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10% Happier with Dan Harris

What Attachment Style Are You? How To Know, Why It Matters, and How To Change It If You Need To | Amir Levine

1 tim 5 min15 juni 2026

Your health, relationships, and self-esteem all hinge on your attachment style. Here's how to know if you're anxious or avoidant — and how to get more secure.

Dr. Amir Levine is a Columbia-trained psychiatrist and neuroscientist and coauthor of the multi-million-copy bestseller Attached, which brought attachment theory into mainstream conversation and remains the #1 book on Amazon in Relationships more than a decade later. His new book Secure expands this work into emotional regulation and everyday well-being.

In this episode we talk about:

  • What attachment theory is
  • The four attachment styles — anxious, avoidant, secure, and fearful avoidant — and how to identify which one you are
  • Why your attachment style is not fixed and how it can change
  • What happens in your brain when you're ignored or excluded
  • How being securely connected can extend your life
  • The five pillars of a secure life
  • How to right-size a relationship with someone unreliable
  • Small, seemingly insignificant daily interactions as vehicles for change
  • Two rules of secure engagement that can defuse almost any argument
  • Why anxious and avoidant attachment styles each have genuine superpowers
  • How to build your "attachment topography"

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