A science-based tool that helps you shift your perspective (and build your resilience)

Send us Fan Mail

In this episode, we explore the idea of “shifting your lens” — a powerful metaphor grounded in science that helps parents understand how their interpretation of a situation shapes their emotional response. Drawing on the work of psychologist James Gross and his research on cognitive reappraisal, we break down how the lens you’re wearing (like blame, control, or shame) can fuel conflict and dysregulation, especially in moments of parenting stress.

You’ll learn how to identify the lens you’re in, how to shift your lens to something more helpful (like curiosity or compassion), and how this shift not only supports your own regulation but also helps you model emotional intelligence for your child. Real-life parenting examples, practical tips, and reflection prompts will help you bring this tool into everyday moments even when things get messy.

Read our blog post here:

https://curiousneuron.com/2025/08/03/how-to-shift-your-lens-and-stay-calm-in-parenting-conflicts/

Read a science article:

For Whom and What Does Cognitive Reappraisal Help? A Prospective

Study

Watch it on YouTube:

https://youtu.be/TOURlBqtmIc

Support the show

• Join the Reflective Parent Book Club for only $9.99 for the year: https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-book-club

1. Watch my Tedx Talk on YouTube called The Over-Educated, Emotionally Underprepared Parent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDYJFY_9K9E&t=19s

• Grab my course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/