223: She Asked Her Husband to K*ll Her. Here's What Chronic Illness, PTSD & Marriage Actually Look Like

Connect with Abi: https://www.instagram.com/abistumvoll/

I don't bring many women onto BraveCo, but when I do, it's because they have something that men need to hear — something they won't get anywhere else. Abby Stumble is one of my oldest and most trusted friends, and this conversation is one of the most honest ones I've ever had on this podcast. Abby grew up thinking she had a great childhood. She was wrong. A mentally ill, drug-addicted mother. A home full of chaos she internalized as her own failure. Panic attacks, suicidal thoughts, self-hatred, and a body she despised — all without a single clear explanation for why. It wasn't until she was 37 that the real story started to unravel. And what happened next changed everything she thought she knew about herself, her marriage, and what healing actually looks like.

We go deep into marriage in this one — specifically what happened when two beautiful train-wrecks decided to build a life together. Abby and Justin's story is a masterclass in how broken attachment cycles play out in real relationships: the avoidant man who disappears, the anxious woman who picks fights just to pull him back, and both of them trauma-bonding through explosions they thought was just how love worked. Sound familiar? We unpack the exact moment their marriage started to change — and it wasn't a big dramatic breakthrough. It was ownership. Honesty without shame. Vulnerability that didn't demand rescue. And I share my own piece of this too, because for years I went home every night feeling like a boy, not a man — isolated, ashamed, and slowly drowning while Lauren watched me disappear. This is the conversation that brings all of that into the open.

And then Abby goes somewhere I didn't expect. She tells the story of a season four years ago when she was so sick she couldn't walk ten feet, had lost thirty pounds, and begged Justin — through genuine physical torment — to end her suffering. What she learned in that dark place about present-moment living, nervous system regulation, collecting moments of good, and training your brain to attach to safety instead of pain is some of the most practical, life-changing content I've ever heard. If you're in a hard season right now — with your health, your marriage, your emotions, or your sense of who you are as a man — this episode is for you. Stay Brave.

Chapters:
00:00 – Welcome to BraveCo
09:44 – Growing Up in Chaos
19:27 – The Slow Unraveling
29:11 – Two Trainwrecks, One Marriage
38:54 – Jason's Story
48:38 – The Vulnerability Men Fear Most 
58:21 – Small Steps, Big Culture
1:08:05 – When the Body Breaks Down
1:17:48 – Regulating the Nervous System
1:27:32 – The Tiny Things, The Future With Hope, and a Prayer Over Every Person Listening

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ABOUT BRAVECO: We live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.