Love, Transition & Parenthood with Jake and Hannah Graf

Jaimie and special co-host José Rolón (@nycgaydad) sit down with married couple Jake and Hannah Graf — authors, advocates, and parents of two — to talk about love, transition, intentional family building, and the beautiful chaos of parenting.

Jake shares why he chose to pause testosterone and create embryos years before meeting Hannah, while Hannah opens up about transitioning while serving in the British Army and believing she’d never experience love or parenthood. Together, they talk about finding each other, navigating surrogacy as a trans couple, becoming parents during the height of the COVID lockdowns, and the powerful realization that biology is only one small piece of what makes a family.

They also discuss:

• trans fertility and preserving options for future parenthood
• why queer families are often forced to have “the big conversations” early
• the emotional realities of non-biological parenthood
• parenting through fear, uncertainty, and a global pandemic
• the importance of representation and telling joyful trans family stories
• their new children’s book, The Silly Frilly Dress

This conversation is funny, emotional, deeply affirming, and a reminder that queer families don’t just exist — we thrive.

🏳️‍🌈 Key Takeaways

• Queer family building requires extraordinary intentionality
• Fertility preservation can create future possibilities for trans people
• Non-biological parenthood is every bit as real and powerful
• Surrogates are truly life-changing partners in queer family creation
• The “instant bond” narrative around parenthood can be harmful
• Representation matters — especially joyful trans family representation
• Kids thrive when they’re allowed to express themselves authentically

🏳️‍🌈 About the guest(s)

Jake Graf is a filmmaker, writer, actor, and director based in London. A longtime advocate for trans visibility and LGBTQ+ families, Jake has worked extensively in film and television and is passionate about telling authentic queer stories.

Hannah Graf is a former British Army officer, public speaker, and advocate for trans inclusion. After becoming one of the first openly trans officers in the British Army, Hannah has used her platform to champion visibility, inclusion, and family representation.

Together, Jake and Hannah are parents to two daughters and co-authors of the children’s book The Silly Frilly Dress, a story about self-expression, identity, and allowing kids to be exactly who they are.

🏳️‍🌈 Thanks to our sponsors

California CryobankUse code QUEERFAM26 for a free level 3 subscription to their donor catalogue!

🏳️‍🌈 Resources Mentioned

• Hannah on Instagram
• Jake on Instagram
• Order The Silly Frilly Dress in the US
• Order The Silly Frilly Dress in the UK

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🏳️‍🌈 Edited by: Jerson Barajas 🏳️‍🌈 Theme Song by: Tiffany Topol 🏳️‍🌈 Logo by: Daneen Stevenato 

🏳️‍🌈 Shop merch here. 🏳️‍🌈 Full transcript & episode info available on our website

🗳️ VOTE. 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ ADVOCATE. 🍼 BUILD QUEER FAMILIES.

The information shared in this episode is for educational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice. Always consult a trusted professional for your specific situation!