School "Avoidance": Part 1 - What it is and how to spot it | Heidi Mavir - Neuroshambles

If you are a parent or carer of a neurodivergent child, the chances are that school attendance has been a topic that has kept you awake at night. Whether you know it as school refusal, emotionally based school avoidance, or one of a dozen other terms, it is one of the most stressful and isolating things a family can go through.

As a neurodivergent parenting podcast, Neuroshambles has been asked about this topic more than almost any other, so this week’s guest is one of the best in the business. Heidi Mavir is a best-selling author, public speaker, late-identified autistic and ADHD adult, and one of the most knowledgeable and tireless advocates for SEND families in the UK. Her own journey with her son Theo, who went from full school attendance to none at all in the space of a few months at the age of fourteen, gives her both the lived experience and the hard-won expertise to talk about this topic like very few others can.

This is Part 1 of a two-part episode, so here we focus on what barriers to attendance actually looks like in neurodivergent children and young people - from the terminology chaos to the sensory nightmare of school environments, the morning meltdowns, the masking, the after-school explosions, the physical symptoms, and ultimately what can happen when it all builds up into burnout. Part 2 will focus on the family impact and what you can actually do about it.

If you are a parent trying to make sense of what is happening with your child and school, this one is for you.

CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (ESTIMATED)

00:01:37 - Meet the Guest - Heidi Mavir

00:05:08 - What is EBSA? Unpacking the Terminology

00:19:01 - Why School is a Sensory and Emotional Minefield

00:30:40 - The PDA Dimension - Demand Avoidance in School

00:35:27 - Early Signs of Barriers to Attendance

00:42:00 - Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn and Flop - Polyvagal Theory

00:45:33 - After-School Meltdowns and the Masking Behind Them

00:52:19 - Physical Symptoms - When the Body Tells the Story

00:57:01 - What Changes Outside of School?

01:03:41 - How Barriers to Attendance Build Up Gradually Over Time