Why You Feel Disconnected During Sex

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Let's talk about what actually gets in the way of connected, present, pleasurable sex… because it is almost never what you think it is. In this episode I'm taking live listener calls from people who are done settling for sex that feels disconnected, performative, or just plain stuck. A divorced mom of two who spends every sexual encounter watching herself from the outside instead of actually feeling anything. Someone navigating intimacy after leaving a religion that made sex feel like something to be ashamed of. A 19 year old who wants to take control in the bedroom but freezes every time. And more. If you have ever felt like you were in the room but not really there, this episode is going to give you a way back in.

ABOUT EMILY:Emily Morse is a Doctor of Human Sexuality, author and host of the #1 rated Sex with Emily podcast. Known as a renowned sexologist, Dr. Emily has helped millions of people around the world navigate their sex lives. Her candid and often funny conversations challenge cultural taboos, misinformation and awkward sex talks to create a future where people can deeply connect and embrace pleasure-filled lives. Because, life is too short for bad sex.

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Chapters:

0:00 – Cold open: why we don't talk about sex like we talk about everything else
2:21 – Caller #1: breaking free from "spectatorship" during sex
8:33 – Caller #2: what to do when your partner won't go down on you
12:33 – Caller #3: postpartum libido and not enjoying receiving oral
17:07 – Caller #4: performance anxiety and disconnecting during sex
22:17 – Why focusing on your partner's pleasure can ease performance anxiety
25:22 – The trap of people-pleasing in relationships
27:07 – Caller #5: how to finally make the first move
29:11 – Caller #6: freezing up during a casual hookup
33:52 – Healing sexual shame with EMDR therapy
37:53 – Caller #7: learning to take control in the bedroom

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