255. "I’m 40 and work 2 jobs. How are we still broke?"

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Gabriella, 36, and Chris, 40, a married couple from Pennsylvania with four kids, zero savings, and $32,000 in credit card debt. They both work multiple jobs. Chris travels all week and picks up extra shifts on weekends. Gabriella juggles three income streams while running the household alone. And yet their fixed costs sit at 109% of their income and the debt keeps growing. What Ramit uncovers goes much deeper than the numbers. For years, Gabriella has been managing everything alone, building budgets Chris never looks at, covering purchases she never agreed to, and quietly losing hope. Chris has been avoiding the conversation entirely. And buried underneath it all is something neither of them mentioned in their application: they've been here before. They filed for bankruptcy. And now, with four kids in tow, they're on the exact same path. In this episode we uncover: Why two incomes and two extra jobs still aren’t enough when your fixed costs are 109% The treadmill purchase that broke Gabriella's trust What Ramit means by "95% of your money relationship is in the shadows" The bankruptcy reveal that changes everything Why Chris can't give a straight answer and what it's costing the marriage The moment Gabriella admits she stopped doing everything just to see what would happen How Gabriella's new $70K job changes the numbers overnight The Florida plan and why Ramit says it won't fix anything What it looks like when a couple finally starts working as a team Chapters: (00:00:00) "I've never not worried about money in our marriage" (00:07:10) Do you have trust issues around money? (00:15:18) "What if you just stopped doing it all?" (00:17:32) "95% of our relationship with money is in the shadows" (00:22:17) Ramit reads the separation ultimatum from her application (00:34:00) The power dynamic: who earns more, who leads? (00:46:05) "So you all are broke" (00:52:27) The bankruptcy reveal (01:00:36) The Florida plan and why it won't fix anything (01:03:31) Gabriella's new income changes everything (01:05:57) "I'm too tired of being alone" (01:58:09) Follow-ups Calling LA couples: Apply to be coached for free on this podcast at ⁠https://iwt.com/apply⁠ This episode is brought to you by: Fabric by Gerber Life | Join the thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply today in just minutes at https://meetfabric.com/ramit DeleteMe | Get 20% off all consumer plans when you go to https://joindeleteme.com/ramit and use promo code RAMIT at checkout ZocDoc | Go to https://zocdoc.com/ramit to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today #sponsored  Facet | As of the date of this recording, Facet is waiving the enrollment fee for new annual members, and for my audience, Facet is offering $300 into your brokerage account if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days. Head to facet.com/ramit to learn more about which membership option is best for you. Offer has been extended to 12/31/2026. #FacetAd  If you or your partner get stressed spending $150 on dinner, or are covering up spending, I'd like to help. Apply to be coached for free on this podcast at iwt.com/apply Connect with Ramit Get my new book, Money For Couples Get Money Coaching with Ramit  Download the Conscious Spending Plan Listen to my book—now on Audible Get my New York Times best-selling book Get my no-numbers journal Other episodes Instagram Twitter YouTube Have you or your partner fallen for a scam? If so, I’d like to help. Apply to be coached for free on this podcast at iwt.com/apply