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Please Me! A Sexuality Podcast

Emotional Safety & Erotic Repair in Long-Term Relationships | Sexuality Education

1 tim 6 min11 mars 2026

In this powerful and deeply honest episode, Eve sits down with Xanet Pailet — former healthcare attorney turned sex and intimacy coach, bestselling author, and retreat leader. After leaving a 20+ year marriage that had become largely sexless, Xanet began a transformative journey of healing sexual shame, trauma, and emotional disconnection.

At age 50, she realized that desire doesn’t disappear because of aging or hormones — it fades when emotional safety erodes, communication shuts down, and the body stops feeling invited into the relationship.


Together, Eve and Xanet explore how to rebuild intimacy after a sexless marriage, repair emotional ruptures, heal trauma, and redefine sex beyond penetration to create lasting connection and pleasure. Topics Covered

  • Emotional safety as the foundation of sexual intimacy

  • Why repair is critical in long-term relationships

  • The impact of childhood shame and medical trauma on desire

  • Healing sexual shutdown through tantra and embodied practices

  • Expanding the definition of sex beyond penetration

  • Navigating erectile dysfunction with compassion and creativity

  • Mutual masturbation and alternative intimacy practices

  • How to start difficult conversations about sex

  • Touching for your own pleasure to build erotic connection

Intimacy Equation Quiz
A playful conversation starter to explore your intimacy style:
 https://howtoimprovemylovelife.com

Website & Retreats:
 https://passionateintimacyretreats.com

Books:

  • Living an Orgasmic Life

  • The Sex & Intimacy Repair Kit

Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Bookshop.org.

Website:
https://pleaseme.online

Social Media & Contact:
https://pleaseme.online/contacts

Substack Newsletter:
https://pleaseme.substack.com

Patreon – Ad-Free Episodes & Bonus Content:
https://patreon.com/PleaseMePodcast

Be a Guest on Please Me:
https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview

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