Ep. 2 Sexual Rights in Islam (Men AND Women) | Real Talk S2 | Dr. Tesneem Alkiek and Cadar Mohamud

"The angels curse her until morning."

Yaqeen scholar Dr. Tesneem Alkiek and host Cadar Mohamud discuss a hadith that has been used to make Muslim women feel that intimacy is a debt they owe rather than something mutually built. Dr. Alkiek reads the narration alongside the tradition's own record of a wife's sexual rights, including the case of Abu al-Darda (ra) and the men called home from campaign for their wives' sake, and explains the classical legal principle of ta'assuf fi istiʿmal al-haqq, the wrongful exercise of a legitimate right.

What happens when a wife is exhausted, postpartum, grieving, or unwell? Where does the Shariah place limits on a husband's claim, and what did the Prophet ﷺ expect of a man before he approached his wife at all?

To learn more read: Marriage and Gender Roles in Islam: Beyond Rights and Duties to learn more: https://yqn.io/57f244

0:00 The Hadith About Intimacy and the Angels’ Curse
1:02 When This Hadith Is Misused
2:45 Does a Wife Exist to Please Her Husband?
4:34 Are Women’s Sexual Needs Acknowledged in Islam?
6:30 How the Companions Protected Women’s Intimate Rights
9:35 What the Qur’an Says About Withholding Intimacy
12:08 Can a Spouse Refuse Intimacy?
12:52 Having Rights vs. Abusing Your Rights
15:04 The Prophetic Ethics of Marriage
19:16 When Hadith Is Weaponized
23:30 What Husbands and Wives Should Take From This Hadith
25:50 “Do Women Exist to Please Their Husbands?”
26:43 How Our Expectations of Marriage Have Changed
30:07 Reframing Sacrifice in Marriage
32:02 You Don’t Exist to Please Your Husband
33:25 Do Women Sacrifice More in Marriage?
37:18 Intimacy as an Act of Worship
39:21 What Does the Hadith Actually Mean?
40:22 Withholding Your Spouse’s Rights Out of Spite
42:19 Intimacy Isn’t Always Like the Movies
43:17 What Does This Look Like in a Real Marriage?
44:30 Communication, Compatibility, and Counseling
45:37 Sacrifice Should Never Mean Harm or Coercion
47:04 Rights, Ethics, and the Prophetic Vision of Marriage