Start / The Empowering Parents Podcast – Child Behavior Help The Total Transformation Way / Learned helplessness in our kids

The Empowering Parents Podcast – Child Behavior Help The Total Transformation Way

Learned Helplessness in Our Kids

17 min • 14 mars 2024

When we do too much for our kids—when we over-function for them—we rob them of the skills and practice necessary to develop competence and mastery in life. Instead of learning life skills, they learn helplessness. Here's what you can do instead.

Articles referenced in episode:
https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/learned-helplessness-are-you-doing-too-much-for-your-child/

The Total Transformation® Program:
https://www.empoweringparents.com/product/total-transformation-program-subscription/

Our website:
https://www.empoweringparents.com/

Subscribe to our newsletter:
https://www.empoweringparents.com/newsletter-signup/

Parent coaching:
https://www.empoweringparents.com/product/parent-coaching/

Senaste avsnitt

Stop the Blame Game: How to Teach Your Child To Stop Making Excuses and Start Taking Responsibility

12 december 2023 | 14 min

Child Rage: How to Manage Explosive Anger in Kids and Teens

5 december 2023 | 12 min

Negative Children: How To Deal With a Complaining Child or Teen

28 november 2023 | 11 min

How To Manage Your Family During the Holidays

21 november 2023 | 11 min

What You Are and Aren't Responsible For as a Parent

14 november 2023 | 12 min

5 Secrets for Communicating With Your Teenager

7 november 2023 | 11 min

Your Child's Behaviors Explained: Dishonesty, Minsinformation, and False Apologies

24 oktober 2023 | 12 min

Your Child and Negative Role Models, Putting Things Off, and Constant Arguing

17 oktober 2023 | 9 min

Further Understanding the Characteristics of Kids With Defiant and Abusive Behaviors

10 oktober 2023 | 11 min

Victimhood, Injustice, and Other Fake Excuses for Our Child's Behavior

3 oktober 2023 | 11 min

Perfect Parents Don't Exist: Good Enough is Good Enough

27 september 2023 | 6 min

The Myth of Self-Esteem and Your Child's Behavior

19 september 2023 | 11 min

Why Does My Child Act This Way?

12 september 2023 | 12 min

Divorce and Your Child's Behavior

6 september 2023 | 13 min

How to Create a Culture of Accountability in Your Home

30 augusti 2023 | 16 min

“Our Morning Routine Isn’t Working”— 6 Ways to Fix It Now

23 augusti 2023 | 9 min

What to Do When You Dislike Your Child

16 augusti 2023 | 12 min

Perfect Parents Don’t Exist: Forgive Yourself for These 6 Parenting Mistakes

8 augusti 2023 | 15 min

Kids Who Mock, Imitate, and Make Fun of Parents

1 augusti 2023 | 9 min

The Skills Every Child Needs for Good Behavior

25 juli 2023 | 16 min

How To End the Arguing: Explain Yourself Once and Then Move On

11 juli 2023 | 7 min

Five Parenting Rules That Don’t Work: How to Separate Fact from Fiction

28 juni 2023 | 16 min

Your Defiant Child’s Behavior: What You Can—and Can’t—Control as a Parent

20 juni 2023 | 14 min

Dealing with Anger in Children and Teens: Why Is My Child So Angry?

13 juni 2023 | 19 min

How To End Your Child's Backtalk

6 juni 2023 | 16 min

Managing Adult Children Living at Home

24 maj 2023 | 19 min

Disrespectful Child Behavior? Don’t Take It Personally

16 maj 2023 | 13 min

You Are Not To Blame for Your Child’s Behavior

9 maj 2023 | 9 min

No Means No: How to Teach Your Child to Accept ‘No’ for an Answer

2 maj 2023 | 14 min

Is Your Defiant Child Damaging or Destroying Your Home?

25 april 2023 | 14 min

Do Your Kids Disrespect You? 9 Ways to Change Their Attitude

18 april 2023 | 14 min

Kids Who Ignore Consequences: 10 Ways To Make Them Stick

11 april 2023 | 15 min

When to Let Your Child Face Natural Consequences

4 april 2023 | 11 min

Life Skills: 5 Tips To Help Your Child Make It in the Real World

28 mars 2023 | 9 min

Total Transformation Program Lesson 1.7: The final segment: dishonesty and misinformation, false apologies, the turnaround, and partialization

21 mars 2023 | 12 min

Total Transformation Program Lesson 1.6: More characteristics of kids with abusive behaviors: one-way role models, wishful thinking, put-offs, and casing

14 mars 2023 | 9 min

Total Transformation Program Lesson 1.5: More characteristics of kids with abusive behaviors: concrete transactions, pride in negativity, anger with an angle, and one-way training.

