🎙️New Episode: How to Ask Better Questions & Communicate with Confidence at Work with Andres Lares | Real English Conversations Podcast For Global Professionals

What if becoming a better communicator isn't about talking more?

What if it's about asking better questions, listening more carefully, and creating an environment where people actually want to share?

In this episode of the Real English Conversations Podcast, Curtis Davies sits down with Andres Lares, CEO and Managing Partner of Shapiro Negotiations Institute, to explore the communication skills that can change the outcome of a negotiation, job interview, business meeting, presentation, or difficult workplace conversation.

Andrés brings a unique perspective to this conversation because English is his second language. Originally from Venezuela, he understands many of the challenges international professionals face when communicating in English — while also having extensive experience in negotiation, influence, deal coaching, and working with organizations across industries and cultures.

And one of the biggest lessons from this conversation?

You don't necessarily become more influential by talking more.

Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is ask a great question — and genuinely listen to the answer.

🎯 In This Episode, You'll Learn:

🌎 Why pressure can backfire — and why making someone feel comfortable and in control can lead to better conversations and more information.

🔥 The "Grill vs. Barbecue" approach — Andrés explains why slowing down, building rapport, and developing genuine curiosity can produce better results than trying to get everything immediately.

🪓 Why sharpening the axe matters — how preparation before a conversation can make the actual conversation much more effective.

💬 How to ask better questions at work — including why broad, open-ended questions can encourage people to reveal more useful information.

👂 How to listen without judgment — and why acknowledging what someone says doesn't mean you have to agree with them.

🧠 How to stay composed under pressure — instead of immediately becoming defensive, ask questions such as "Tell me more about that" or "Why is that important to you?"

🎭 How to get beyond rehearsed answers — by asking questions differently and changing the environment or setting.

🕵️ What negotiators and investigators have in common — preparation, questioning, listening, empathy, and emotional intelligence.

💼 How these skills apply to job interviews, negotiations, meetings, and presentations.

🌎 Why these communication principles work across cultures — and which skills are valuable almost anywhere in the world.

💪 How preparation and confidence work together — and why confidence without preparation isn't enough.

👔 What makes a great leader — including trust, integrity, capacity, and the ability to make people believe in you.

🔥 The "Grill vs. Barbecue" Communication Lesson

One of the most memorable concepts in this episode is Andrés' "grill vs. barbecue" analogy.

When we're trying to get information, negotiate, interview someone, or have an important conversation, our instinct can be to turn up the heat.

Ask the question.

Get the answer.

Move on.

But Andrés explains why taking the "barbecue" approach can be much more effective.

Instead of immediately turning up the pressure, you take the time to build rapport, develop genuine curiosity, and understand what the other person actually wants.

The result?

People often become more comfortable, more willing to share, and more open during the conversation.

💬 One of the Most Powerful Communication Techniques

Andrés gives a remarkably simple strategy for moments when someone says something unexpected during a negotiation or important conversation:

Ask another question instead of immediately defending yourself.

Rather than reacting, you can say:

"Tell me a little bit more about that."

or

"Why is that important to you?"

This gives you more information, creates space for empathy and emotional intelligence, and can prevent you from saying something defensive that you later regret.

🎯 How to Ask Better Questions

Andrés recommends starting with broad questions and allowing the other person to decide where they want to take the conversation.

For example, instead of asking:

"What's more important to you — price or payment timing?"

you might simply ask:

"What's important to you in this negotiation?"

Then listen.

If they say "price," don't immediately start negotiating price.

Ask:

"What else is important to you?"

This allows you to discover more of the other person's priorities before you start responding to them.

👂 Acknowledge Without Accepting

Another powerful lesson is the difference between acknowledging someone's perspective and agreeing with it.

You can say:

"I understand what you're saying."

"Thank you for sharing that."

"That's an interesting perspective."

without necessarily saying:

"I agree with you."

Andrés explains that listening without immediately judging or reacting can keep the "information spigot" open. If people feel that everything they say will immediately be judged, they have less reason to continue sharing.

🎭 Getting Beyond Rehearsed Answers

This is especially relevant for job interviews.

Andrés explains that candidates are often prepared for predictable questions about their strengths, weaknesses, experience, and motivations.

The result can be highly rehearsed answers.

One way to get beyond this is to ask the question differently.

Another is to change the environment.

A formal office interview can create a very different communication dynamic from a more informal conversation over coffee.

Changing the context can change the tone — and potentially lead to more authentic answers.

🌎 Communication Across Cultures

For international professionals, this conversation contains an especially important message:

While communication styles can differ between cultures, Andrés believes that some fundamental skills are valuable almost everywhere:

Preparation. Great questions. Genuine curiosity. Listening. Empathy. Emotional intelligence.

The cultural differences can then be layered on top of these fundamentals.

Whether you're communicating with colleagues in the United States, China, Germany, Brazil, or somewhere else, these core skills can improve your effectiveness.

💪 Confidence, English & Professional Communication

Curtis and Andrés also discuss something many international professionals struggle with:

The fear of saying the wrong thing in English.

Andrés makes an important distinction: confidence matters, but it needs to be supported by preparation and actual skill.

For international professionals, your accent or vocabulary doesn't necessarily determine how influential you can be.

Preparation, passion, good ideas, and the ability to communicate with the other person in mind can have a much greater impact.

👔 What Makes a Great Leader?

Andrés explains that leadership isn't necessarily about having the highest title or being the person who gives everyone orders.

People follow leaders because they believe in them.

That requires capacity, confidence, and integrity — the sense that the person leading them is capable and also has their best interests in mind.

For international professionals looking to advance their careers, this is a powerful reminder:

Communication isn't simply about speaking perfect English.

It's about demonstrating that you're prepared, capable, thoughtful, trustworthy, and able to engage other people effectively.

👤 About Andres Lares

Andres Lares is the CEO and Managing Partner of Shapiro Negotiations Institute, a company focused on negotiation, communication, influence, persuasion, presentations, and professional development.

Andrés brings an international perspective to his work and is himself a second-language English speaker, making this conversation particularly relevant for global professionals working across languages and cultures.

Shapiro Negotiations Institute has expanded globally and now works across multiple languages and international markets.

🔗 Connect with Andrés & Shapiro Negotiations Institute

🌐 Website: https://www.shapironegotiations.com/

🔗 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/shapiro-negotiations-institute/home/

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And remember:

You don't always become a better communicator by talking more. Sometimes you become a better communicator by asking better questions — and genuinely listening to the answers.