#265: Children's Big Feelings

In this episode, Kim John Payne explores how young children experience emotions as full-body states, rather than isolated feelings they can easily identify and name. He expresses concern about the modern emphasis on naming emotions with young children, noting that their brain development often does not support this level of emotional analysis. Instead of asking children to explain or label their feelings, he encourages parents to simply be present, co-regulate, and help their child move through the emotional experience. One effective tool he describes is sharing an “I remember when” story from your own childhood that mirrors the feeling the child is experiencing. This offers connection and reassurance without pressure to intellectualize. Kim reminds us that this approach is not about denying feelings but about honoring them in a developmentally appropriate way and helping children return to the rhythm of their day.

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