Episode 270: I Hate You, Don't Leave Me: The Chaos of the Disorganized Attachment

"I love you… now go away." That's the kind of chaos disorganized attachment creates. It's not drama or manipulation. It's deep inner turmoil that makes love feel dangerous and safety hard to trust. In this episode, Dr. Greg explores how childhood wounds shape these push-pull patterns, why closeness can feel threatening even when love is real, and how disorganized attachment helps make sense of borderline personality patterns.

Key Topics:

• Why someone can put you on a pedestal one day and tear you down the next
• How childhood wounds create push-pull patterns that feel impossible to escape
• Why closeness can feel like a threat, even when love is real
• How disorganized attachment helps explain borderline personality patterns
• Why these patterns are rooted in inner turmoil, not simple manipulation
• How healing begins by making sense of the chaos instead of being swallowed by it

Learn More:

• Need help? Schedule a free CatholicPsych consultation
• Previous episode on attachment theory:
  • Ep. #63: Attachment Theory: What It Is, What It Isn't, and How It Affects Your Relationships
• Previous episode in this series on the Borderline Defense Patterns:
  • Ep. #269: BORDERLINE: The Push-Pull Between a Fear of Abandonment and Annihilation
• Start of the Being Human series on the Dependent Defense Patterns:
  • Ep. #265: Jerry Maguire, Gollum, and the Fear of Not Existing
• Start of the Being Human series on the Narcissistic Defense Patterns:
  • Ep. #261: Narcissism and the Terror of Being Ordinary
• Stop Walking on Eggshells – A guide for navigating relationships affected by borderline personality patterns
• Want to help? Learn more about our Certification in Professional Accompaniment