33. The "High Love, High Expectations" Framework: Why It's Flawed + a Scriptural Alternative

Today I'm challenging a popular paradigm in the world of faith-based leadership: the "high love, high expectations" framework.

High expectations can be detrimental. When we set an expectation, we make our emotions and reactions dependent on another person's behavior. Essentially, we say "I will only be happy with you if you do X."

A more scriptural approach is high "faith, hope, and charity." With faith, we always believe in the child's unseen potential. With hope, we always allow for repentance and change. With charity, we respond with kindness regardless of the child's behavior.

While expectations can go unmet and be disappointed, faith, hope, and charity never fail.

Scripture References:

• Alma 7:24 ("See that ye have faith, hope, and charity.")
• Hebrews 11:1 ("Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.")
• Matthew 17:20 ("If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, nothing shall be impossible unto you.")
• 1 John 3:3 ("Every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as he is pure.)
• Ether 12:4 ("Hope comes of faith and maketh an anchor to the soul.")
• 1 Corinthians 13:4–8 (Charity)