What all dads need to hear about emotions and their son's future mental health

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Today on the Reflective Parenting Podcast, I’m sitting down with Dr. Brendan Kwiatkowski-Hartman to talk about something many parents quietly wonder about:

Why do boys sometimes pull away emotionally and how can we support them without pushing too hard?

Brendan is a researcher who has spent years studying boys, masculinity, and emotional expression. What he learned in his PhD work is both reassuring and eye-opening: boys do feel deeply, even when it looks like they’ve shut down. And the reasons they hold back are often more complex and tender than we realize.

This is a grounded, thoughtful conversation, especially meaningful for dads who want to connect more with their sons but aren’t always sure where to start.

In this episode, we cover:

The two stages when boys start hiding emotions
Why boys say “I’m fine” even when they’re struggling
How to become an emotional safe space for your son
What makes it hard for dads to be vulnerable
Gentle ways to start emotional conversations with boys
The RULER model for building emotional intelligence
How to support boys who feel anxious or withdrawn
Why parents’ own emotional work matters
Practical scripts and small daily moments that build trust

Read our blog post about this topic:

https://curiousneuron.com/2025/11/15/boys-emotional-needs-study/

Learn more from Brendan below:

@re.masculine

https://remasculine.com

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36176325/

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9513388/

Support the show

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Watch my Tedx Talk on YouTube called The Over-Educated, Emotionally Underprepared Parent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDYJFY_9K9E&t=19s

Grab my course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

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