If I Don’t Come Back, Blackmail My Mother

Kelly and Tom come roaring out of hiatus for Downton Abbey S2:E1 to introduce a very saucy replacement ginger, explore Kelly’s canine obsession, plant a flag for the new nation of Batesylvania, proclaim that nail-filing is the new smoking, expose Tom’s crush on silent film star Clara Bow, unexpectedly root for O’Brien, do lots of all-caps SOBBING, and discuss whether or not the Dowager Countess would have been a Trekkie.  They also catch up on correspondence from several cousins, declare a Character Ceasefire, and reveal the latest title in their Downton Library, Engagements I Have Ruined: A Scrapbook by Mary Crawley.

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