Can Being a Perfectionist Mess with Your Sex Life?

Do you ever feel like your sex drive is just… gone — and you don’t know why?

In this interview episode, I talk with researcher Dr. Simone Buzwell about how relationship inequity quietly affects female sexual desire — and why fairness outside the bedroom might matter more than you think inside it.

We unpack her study on desire, domestic labor, and gender roles — including why same-sex female couples often report higher desire, and what happens when heterosexual couples fall into default patterns neither partner consciously chose.

You’ll learn:

• Why emotional and cognitive labour can erode desire — and how to recognize the invisible load
• The difference between solitary and dyadic desire (and why equity only impacts one of them)
• How male and female sexual desire can differ

The study covered in this episode is: Fairer Sex: The Role of Relationship Equity in Female Sexual Desire, written by Buzwell et al, and published in The Journal of Sex Research.

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