How Shame Drives You to Obsess on Someone You Can't Have

Limerence is a weapons-grade obsession with other people you can’t actually be with. It blocks you from real love, and holds onto you like an addiction. People say limerence is a projection of who YOU really are, or a projection of the divine – but sometimes I think that toxic cloud of limerence might be generated by the ABSENCE left by your parents’ failure to truly see or love you. In this video I respond to a letter from a man who grew up in a family paralyzed by shame; now he's struggling to form a romantic relationship.

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