#42 How to Deal with Food, Bodies and Connection | With Kathryn Garland & Vanessa Scaringi

Food can bring up a lot of worry for parents. How do we stay curious about what a child is experiencing when our first instinct is to fix what they are eating?

Eli talks with Kathryn Garland and Vanessa Scaringi, co-authors of Hungry for Connection, about the relationships around food, body image and eating disorders. They discuss slowing down during difficult food conversations, making room for repair, and helping children navigate diet culture and online messages.

The conversation makes an important distinction: an eating disorder is not proof of insecure attachment or a parent's failure. The guests discuss multiple contributing factors, including neurodivergence and the wider environment, and acknowledge the role of behavioral and medical care alongside relational support.

In this conversation

• Understanding the feelings and needs that can sit beneath eating behaviors.
• Pausing to notice the worry we bring to a food conversation.
• Making space for repair when a moment does not go as we hoped.
• The guests’ idea of “messy eating,” with flexibility for real family circumstances.
• Bringing knowledge and body signals together, and asking questions about wellness claims.
• Discussing social media with children while keeping connection and boundaries in view.

Mentioned resources

• Hungry for Connection — the guests’ book
• Intuitive Eating — Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch
• The Anxious Generation — Jonathan Haidt
• The Amazing Generation — Jonathan Haidt and Catherine Price

Connect with the guests

• CALM Counseling
• Instagram: @calmcounselingatx

Learn more about secure parenting:

https://www.attachmentnerd.com/secure-parenting-program

Connect with Eli:

• Website: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentnerd/
• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentnerd

Music by Gold Child:

https://www.goldchildmusic.com/