3. "I felt like I'd just fallen into a black hole." With Helen Hutchinson

After many years of inner healing and therapy work, an inner knowing came clearly to Helen; “I have to keep my heart open, no matter what.” Recognising that she had been living in her head, disconnected from her heart, she took the risk of speaking what was in her heart. Doing so triggered a profound energetic and emotional reaction. It was as if she was looking over the edge of a cliff with no option but to step off.

Amongst other things, we talk about having to feel all the material we were never going to reach by other means; the innate wisdom of the inner healer and how it runs the show; brief moments of being surrendered; and how the dark night is an intensification of a much longer process. We also touch on separation; the integrity that comes when we become more integrated; the bone-crushing loneliness of being in the dark night; and being wrung out like a wet cloth. Helen shares moments of both incredible pain and clarity from her journals; we discuss the question of who we are without the pain; and we ponder the ebb and flow of “moving out of the mind and into the heart.”

Helen Hutchinson lives in the beautiful Scottish Highlands. She is a taxi driver and tour guide. She is also a certified Holotropic Breathwork® facilitator and is in TRE Practitioner training (Trauma and Tension Release). Experiencing a dark night can feel so isolating, therefore Helen wishes to create connection by normalising these conversations. She co-hosts a support group for all aspects of Spiritual Emergence. You can contact her via email: highland.holotropic@gmail.com

Fiona Robertson is the author of The Dark Night of the Soul: A Journey from Absence to Presence, and Eve Was a Realist: Poems for the Untamed Heart. She works one to one with people who are going through a dark night or spiritual emergency, accompanying them in this challenging terrain as they rediscover and deepen into their real selves. She also offers a monthly dark night gathering group, and occasional workshops and a reflective space for therapists and counsellors.

Connect with Fiona

Mentions

Helen cites the Rumi quote: “You’ve been walking the water’s edge, holding up your robes to keep them dry. You must dive naked under, deeper, under a thousand times deeper! Love flows down.”

She also mentions Mark Matousek’s book, When You’re Falling, Dive: Lessons in the Art of Living.

I couldn’t find a reference for the other piece Helen quotes from. Please let us know if you have a citation for it!

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You’re welcome to contact The Dark Night of the Soul Unwrapped via email: darknightunwrapped@gmail.com

Music by James Waring / Design by Adam McKillop / Artwork by Stefan Armoneit