I Had No Idea Until My 40s | Caroline Warnes (S9E20)

This episode is presented by Mightier.

Caroline Warnes had no idea until her 40s. When her son went through his autism and ADHD diagnosis, a few bells started ringing for her too, and the two of them ended up with what she calls the twinsy diagnoses, at the same time, both of them.

Now it's just the two of them in Sydney, Australia, a tiny little family that runs on structure and routine. In this Seen and Heard conversation, Caroline talks about growing up when girls didn't get diagnosed, why crowds and jam-packed weekends don't work for either of them, and the phase when she kept moving states every time the novelty wore off. She talks about finally feeling settled back in Sydney, and about a son with a little engineer's brain being raised by a mom who's a writer.

Then there's the part aimed at the rest of us. Caroline talks about the stigma she still bumps up against, the people who think autism only looks one way, and the workplaces that pay lip service to flexibility. She once had to choose between picking her son up from school and having a job. And for anyone comparing levels, she has a gentle answer. At the end of the day, it's not a competition.

SPONSOR

This episode is presented by Mightier. Mightier is a biofeedback video game program developed and tested at Boston Children's Hospital. Your kid wears a heart rate monitor and plays games that get harder when they get dysregulated and easier when they calm down, so they practice regulation in their own body at a moment when they can feel it working. Visit https://www.mightier.com and use code theautismdad22 for 10% off.

Rob's book, So Your Child Was Just Diagnosed with Autism, comes out December 29, 2026. Preorder at https://theautismdad.com/book/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=book-preorder&utm_content=text-post

Everything else Rob does lives at https://theautismdad.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=ep-s9e20-caroline-warnes&utm_content=text-post