7 mars 2023 | 12 min

Total Transformation Program Lesson 1.4: The characteristics of kids with abusive behaviors: the victim stance, injustice, uniqueness, and one-way boundaries

28 februari 2023 | 11 min

Total Transformation Program Lesson 1.3: The "good enough" parent

21 februari 2023 | 7 min

Total Transformation Program Lesson 1.2: Self-esteem, learning disorders, and special challenges

14 februari 2023 | 12 min

The Total Transformation Program Lesson 1.1: Why does my child act this way?

7 februari 2023 | 13 min

Does Your Child Give You the Silent Treatment? 6 Rules for Getting Kids to Talk

31 januari 2023 | 12 min

Angry Child Outbursts: 10 Essential Rules for Dealing with an Angry Child

24 januari 2023 | 15 min

Tips for Effective Consequences

17 januari 2023 | 15 min

Motivating Underachievers: 9 Steps to Take When Your Child Says “I Don’t Care”

10 januari 2023 | 17 min

9 Ways To Get Through the Holidays (or Any Time) With a Defiant Child

20 december 2022 | 12 min

The Strengths of the Oppositional Defiant Child

13 december 2022 | 11 min

Kids Who Steal: What You Need To Know

6 december 2022 | 13 min

“Am I a Bad Parent?” How to Let Go of Parenting Guilt

29 november 2022 | 14 min

How to Manage Tantrums, Misbehavior, and Meltdowns During the Holidays

22 november 2022 | 11 min

How to Use Consequences to Maintain Your Parental Authority

16 november 2022 | 11 min

"I’m Right and You’re Wrong!" Is Your Child a Know-It-All?

8 november 2022 | 12 min

When You Should Let Your Child Fail: The Benefits of Natural Consequences

26 oktober 2022 | 11 min

Ground Rules for Living With an Adult Child

18 oktober 2022 | 12 min

Manipulative Child Behavior? My Kids Are "Too Smart for Their Own Good"

11 oktober 2022 | 12 min

When Your Child Uses Anger as a Weapon

4 oktober 2022 | 17 min

Anger with an Angle: Is Your Child Using Anger to Control You?

27 september 2022 | 13 min

Creating a Family Structure and Other Parenting Wisdom From Dr. Maria Gilmour

20 september 2022 | 44 min

The Surprising Reason for Bad Child Behavior: “I Can’t Solve Problems”

13 september 2022 | 15 min

"Help! My child complains constantly!"

6 september 2022 | 7 min

Tired of Your Child’s Backtalk? Here’s How to Stop It

30 augusti 2022 | 16 min

Managing Your Child’s Meltdowns and Tantrums

23 augusti 2022 | 11 min

Motivating the Unmotivated Child

16 augusti 2022 | 14 min

Acting Out in School: What To Do When Your Child is the Class Troublemaker

9 augusti 2022 | 18 min

I Love My Child…But Sometimes I Can’t Stand Him

2 augusti 2022 | 15 min

Back to School Tips: Prepare Your Child Now for the Upcoming Year

26 juli 2022 | 13 min

Siblings at War in Your Home? Tips to Manage Sibling Rivalry

19 juli 2022 | 12 min

Do You Tiptoe Around Your Child?

12 juli 2022 | 9 min

8 Ways to Manage Acting-Out Kids

28 juni 2022 | 13 min

“I Hate You, Mom! I Wish You Were Dead!” — How to Respond When Kids Say Hurtful Things

21 juni 2022 | 13 min

Is It an Adolescent Phase—or Out-of-Control Behavior?

14 juni 2022 | 10 min

The Bullying Parent: Why Aggressive Parenting Doesn’t Work

7 juni 2022 | 10 min

Teen Curfews—How and When to Negotiate

31 maj 2022 | 9 min

Your Child Is Not Your Friend

24 maj 2022 | 14 min

Why Consequences Are Not Enough

17 maj 2022 | 19 min

Consequences 101

10 maj 2022 | 16 min

How to Talk to Your Child About Lying

3 maj 2022 | 13 min

Is the consequence we gave our son too harsh?

26 april 2022 | 7 min

Blended Families: What to Do When Your Stepchild Disrespects You

19 april 2022 | 14 min

How to Manage Poor Hygiene in Children: “My Kid Stinks-Help!”

