Q&A #1: Should I let my child hit me, or a pillow?

This episode kicks off a series of new episodes that I'm very excited about, which is based on listeners' questions. My goal is to produce shorter episodes that cut across the research base to help you answer the questions that are on your mind about your child's behavior and development.   Our first question comes from Dee in New Zealand, who wants to know: should she should do what her preschooler is asking and buy a pair of inflatable boxing gloves so he can hit her when he's feeling angry. Or would hitting a pillow be a better option?   If you'd like to submit your own question, you can record a video of yourself asking it in two minutes or less, upload it to a platform like Drive or Dropbox, and send a link to it at [email protected]. Alternatively you can go to the homepage and click the button to record your question for an audio-only option.   Ready to break free from the cycle of triggered reactions and conflict in your parenting journey? If you want to: 😟 Be triggered less often by your child’s behavior, 😐 React from a place of compassion and empathy instead of anger and frustration, 😊 Respond to your child from a place that’s aligned with your values rather than reacting in the heat of the moment,   the Taming Your Triggers workshop will help you make this shift.   Join us to transform conflict into connection and reclaim peace in your parenting journey.   Click the banner to learn more!     Other episode referenced: Episode 159, Supporting girls' relationships with Dr. Marnina Gonick   Jump to highlights 02:18 Parent Dee’s question about her child 04:02 The six things going on in the question 06:19 The Catharsis Theory 07:18 Pointing out the difference in terminology about anger and aggression 09:38 Most of the research has studied cognitive behavioral therapy as a treatment for anger and aggression 11:22 The difference between adults and children in navigating situations 13:10 Anger in girls and boys 14:42 Addressing the difficult behavior instead of the reason for the behavior 16:00 The importance of self-regulation in managing feelings of anger 17:06 Most of us didn’t have great role models for how to cope with anger 22:23 Things to do to help a child regulate their feelings