#283: Friday the 13th Part 3

Friday the 13th Part 3 finally gets the BMR treatment, and the Human Movie Database is back in the room to help survive it. Ryan Farrell returns after four months away, the same crew from Part 2 is assembled, and Jason is now a ripped pro wrestler in a hockey mask that only exists because a lighting test went sideways.

Steve Miner (or Stefan, depending who you ask) shoots the whole thing in 3D, so laundry poles, yo-yos, and the slowest harpoon in horror history are aimed straight at your face. The disco credits never charted, except in gay nightclubs. The movie knocked E.T. out of the number-one spot. Harold is eating donuts off the shelf and getting murdered on the toilet. A biker named Loco attacks a rope. Somebody has hammock sex. Somebody else dies mid-handstand. And Chris delivers a backstory monologue so stiff it got studied in academia.

We cover the accidental birth of the mask, the barn Jason was just trying to nap in, why Part 2 suddenly looks like Cannes, and whether anyone in this cast can say a line like a human being. Awards get handed out. The final verdict does not get spoiled here.

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