Pathological Demand Avoidance: The Everyday Struggle You Can’t See
Struggling with everyday tasks as a neurodivergent adult? In this candid and insightful episode of The Neurodivergent Experience, hosts Jordan James and Simon Scott unpack the lived reality of Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) — a form of demand sensitivity often misunderstood, dismissed, or mislabelled as laziness.
From dodging the dishwasher to putting off doctor’s appointments, and from procrastinating over paperwork to resisting even self-imposed goals, we explore:
- What PDA really is — and why the NHS still doesn’t formally recognise it
- How demands (even ones we place on ourselves) trigger an instant “no” response
- The link between PDA, trauma, anxiety, and the obsessive need for autonomy
- Why even fun things can feel impossible once they become obligations
- Practical examples: chores, eating, car washes, and the endless hurdle race of daily life
- Partner strategies — how reframing demands as favours can unlock cooperation
- Why small wins matter: celebrating every task completed as a genuine victory
- How to create accommodations that turn mountains back into molehills
Whether you’re living with PDA yourself, raising a neurodivergent child, or just want to understand why “simple” tasks aren’t simple at all, this conversation blends raw honesty, humour, and real-world strategies for navigating life when demand avoidance touches everything.
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