Feeling Embarrassed: What an Online Call-Out Taught Us About Teen Avoidance

What happens when we are the ones who feel exposed, judged, or embarrassed?

In this deeply relatable episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, Dr. Annalise Caron shares a personal story about being publicly called out on a Facebook share site — and how that moment triggered embarrassment, fear of judgment, and a strong urge to avoid taking action.

Instead of immediately “doing the right thing,” she noticed something familiar: avoidance.

And that’s where the powerful parallel emerges.

As parents, we often struggle to understand why our teens won’t send the email, return the item, fix the mistake, or address a situation directly. But when we pause and reflect on our own emotional experiences — especially moments of public embarrassment or fear of being judged — we begin to see it differently.

In this episode, Dr. Caron and Dr. Allen explore:

• What embarrassment feels like in adulthood
• The emotional experience of being publicly exposed
• Why avoidance is such a natural response to shame or judgment
• How we may misinterpret our teens’ hesitation or withdrawal
• The question to ask: “What else might be true?”
• How the Opposite Action tool can help both parents and teens move forward

Here are some highlights from the episode:

00:00 — What We Think When Our Teens Make a Mistake or Avoid Something

01:13 — Last Episode Recap: The Dog Teeth Cleaning Story

04:16 — The Commitment Made Around the Cleaning Wipes

05:45 — The Message From the Administrator on the FB Share Site

06:21 — When You Feel Exposed: The Emotional Experience

07:47 — The Worry

08:05 — The Appropriate Thing to Do

08:49 — Embarrassment, Fear of Judgment, and Being Denied: Reasons We Avoid Taking Action

10:59 — Understanding Our Teens’ and Tweens’ Emotions Through Our Own Experiences

13:42 — Our Teens Feel the Same Emotions We Do

14:24 — Why Embarrassment Is a Big Deal for Teens

15:48 — Practicing a More Compassionate View Toward Our Teens

16:14 — When Embarrassment Has Real Consequences in Teen Life

17:22 — Acknowledging That We Sometimes Misinterpret Our Kids’ Behavior

18:15 — What Else Might Be True?

19:11 — The Opposite Action Tool Recommendation

Adolescence amplifies emotions. But the core emotional experience? It’s deeply human.

This conversation is an invitation to practice empathy — not by imagining what teens feel, but by recognizing it in ourselves.

Because sometimes the best way to understand our kids… is to remember what it feels like to be human.

To listen to the “Opposite Action” episode that Dr. Allen and Dr. Caron referenced in this episode, click here: Listen here or watch here on YouTube:  Watch here 

🎙️ Subscribe for thoughtful, research-informed parenting support for tweens, teens, and college students.

DISCLAIMER: The Parenting Pair Podcast is designed for informational and educational purposes only. Do not rely
 on the information presented in this podcast as as a substitute or replacement for professional -- psychological or medical -- advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have concerns about you or a family member's well being, please contact a licensed mental health professional or physician.