7. How to get kids to cooperate with less yelling and threats - Force vs Power

Sometimes the fastest way to get your kids to do what you want creates a much bigger mess afterwards.

Yelling, threatening or simply overpowering a situation can work in the moment, but Jake Casella argues there’s often a better option: using ‘power’ instead of ‘force’.

Through his own very imperfect parenting moments, Jake explores how dads can stay in control without always needing to take control, and why understanding what your child actually needs can make cooperation a whole lot easier.

Jake is a friend, father, qualified psychotherapist, social worker, educator, and kids resilience coach with 10 years experience in casework, coaching and educating children, including two years developing and delivering school-based resilience programs.

In this episode, Jake shares:

• The difference between using power and force with your kids, and why both can have a place in parenting.
• Why using too much force leads to having to repair the relationship afterwards.
• The times when force can actually be appropriate.
• The reason why yelling, threats and other forceful reactions can become our automatic response.
• How considering your child’s unmet needs can help you respond with more empathy.
• Simple ways to use power that work for both you and your child.
• Why giving kids some control and autonomy can make them much more willing to cooperate.
• How to reflect and repair when you do lose your cool.

KEY QUOTES

“When you use too much force, things break.”

“When you are trying to use power, you need to think about the exact scenario going on right now and what leverage do you have.”

“The minute that I reflect on those needs, I feel compassion and empathy.”

MORE ABOUT JAKE

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SUPPORTING RESEARCH

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Podcast produced by The Podcast Butler

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