How to Break Relationship Patterns: Resolving Conflict and Communicating Your Needs

Most relationships, romantic or otherwise, tend to get stuck in predictable patterns of conflict. This episode is about how to resolve that conflict, and get things moving again. Dr. Rick and Forrest draw on Rick's decades of work with couples and families to talk about getting on the same team, healthy boundaries, making clear requests, differentiation, and the pursuer-distancer dynamic. The episode closes with Forrest and his fiancée, associate therapist Elizabeth Ferreira, on fixing versus feeling, and how they worked through it in their own relationship.

Key Topics:

00:00: Intro

01:30: What Rick wishes couples did differently

09:22: How to ask for what you want

16:36: Differentiation and family systems

28:33: When both people are right: content vs. tone

37:58: Why fighting can feel good

42:09: The pursuer-distancer dynamic

47:15: Resentment and requests about the future

55:33: Fixing vs. feeling with Elizabeth

1:06:59: Recap 

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