Understanding Self-Sabotaging Behaviors and Why We Do Them

Instead of seeing these behaviors as flaws, Sarah invites you to view them through a more compassionate lens. You’ll also get tools to regulate your nervous system and reparent your younger parts, so that you can move beyond survival and break free from self-sabotaging cycles. Join Sarah for a powerful episode that will help you see yourself with greater understanding and move toward the life you truly want.

Episode Highlights:
• [00:00] Introduction
• [00:44] Celebrating 100 episodes
• [06:46] The purpose of coping strategies and self-sabotage
• [08:58] Common coping and numbing strategies
• [16:29] Why you shouldn’t instantly remove coping strategies
• [18:41] How self-sabotage protects us from what feels unsafe
• [20:23] Understanding how the nervous system and parts work together
• [22:57] How protective parts keep us from the life we want
• [29:00] Reparenting younger parts to create lasting change
• [34:00] Question 1 - Why do I pull back after putting myself out into the world?
• [39:55] Question 2 - How can I help my teenager develop healthier technology habits?
• [48:42] Question 3 - Why do I still self-sabotage when life is going well?

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Quotes:
“Here's what's important to understand: self-sabotage and coping strategies are not sabotage; they are our nervous system and our protective parts trying to keep us safe.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:07:15]
“The purpose of a coping strategy is to numb us or disconnect us from whatever it is that we are experiencing in our body that does not feel good.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:07:28]
“Self-sabotage is not meant to destroy your life. Self-sabotage is actually self-protection.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:18:45]
“We have to actually build a relationship with these parts of us. Instead of just trying to get out of that prison that we're in and step towards the life we want, we have to turn towards the young people who are inside of that prison with us. Those are your younger parts.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:29:08]
“When it comes to coping strategies or self-sabotage, I want you to remember every person on the planet is using these to some degree. You're not alone.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:31:26]