12 april 2022 | 10 min

4 Tips to Get Kids to Clean Their Rooms

5 april 2022 | 12 min

How to Use Consequences to Maintain Your Parental Authority

29 mars 2022 | 12 min

How to Stop Threats and Verbal Abuse

22 mars 2022 | 15 min

Kids Who are Verbally Abusive: The Creation of a Defiant Child

15 mars 2022 | 15 min

How to Deal With a Mouthy Child

8 mars 2022 | 16 min

Low Self-Esteem and Your Child's Behavior

1 mars 2022 | 18 min

Our Top 8 Parenting Tips

22 februari 2022 | 11 min

“My Child Refuses to Do Homework” — How to Stop the Nightly Struggle Over Schoolwork

15 februari 2022 | 17 min

“Will My Kid Be Messed Up Forever?”

8 februari 2022 | 12 min

5 Tips to Deal With Lying in Children and Teens

1 februari 2022 | 11 min

Explain Yourself Once and Move On

25 januari 2022 | 6 min

Disrespect: How to Manage a Disrespectful Child

18 januari 2022 | 15 min

How To Stop Arguing With Your Child

23 mars 2021 | 20 min

Smart but Helpless Kids: Can Your Child Make It in the Real World?

27 februari 2015 | 9 min

How to Discipline Your Kids in Public

10 februari 2015 | 7 min

3 Parenting Styles That Undermine Your Authority

3 februari 2015 | 9 min

6 Ways to Stop Sibling Bickering and Rivalry

28 januari 2015 | 9 min

How to Talk to Your Child About Lying

20 januari 2015 | 9 min

Backtalk: Should You Ignore It?

12 januari 2015 | 7 min

4 Steps to Changing Child Behavior

5 januari 2015 | 8 min

Our 8 Best Parenting Tips for 2015

22 december 2014 | 9 min

A Message of Hope for Parents of Defiant Children

15 december 2014 | 7 min

Using Consequences to Maintain Your Parental Authority

8 december 2014 | 8 min

How to Respond to Disrespectful Children and Teens

1 december 2014 | 9 min

Anger, Guilt and Spending on Kids: 8 Questions to Ask Before Buying Anything

17 november 2014 | 7 min

Ground Rules for Living with an Adult Child

10 november 2014 | 9 min

Teen Temper Tantrums: 3 Steps to Stop the Screaming

3 november 2014 | 8 min

The Strengths of the Oppositional Defiant Child

27 oktober 2014 | 9 min

Homework and Bedtime Arguments: 8 Tips for Calmer Nights with Kids

20 oktober 2014 | 7 min

Setting Limits with Difficult Kids: Are You Too Strict?

15 oktober 2014 | 8 min

Dreading Parent-Teacher Conferences? Try This New Approach

6 oktober 2014 | 7 min

Keeping Kids Safe Online and Offline

29 september 2014 | 10 min

Our Morning Routine Isn't Working - How to Fix It Now

22 september 2014 | 8 min

6 Brain Training Exercises for Children and Teens

15 september 2014 | 9 min

Parental Anxiety? 5 Ways to Relieve the Worry

8 september 2014 | 9 min

Ask Once and Your Kid Does It: 5 Ways to Make It Happen

2 september 2014 | 7 min

8 Steps to Anger Management for Kids

26 augusti 2014 | 10 min

Your Defiant Child's Behavior: 5 Things You Can--and Can't--Control as a Parent

18 augusti 2014 | 9 min

The Surprising Reason for Bad Child Behavior: "I Can't Solve Problems"

11 augusti 2014 | 9 min

Negotiating with Kids: When You Should and Shouldn't

4 augusti 2014 | 10 min

Punishments vs. Consequences: Which Are You Using?

29 juli 2014 | 9 min

Are You Doing Too Much for Your Child?

21 juli 2014 | 11 min

4 Steps to Managing Your Child's Screen Time

14 juli 2014 | 10 min

"Sometimes I Don't Like My Child"

7 juli 2014 | 9 min

How to Talk to Your Child About Marijuana: 4 Responses for Parents

30 juni 2014 | 8 min

Is Your Child Responsible Enough to be Home Alone? Dos and Don'ts for Parents

23 juni 2014 | 9 min

Inside Your Teen's Brain: 7 Things Your Teenager Really Wants You to Know

16 juni 2014 | 8 min

Is it ADHD or Sluggish Cognitive Tempo Disorder? 4 Ways to Help Your Child Focus

9 juni 2014 | 8 min

Disrespectful Kids: How to Get Your Child or Teen to Behave with Respect

2 juni 2014 | 10 min

Life Lessons for Kids and Teens: 5 Skills Every Child Needs to Learn

27 maj 2014 | 10 min

How to Talk to Teens: 3 Ways to Get Your Teen to Listen

19 maj 2014 | 7 min

How to Stop Worrying and Avoid Helicopter Parenting: Don’t Do These 6 Things

12 maj 2014 | 8 min

5 of the Hardest Things Parents Face: How to Handle the Most Challenging Parenting Issues

