What To Do If Your Teen’s Friend Is Self-Harming | A Parent’s Guide

What would you do if your teen came to you and said, “My friend is hurting themselves…”?

This is a moment many parents are unprepared for—yet it’s one that requires both sensitivity and clarity.

In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen walk you through how to respond when your child or teen shares that a friend may be engaging in self-injury. They break down what self-injury is (and what it isn’t), why teens often confide in peers instead of parents, and how to support your own child while also ensuring the safety of another teen.

You’ll learn:

• What self-injury can signal emotionally and behaviorally
• How to respond in a way that keeps your teen open and trusting
• When and how to involve other adults (parents, schools, resources)
• How to balance empathy with appropriate action
• Why this moment matters deeply for your relationship with your child

This conversation offers practical guidance grounded in clinical expertise, while also helping parents feel more confident, calm, and supported in navigating a complex and emotional situation.

If you’ve ever wondered how to handle this kind of disclosure—or want to be prepared if it happens—this episode is essential listening.

Here are some highlights from the episode:

00:00 What People Get Wrong About Self-Injury
 01:08 When Your Teen’s Friend Is Self-Injuring
01:44 What Teens Tell Friends (But Not Parents)
03:16 Understanding Self-Injury: 3 Key Areas Every Parent Should Know
04:23 What Is Self-Injury?
05:29 Self-Injury & Emotion Regulation: Understanding Both Sides
06:45 How Self-Injury Can Be a Way to Communicate Distress
09:21 What To Do If Your Teen Shares a Friend Is Self-Injurying
09:32 Step 1: Acknowledge Your Teen for Sharing
10:25 Step 2: Recognize Your Teen May Be Affected Too
11:46 Step 3: How to Support Both Teens Safely
13:46 Why Validating Your Teen Matters in These Moments
14:25 Option 1: Reaching Out to the Other Parent
14:37 Option 2: When (and How) to Involve the School
15:17 How to Approach the Other Parent About Self-Harm
17:59 What Is 211? A Resource Every Parent Should Know
18:47 Checking In With Your Teen Afterwards

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DISCLAIMER: The Parenting Pair Podcast is designed for informational and educational purposes only. Do not rely
 on the information presented in this podcast as as a substitute or replacement for professional -- psychological or medical -- advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have concerns about you or a family member's well being, please contact a licensed mental health professional or physician.