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In Bed with Science: a Sex Podcast

Low Desire and Emotional Labour: The Hidden Link

55 min • 24 juni 2025

Do you ever feel like your sex drive is just… gone — and you don’t know why?


In this interview episode, I talk with researcher Dr. Simone Buzwell about how relationship inequity negatively affects female sexual desire — and why fairness outside the bedroom might matter more than you think inside it.


We unpack her study on desire, domestic labour, and gender roles — including why same-sex female couples often report higher desire, and what happens when heterosexual couples fall into default patterns neither partner consciously chose.


You’ll learn:

  • Why emotional and cognitive labour can erode desire — and how to recognize the invisible load
  • The difference between solitary and dyadic desire (and why equity only impacts one of them)
  • How male and female desire differ and why it's not just biology


The study covered in this episode is: Fairer Sex: The Role of Relationship Equity in Female Sexual Desire, written by Buzwell et al. and published in The Journal of Sex Research.


📝 Grab your free relationship equity checklist here, created by Malmö Stad, Sweden.

Interested in my services? Check them out here


Join my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here.


Do you want to submit a listener question for the podcast? Here's the link

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