Ultra-Processed Foods: Are They Actually Killing Us? (Because I Eat Them Constantly)

This week on Field Notes, we enter the land of: Ultra-Processed Food.

According to certain very serious doctors on the internet, UPFs are now:

“The leading cause of early death on planet earth. Ahead of tobacco.”

Cool.

Not dramatic at all.

So naturally, I’ve decided to test whether cutting them out for a week will:

Improve my migraines
Reduce my exhaustion
Fix my yo-yo weight history
Or simply make me feral and resentful

Because unfortunately… most of the things listed as “ultra-processed” are the things I actually eat.

🥪 In This Episode We Discuss:

What actually counts as Ultra-Processed Food (and how inconsistent the definitions are)
The claim that UPFs are worse than tobacco
The inflammation / microbiome argument
The counter-argument from registered dietitians
Whether the research is observational or causal
Food anxiety vs legitimate health concern
My chaotic personal diet
Growing up on enforced raw spinach
Cheese-based GCSE breakdowns
Yo-yo weight cycles and hyper-palatable food
Ozempic changing the household food dynamic
Whether non-UPF eating is realistic with children
Why I eat like a 19-year-old boy with a student loan
And whether “whole foods” are actually practical in real life

🍽 Personal Context (Aka Why This Is a Problem)

My current diet includes:

Fistfuls of turkey
Salt & vinegar crisps
Tuna pasta
Mushroom coffee
Minimal fruit
Suspiciously little fibre

Meanwhile the internet is telling me my gut lining is dissolving and my liver is weeping.

So this week I attempt to go:

👉 UPF-Free (or as close as I can manage)

And we’ll see whether:

My energy changes
My migraines shift
My mood improves
Or whether I simply miss crisps

🧠 Bigger Questions

Are we pathologising modern food?
Is this another wellness panic?
Or is the hyper-palatable environment genuinely wrecking us?
Can a busy parent realistically cook everything from scratch?
And why does cutting processed food feel so emotionally loaded?

👵 Guru & Granny Returns

This week’s dilemma:

“I’ve narrowed it down to three husband contenders. How do I choose?”

Featuring:

The Strong Stomach Theory™
The Chap Olympiad
Escape room testing
Vomit resilience
And a brief detour into secret families

You’re welcome.

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👉 Atomic Habits by James Clear

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Share this episode with someone who:

Owns at least three types of oat milk
Is suspicious of emulsifiers
Or eats crisps in the car and calls it “lunch”

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