Episode 14 | Why We Choose the Partners We Choose

Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC.  Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice. Episode 14: "Why We Choose the Partners We Choose," Dr. Hensley delves deep into the psychology behind partner selection, focusing on how attachment styles influence our romantic choices. She begins by explaining how each attachment style—, the fearful avoidant, the anxious pre-occupied, and the dismissive avoidant, —guides us toward certain types of partners, often driven by subconscious wounds formed in childhood. Dr. Hensley provides an in-depth analysis of the dynamics between fearful avoidants and dismissive avoidants, exploring why fearful avoidants are often drawn to partners who exhibit avoidant, narcissistic, or even abusive behaviors. She emphasizes how these dynamics are rooted in unresolved childhood needs, where the subconscious mind seeks to recreate familiar scenarios in an attempt to achieve a "happy ending." One of the key points Dr. Hensley discusses is how attachment insecurities can lead people to confuse anxiety with chemistry, resulting in strong attachments to the wrong individuals. She further examines the dismissive avoidant attachment style, shedding light on why dismissive avoidants choose the partners they do, and the patterns that emerge in these relationships. As the episode progresses, Dr. Hensley shifts focus to what happens when a securely attached person enters your life. She highlights the red flags of attachment insecurities and explains how, once you achieve attachment security, these red flags become more apparent, leading to a natural aversion—or "the ick"—toward unhealthy relationships. In the second half of the episode, Dr. Hensley dives into the characteristics and feelings that arise when the "right" person, or a securely attached partner, shows up in your life. She discusses how recognizing this kind of healthy connection is crucial for building fulfilling and lasting relationships. Dr. Hensley’s passion shines through as she expresses her mission to help as many people as possible find attachment security, ultimately leading them toward more meaningful and loving relationships. Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media. Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/group-coaching/ Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/book-appointment/ Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online course: https://dating-decoder.mykajabi.com/offers/PpEPKnsM/checkout Tik-Tok: the_dating_decoder Instagram: @the_dating_decoder Facebook: The Dating Decoder Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley What is covered: ·        Why each attachment style chooses the partner they choose. ·       What role the subconscious mind plays on partner choice.  ·       An in depth review of the most common attachment insecurity dynamic Dr. Hensley sees in her practice, the FA/DA dynamic.  ·       The confusion between anxiety and chemistry.  ·       What it looks like and feels like to attract someone who is securely attached.  .       Dr. Hensley's mission on helping as many people as possible find healthy, lasting, and fulfilling relationships.  Consider/Ask Yourself ·       What types of partners am I attracting? ·       What childhood wounds have contributed to my partner choices and am I trying to rewrite a happy ending to my childhood trauma? ·       How are my attachment insecurities contributing to my partner choices?  .       How can I start becoming securely attached so that I can start attracting a secure partner?

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