5 maj 2014 | 10 min

The Cool Kids: How to Help Your Child or Teen Deal with Peer Pressure, Exclusion and Cliques

28 april 2014 | 11 min

Losing Your Temper with Your Child? 8 Steps to Help You Stay in Control

21 april 2014 | 9 min

Parenting Your Adult Child: How to Set up a Mutual Living Agreement

14 april 2014 | 11 min

Parenting Teens: 5 Ineffective Things to Avoid Doing

7 april 2014 | 8 min

Positive Parenting: 5 Rules to Help You Deal with Negative Child Behavior More Positively

31 mars 2014 | 12 min

Defiant Young Children and Toddlers: 5 Things Not to Do

24 mars 2014 | 8 min

Signs of Parental Abuse: What to Do When Your Child or Teen Hits You

17 mars 2014 | 9 min

Child Losing Steam? How to Keep Kids and Teens Motivated at School

11 mars 2014 | 10 min

In Over Your Head? How to Improve Your Child's Behavior and Regain Control as a Parent

7 mars 2014 | 9 min

How to Parent Fairly When One of Your Children Has ADHD

2 augusti 2010 | 10 min

ADHD/ADD Kids and Anger with Dr. Bob Myers

4 maj 2010 | 5 min

Raising Teens with ADHD

1 april 2010 | 6 min

Is Your ADHD Child an Expert at Making Messes?

1 mars 2010 | 4 min

ADHD Kids And Lying

1 februari 2010 | 4 min

When You Don't Like Your Child's Friends: How to Handle It as a Parent

4 januari 2010 | 4 min

Activities to Help Your ADD/ADHD Child Focus

1 december 2009 | 6 min

Dr. Bob Myers Talks about Parenting His Own Son with ADHD

1 november 2009 | 6 min

How to Help ADHD kids Focus at School

1 oktober 2009 | 5 min

What to Do When Your Child is Bullied

1 september 2009 | 5 min

Getting ADHD Kids Organized and Ready for School

1 augusti 2009 | 6 min

ADHD Kids and Annoying Behavior

2 juli 2009 | 4 min

Alternatives to Medicating Kids with ADHD

1 juni 2009 | 5 min

The Key to Giving Kids Consequences

4 maj 2009 | 4 min

How to Handle Inappropriate Behavior with ADHD Kids: Positive Reinforcement

1 april 2009 | 2 min

Giving Consequences to Young Kids with ADHD

1 mars 2009 | 4 min

Chores: Get Your Child to Start Doing Them Today

1 februari 2009 | 7 min

Teen Curfews

16 december 2008 | 4 min

Take 60 Seconds

1 oktober 2008 | 1 min

Tell Them to Do it Once

7 april 2008 | 2 min

Don't Personalize Things

7 april 2008 | 2 min

Use Task-Oriented Consequences

7 april 2008 | 4 min

Let the Child Do It

7 april 2008 | 3 min

Establish a Complaint Time

7 april 2008 | 2 min

Feedback: "This Behavior Doesn't Solve Your Problem."

28 mars 2008 | 2 min

Keep Your Child's Eyes on the Prize

12 mars 2008 | 2 min

Teens and Clothing

12 februari 2008 | 4 min

Eliminate the WHY

11 januari 2008 | 3 min

Accept Bad Moods and Bad Days

1 december 2007 | 2 min

Self-Disclosure to the Child

1 november 2007 | 3 min

Take Away the Audience

1 oktober 2007 | 2 min

Script It for the Next Time

1 september 2007 | 2 min

Halt Over-Stimulation

1 augusti 2007 | 2 min

Use Strategic Recognition and Affection

1 juli 2007 | 2 min

Actions ARE Louder than Words

1 juni 2007 | 2 min

Focus on the Behavior

1 maj 2007 | 3 min

No Speeches

1 april 2007 | 2 min

Assume Control

1 mars 2007 | 4 min

Learned Helplessness in Our Kids

Senaste avsnitt

Letting Your Child Face Natural Consequences -- Here's How

How to Deal With Your Child’s Attitude

Kids, Blaming, and Apologies: Everything After “But” is Bull

Grieving Your Child Who’s “Gone Wrong”

When Kids Get Violent: “There’s No Excuse for Abuse”

Am I a Bad Parent? Dealing With Parenting Guilt

When Kids Save Their Bad Behavior for You

Learned Helplessness in Our Kids

Parenting Tips Roundup

Stop the Nightly Struggle Over Schoolwork

Consequences 101

Parent the Child You Have, Not the Child You Wish You Had

Mother or Martyr: Are You Doing Too Much for Your Child?

