The Laws of Human Nature in English

Acknowledgments First and foremost, I would like to thank Anna Biller for her assistance on so many aspects of this book—including her deft editing, the endless insightful ideas she supplied me during our discussions, and all the love and support during the writing.

Meditate on Our Common Mortality The Law of Death Denial Most of us spend our lives avoiding the thought of death. Instead, the inevitability of death should be continually on our minds. Understanding the shortness of life fills us with a sense of purpose and urgency to realize our goals.

Seize the Historical Moment The Law of Generational Myopia You are born into a generation that defines who you are more than you can imagine.

See the Hostility Behind the Friendly Facade The Law of Aggression On the surface, the people around you appear so polite and civilized. But beneath the mask, they are all inevitably dealing with frustrations

Make Them Want to Follow You The Law of Fickleness Although styles of leadership change with the times, one constant remains: people are always ambivalent about those in power.

Resist the Downward Pull of the Group The Law of Conformity We have a side to our character that we are generally unaware of—our social personality, the dif erent person we become when we operate in groups of people.

Advance with a Sense of Purpose The Law of Aimlessness Unlike animals, with their instincts to guide them past dangers, we humans have to rely upon our conscious decisions

Reconnect to the Masculine or Feminine Within You The Law of Gender Rigidity All of us have masculine and feminine qualities—some of this is genetic, and some of it comes from the profound influence of the parent of the opposite sex

Know Your Limits The Law of Grandiosity We humans have a deep need to think highly of ourselves. If that opinion of our goodness, greatness, and brilliance diverges enough from reality, we become grandiose.

Beware the Fragile Ego The Law of Envy We humans are naturally compelled to compare ourselves with one another.

Confront Your Dark Side The Law of Repression People are rarely who they seem to be. Lurking beneath their polite, af able exterior is inevitably a dark, shadow side consisting of the insecurities and the aggressive, selfish impulses they repress and carefully conceal from public view.

Change Your Circumstances by Changing Your Attitude The Law of Self-sabotage Each of us has a particular way of looking at the world, of interpreting events and the actions of people around us. This is our attitude, and it determines much of what happens to us in life. If our attitude is essentially fearful, we see the negative in every circumstance. We stop ourselves from taking chances.

Soften People’s Resistance by Confirming Their Self-opinion The Law of Defensiveness Life is harsh and people competitive. We naturally must look after our own interests. We also want to feel that we are independent, doing our own bidding.

Elevate Your Perspective The Law of Shortsightedness It is in the animal part of your nature to be most impressed by what you can see and hear in the present—the latest news reports and trends, the opinions and actions of the people around you, whatever seems the most dramatic.

Become an Elusive Object of Desire The Law of Covetousness Absence and presence have very primal ef ects upon us.

Determine the Strength of People’s Character The Law of Compulsive Behavior When choosing people to work and associate with, do not be mesmerized by their reputation or taken in by the surface image they try to project.

See Through People’s Masks The Law of Role-playing People tend to wear the mask that shows them of in the best possible light—humble, confident, diligent.

Transform Self-love into Empathy The Law of Narcissism We all naturally possess the most remarkable tool for connecting to people and attaining social power—empathy.

Master Your Emotional Self The Law of Irrationality you like to imagine yourself in control of your fate, consciously planning the course of your life as best you can.

Introduction If you come across any special trait of meanness or stupidity . . . you must be careful not to let it annoy or distress you, but to look upon it merely as an addition to your knowledge—a new fact to be considered in studying the character of humanity. Your attitude towards it will be that of the mineralogist who stumbles upon a very characteristic specimen of a mineral. —Arthur Schopenhauer