How to Talk About Sexual Preferences Without Killing the Mood

How can you tell if a new partner shares your turn-ons — without making it awkward?

In this episode, I answer a listener question about casual sex, power dynamics, and the kind of miscommunication that can happen when you don’t talk about your turn-ons out loud. We unpack a qualitative study on how people in BDSM communities use tech (like texting) to express desires, set boundaries, and build trust — especially when things are new or casual.

You’ll learn:

• Why even light power play requires clear communication
• How texting about sex can build connection, not kill it
• How to talk about your turn-ons — including different submission styles — without overexplaining

The study covered in this episode is: Sometimes It’s Easier to Type Things Than to Say Them: Technology in BDSM Sexual Partner Communication by Hamm et al., published in Sexuality & Culture.

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