Trauma Rewired

Attachment Styles and the Neurology of Relationships

57 min • 16 februari 2021

She’s back ya’ll, co-host Elisabeth Kristof, founder of Brain Based Wellness joins me again this week as we dive into attachment theory and share stories of our own relationships that highlight the research. We will be exploring the three attachment styles - anxious, dismissive, and fearful and how these relate to our dating styles and relationships with friends and the people that we care about. 

 

In this episode, I share: 

  • [3:52] In neurology there is no morality
  • [5:28] Early childhood development - Moms, don’t be too hard on yourself
  • [6:07] Learning how to heal is our life’s work
  • [6:34] Neurology is the science of hope
  • [8:00] Elisabeth shares the history of attachment theory 
  • [10:54] Overlap between trauma response and attachment style 
  • [12:45] Parental separation and codependency  
  • [14:22] Five conditions that the attachment styles are based around
  • [15:08] Other areas of our lives that attachment styles show up
  • [16:13] Elisabeth shares her attachment styles in relation to her childhood
  • [18:58] Sacrificing yourself to get love from others 
  • [21:31] My attachment styles in relation to my childhood
  • [24:06] Intimacy in avoidant dismissive attachment and anxious attachment
  • [25:23] Codependency in friendships
  • [30:44] It is normal to prioritize human connection
  • [31:30] When codependency becomes problematic
  • [32:24] Trauma bonds 
  • [35:37] Somatic practices to self regulate 
  • [36:29] The vagus nerve and dysregulation 
  • [37:53] Regulating our nervous systems and healing trauma responses 
  • [40:10] Life cycles of relationships
  • [43:10] Recovery from relationships and an increase in secure attachment
  • [44:32] Elisabeth shares how she regulates her nervous system
  • [46:24] Getting regulation from a variety of sources
  • [47:32] Thought loops are connected with physical sensations 
  • [48:38] Inner child work
  • [50:57] Movement and affirmations
  • [52:14] Self-regulation, reflection, and stability in relationships

Resources From This Episode:

Take the ‘Attachment Style Quiz’ to find out your attachment style →HERE

 

Virtual Workshop ‘Own Your Pleasure’ → Get your tickets HERE

Friday, February 26, 6pm-8pm CST

~ Join Neuro Performance Specialist Elisabeth Kristof, and Embodied Healer Melanie Holst-Collins for a 2-hour virtual workshop.

 

Work with Jennifer

25% Off a Private Coaching Session → HERE

 

Work with Elisabeth 

FREE intro to applied neurology course and morning practice → HERE

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