The Winners of the "Channing Tatum Attempts To Write Erotic Poetry" Contest Are Announced!

With many thanks to all who entered, we have our winners! I wish I could have chosen all of you, but the contest winners are "Em" and "David Drury"! Congratulations to them both. I hope you enjoy my readings of these two magnificent entries. And while I did not do either of them justice, I had a goddamn BLAST with these pieces. Em's complex rendition of Donald Barthelme's "Concerning the Bodyguard" was truly mind-blowing. And David's tender understanding of Channing Tatum's inner difficulties was both touching and arousing. The words "chiseled confusion" sum it up nicely.

Em has nothing to plug because she remains a mystery. David can be found on twitter @DavDrury (highly recommend following him) & also at @jeffbreakfast. Also, listen to Tennis Pro! You won't regret it!