heroes?

Episode 236: The Sex Talk You Never Got with Sam Jolman

Episode 235: Wolves, Chimpanzees, and Deer: Let’s confront the Alpha Male Myth

Episode 234: Pastors’ Wives Spill the Tea on Church Life—and the search for authenticity and friendship

Episode 233: The Backlash from Those Defending Purity Culture feat. Zachary Wagner

Episode 232: When Submission "Cults" Groom for Abuse: One Woman's Story

Episode 231: Are We Saying that Wives Don't Have to Have Sex?

Episode 230: Why Evangelical Honeymoons Go So Badly feat. Jay Stringer

Episode 229: A Victim-Centered Approach to Forgiveness After Trauma

Episode 228: How Our Stories Influence Our Marriage Choices feat. Natalie Hoffman

Episode 227: Are We Creating a Strawman out of Complementarianism? We Respond to Critics

Episode 226: What We've Learned 3 Years After Great Sex Rescue

Episode 225: Do You Even Want This Kind of Marriage?

Episode 224: Lies Women Believe Part 2: Is God a Monster?

Episode 223: The Problems with Lies Women Believe by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth

Episode 222: How Sex Is Like Chef Boyardee–and Other New Research Findings!

Episode 221: Let Men Be Dads! Why Do So Many Evangelical Resources Portray Men as Pathetic Dads?

Episode 220: Why is Emerson Eggerichs Afraid of Women Talking? A Deep Dive into Love & Respect

Episode 219: Let Men be Men - Because We Believe Men are Great!

Episode 218: Let’s Pivot to Healthy Churches feat. Scot McKnight & Laura Barringer

Episode 217: When Religion Hurts You feat. Laura Anderson

Episode 216: Perceived Autonomy vs. Actual Autonomy: It’s Okay to Say No to Controlling Church Spaces

Episode 215: A Jesus-Centered Faith vs. Nationalism feat. Andrew Whitehead

Episode 214: What if Momma Ain’t Happy? Why It’s Okay to Sweat the Small Stuff

Episode 213: Stained Glass Ceilings: How the church does gender ft. Lisa Swartz

Episode 212: Do Women Really Initiate 70% of Divorces for Frivolous Reasons?