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The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

EP 236: Rewriting the Nervous System Story

43 min2 september 2025

Your child’s behavior isn’t telling you the whole story. Their behavior is telling you just the story their nervous system is writing in that moment.

This week, let’s continue my deep dive into my conversation with Deb Dana (episode 233), exploring how polyvagal theory offers us the hope of rewriting the nervous system story. 

We’re going to talk about the power of believing our children when they tell us the story of their nervous system and steps we can take to help them rewrite that story (if needed).


In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Why “story follows state” and how this helps us understand our children’s accusations, defensiveness, or “overreactions.”
  • How to resist getting swept into your child’s dysregulation tornado, so you can hold onto compassion (for them and yourself).
  • Practical ways to reframe behavior- like lying, defiance, and opposition- as nervous system responses instead of “badness,” and how that shift helps to rewrite their story…and why that matters. 

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/rewriting

We can't wait to review your application for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals.

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Applications are already streaming in and registration is starting to fill up!

The new Guided Journal for Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors hits the shelves on September 21!

AND! If you pre-order TWO or more copies, you can come to Baffling Behaviors LIVE! - a day-long live event for parents and caregivers in Richmond, VA on September 21. 

RobynGobbel.com/LIVE

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

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Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

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