Discovering Who You REALLY Are Without Booze with Sober Dave

Sober Dave quit drinking after 40 years and discovered that stopping was the easy part - the real work was figuring out who he was without it. In this conversation with Sarah, he and Sarah unpack the identity void that follows sobriety, why moderation almost never works, how to grieve the "relationship" you had with alcohol, and what to say to a partner who won't admit their drinking is a problem.

What We Cover:

• Why the hardest part of quitting drinking isn't the quitting, it's figuring out who you are afterward

• The toxic relationship pattern that explains why alcohol feels like your best friend and worst enemy at the same time

• Why moderation almost never works, and the day-by-day bargaining cycle that keeps you stuck trying

• The non-negotiable rule that shuts down the voice in your head that talks you into "just one"

• Why old triggers and cravings can still catch you off guard years into sobriety

• How to process grief and loss without reaching for alcohol

• Why you don't need to hit rock bottom or call yourself an alcoholic to decide you've outgrown drinking

  
  

Sober Dave is a UK-based sobriety coach and the voice behind the brand Sober Dave, after spending 40 years drinking before quitting alcohol for good in January 2019. He now works with people navigating the emotional side of sobriety, drawing on internal family systems and attachment theory, and hosts his own podcast, One For The Road, where he shares ongoing conversations about life beyond alcohol.

Website: https://soberdave.co.uk/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/soberdave/

Timestamps 

Introduction: What Comes After You Stop Drinking (00:00)

Dave's Story: 40 Years Of Drinking And The Year It All Fell Apart (01:05)

The Pink Cloud And The Slump That Follows It (04:47)

Why Sobriety Feels Like Grieving A Relationship (09:00)

Why Old Triggers Still Catch You Years Later (15:44)

Why You Can't Just Moderate (18:08)

The Non-Negotiable Rule That Ends The Bargaining (22:40)

Understanding Your Attachment Style And Why You Drank (26:00)

What To Say When Your Husband Won't Admit He Has A Problem (36:25)

When Sobriety Costs You Your Marriage (40:31)

Why Women Feel Guilty Taking Time For Themselves (43:59)

Practical Sobriety vs Emotional Sobriety (48:55)

Grieving A Death Without Alcohol (52:39)

Self-Worth, Shame, And Looking In The Mirror Again (01:00:46)

How To Know If You've Truly Outgrown Alcohol (01:05:00)

Who Dave Is Now, Beyond "Sober Dave" (01:09:39)

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Sarah Rusbatch is an accredited Health and Wellbeing Coach and one of Australia's leading experts on grey area drinking. Her podcast,  Stronger, Bolder, Wiser, is the go-to space for women who are questioning their relationship with alcohol, navigating life alcohol-free, or simply curious about what life could look like on the other side of the bottle.

If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who needs to hear it. And if you haven't already, subscribe so you never miss an episode, and leave a review to help more women find this community.

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Struggling to know what to do when stress, boredom or big emotions hit?

Download my free guide "100 Things to Do Instead of Drinking", a toolkit for sitting with those feelings instead of reaching for a glass of wine.

Get your free guide → https://sarahrusbatch.com/free-guide-100-things-to-do-instead-of-drinking

Find out more about my other programs here: https://sarahrusbatch.com/

If you want to join a space where women feel safe to be seen, ask the questions they don't always say out loud and connect with others going through the same, join my free Facebook group, Women's Wellbeing Collective here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/342319476897067

And if changing your relationship with alcohol is something you want to explore further, you can find my book Beyond Booze on Audible, Spotify, Kindle and Amazon. Click the link here: https://sarahrusbatch.com/beyond-booze