Field Report: The UPF Free Experiment Has Gone Badly Wrong

This week’s update is… brief.

After confidently declaring I would attempt a week of ultra-processed-food-free living, I made it:

👉 One day.

And now I am recording this hunched over a sick bowl in what can only be described as the pink fluffy gown of shame.

Is it norovirus?

Is it food poisoning?

Is it my body rebelling against actual vegetables?

We do not yet know.

What we do know:

• Cooking is dangerous

• My stomach muscles are shot

• The commitment to this podcast remains intact

Full debrief on Monday — assuming I survive.

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