Therapist Combats Mormon Sexual Shame - Erika Nordfelt | Ep. 1984

In this episode of Mormon Stories, Erika Nordfelt shares her powerful journey from a devout Mormon upbringing to finding healing and self-discovery. Erika recounts her experiences growing up in a close-knit Mormon family, navigating high school in Colorado, and attending BYU-Idaho, where she faced struggles with religious expectations and marital dynamics shaped by the Church.She candidly discusses topics like sexual shame, pornography in marriage, and the role of Twelve-Step programs, highlighting the challenges of reconciling faith, identity, and personal growth. Erika opens up about her turning points, leaving the Church with her husband, and her work as a therapist, witnessing firsthand the impact of shame within Mormon culture.

Show Notes

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00:00:00 Intro

00:03:18 Erika’s intention for coming onto Mormon Stories and sharing her story

00:06:12 Erika’s upbringing and her parents

00:14:32 The best of Mormonism is being raised outside of Utah or Idaho, Mormonism should be the salt not the whole meal

00:16:30 High School years and feeling undesirable in the dating aspect

00:23:18 Her relationship with her body in dance and modesty

00:35:00 Sexual neglect in her upbringing and in the Mormon church

00:37:26 Attending BYU-Idaho - She did not serve a mission because she met her husband

00:49:20 Her awareness to physical touch and how she was raised

00:54:20 How the Mormon church shaped their marital relationship as far as gender roles, etc.

01:06:07 Learning that her husband struggled with masturbation and porn and how she handled it

01:20:00 She felt so much despair when her husband confessed to viewing pornography

01:29:23 The Twelve Step Program and what part it played in her marriage

01:39:20 How long did she go to these Twelve Step meetings and was it working?

01:46:10 Moving to Rexburg and getting new jobs on campus

01:56:00 Seeing clients for the first time at the BYU-Idaho Counseling Center

02:03:55 She had a front row seat to Mormon suffering while working as a counselor

02:14:35 Checking in with their marriage during this time in their life

02:26:55 The beginning of the end lasted for five years, holes being poked in the Gospel

02:33:10 She began exploring troublesome church topics from a safe place in the church

02:43:40 Has leaving the church affected her therapy practice at all?

02:50:40 A better way to approach porn and masturbation

03:19:13 Erika Nordfelt wrote a book called “Don’t Walk Alone”

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