Disrespectful Child Behavior: Where to Draw the Line

Your Child Is Not Your Friend

What Not to Do When Dealing With a Disrespectful Child

Is Your Child Using Anger To Control You?

Challenging Parenting Issues: The 5 Hardest Things Parents Face

Stop the Blame Game: How to Teach Your Child To Stop Making Excuses and Start Taking Responsibility

Child Rage: How to Manage Explosive Anger in Kids and Teens

Negative Children: How To Deal With a Complaining Child or Teen

How To Manage Your Family During the Holidays

What You Are and Aren't Responsible For as a Parent

5 Secrets for Communicating With Your Teenager

Your Child's Behaviors Explained: Dishonesty, Minsinformation, and False Apologies

Your Child and Negative Role Models, Putting Things Off, and Constant Arguing

Further Understanding the Characteristics of Kids With Defiant and Abusive Behaviors

Victimhood, Injustice, and Other Fake Excuses for Our Child's Behavior

Perfect Parents Don't Exist: Good Enough is Good Enough

The Myth of Self-Esteem and Your Child's Behavior

Why Does My Child Act This Way?

Divorce and Your Child's Behavior

How to Create a Culture of Accountability in Your Home

“Our Morning Routine Isn’t Working”— 6 Ways to Fix It Now

What to Do When You Dislike Your Child

Perfect Parents Don’t Exist: Forgive Yourself for These 6 Parenting Mistakes

Kids Who Mock, Imitate, and Make Fun of Parents

The Skills Every Child Needs for Good Behavior

How To End the Arguing: Explain Yourself Once and Then Move On

Five Parenting Rules That Don’t Work: How to Separate Fact from Fiction

Your Defiant Child’s Behavior: What You Can—and Can’t—Control as a Parent

Dealing with Anger in Children and Teens: Why Is My Child So Angry?

How To End Your Child's Backtalk

Managing Adult Children Living at Home

Disrespectful Child Behavior? Don’t Take It Personally

You Are Not To Blame for Your Child’s Behavior

No Means No: How to Teach Your Child to Accept ‘No’ for an Answer

Is Your Defiant Child Damaging or Destroying Your Home?

Do Your Kids Disrespect You? 9 Ways to Change Their Attitude

Kids Who Ignore Consequences: 10 Ways To Make Them Stick

When to Let Your Child Face Natural Consequences

Life Skills: 5 Tips To Help Your Child Make It in the Real World

Total Transformation Program Lesson 1.7: The final segment: dishonesty and misinformation, false apologies, the turnaround, and partialization

Total Transformation Program Lesson 1.6: More characteristics of kids with abusive behaviors: one-way role models, wishful thinking, put-offs, and casing

Total Transformation Program Lesson 1.5: More characteristics of kids with abusive behaviors: concrete transactions, pride in negativity, anger with an angle, and one-way training.

Total Transformation Program Lesson 1.4: The characteristics of kids with abusive behaviors: the victim stance, injustice, uniqueness, and one-way boundaries

Total Transformation Program Lesson 1.3: The "good enough" parent

Total Transformation Program Lesson 1.2: Self-esteem, learning disorders, and special challenges

The Total Transformation Program Lesson 1.1: Why does my child act this way?

Does Your Child Give You the Silent Treatment? 6 Rules for Getting Kids to Talk

Angry Child Outbursts: 10 Essential Rules for Dealing with an Angry Child

Tips for Effective Consequences

Motivating Underachievers: 9 Steps to Take When Your Child Says “I Don’t Care”

9 Ways To Get Through the Holidays (or Any Time) With a Defiant Child

The Strengths of the Oppositional Defiant Child

Kids Who Steal: What You Need To Know

“Am I a Bad Parent?” How to Let Go of Parenting Guilt

How to Manage Tantrums, Misbehavior, and Meltdowns During the Holidays

How to Use Consequences to Maintain Your Parental Authority

"I’m Right and You’re Wrong!" Is Your Child a Know-It-All?

When You Should Let Your Child Fail: The Benefits of Natural Consequences

Ground Rules for Living With an Adult Child

Manipulative Child Behavior? My Kids Are "Too Smart for Their Own Good"

When Your Child Uses Anger as a Weapon

Anger with an Angle: Is Your Child Using Anger to Control You?

Creating a Family Structure and Other Parenting Wisdom From Dr. Maria Gilmour

The Surprising Reason for Bad Child Behavior: “I Can’t Solve Problems”

"Help! My child complains constantly!"