22. Embracing Good Enough Mothering as your 'Self Care'

Current notions of ‘self care’ are letting mothers down. Part of the ‘perfect mother myth’ is that mothers are self sacrificial saints who have responsibility for the physical and emotional needs of the family. Yet, they are also expected to prioritize their ‘self care’ in order to continue meeting the needs of everybody else. In our individualistic culture we ask mothers to advocate for their own self care when they are already drowning in the care needs of everyone else. Considering the interplay between society and the individual, perhaps there are deeper reasons behind our ‘need’ for self-care in terms of our sense of worthiness, and living out the gendered narrative we’ve been programmed with since we were little girls. I want to flip how we think about self-care in the context of motherhood and argue that it can be a way to push back against the rhetoric of the perfect mother and patriarchal motherhood. We do this through rejecting the individualized, commercialized idea of self-care, while embracing ourselves as good enough mothers.