Not Sure You Want a Divorce? How to Prepare Before You Decide, with Jenny Hutt

Should I stay or should I go? If you’re asking yourself “Should I get a divorce?”, I sat down with divorce attorney Jenny Hutt, who is separated from her husband, to talk about why gray divorce has doubled since 1990, why midlife divorce so often hits when the kids leave and an empty nest marriage goes quiet, and what to know before facing divorce after 50. If you’ve looked across the table at the person you’ve built a life with and realized you have nothing to say, you’re not alone.

In this episode, Tamsen sits down with divorce attorney Jenny Hutt, a New York family law attorney and certified divorce mediator, Of Counsel at Wisselman Harounian Family Law, and host of the Just Jenny podcast, to talk about why so many marriages end in midlife and how to make an honest decision about your own.

Jenny, who is separated from her husband, explains why so many couples wait until the kids are out of the house, how losing a parent can bring up the question “How much time do I have left?”, and why the “guns blazing” divorce you see on TV is not how it really works. Tamsen opens up about her own divorce 15 years ago, the shame she felt, and the $100,000 in marital debt she had to dig out of.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

- Why so many marriages end after the kids leave home, and what the empty nest can reveal

- How losing a parent and facing your own mortality can change the way you see your marriage

- What gray divorce is, and why divorce after 50 has doubled since 1990

- Why it’s okay not to know yet: “If you wanna reconcile tomorrow, go reconcile. There is no judgment.”

- The four things every divorce comes down to: assets, support, parenting and custody

- Why a good settlement is one where “nobody’s happy, but everybody can live with it”

- How a consultation with a divorce attorney can help you understand your rights before you decide anything

- Why the identity shift, from taking off your rings to hearing “Just one?”, can be as hard as the financial hit

Jenny practices family law in New York, and divorce laws vary from state to state, so talk with an attorney where you live about your own situation.

If you’ve ever wondered whether your marriage can be saved or whether it’s time to go, this episode will help you think it through honestly, without shame and without judgment.

If you liked this episode, then you’ll like: The #1 Relationship Expert: Finding Real Love After 40 Is Possible with Jillian Turecki and The Narcissist Decoder: How Smart Women Get Trapped in Emotional Abuse

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FOLLOW JENNY HUTT:

- Follow Jenny on Instagram

- Follow Jenny on TikTok

- Connect with Jenny on LinkedIn

- Listen to Jenny’s podcast, Just Jenny

- Listen to Just Jenny on Spotify

- Jenny at Wisselman Harounian Family Law

- Jenny’s website

- Email Jenny for a consultation: [email protected]

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

- Hope Edelman on The Tamsen Show

- You Could Make This Place Beautiful by Maggie Smith

- Strangers: A Memoir of Marriage by Belle Burden

- Family law attorney Laura Wasser

- All’s Fair on Hulu

- Wisselman Harounian Family Law

- The Gray Divorce Revolution (Brown & Lin, The Journals of Gerontology, 2012)

- The Graying of Divorce: A Half Century of Change (Brown & Lin, 2022)

- Divorce attorney Sue Moss on The Tamsen Show

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Medical Disclaimer:

The information provided in this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional regarding any medical concerns or treatment options. The views expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of The Tamsen Show.

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