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No Such Thing As A Fish
Award-winning podcast from the QI offices in which the writers of the hit BBC show discuss the best things they’ve found out this week.
Hosted by Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland) with James Harkin (@jamesharkin), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm), and Anna Ptaszynski (#GetAnnaOnTwitter)
Avsnitt
583: No Such Thing As A Tuna Macchiato
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582: No Such Thing As Siegfried Bassoon
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581: No Such Thing As Clean Victoria
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580: No Such Thing As Bin Day On A Nuclear Submarine
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579: No Such Thing As Indiana Jones And The Rare Burrito
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578: No Such Thing As A Pouched Rat On The Housing Ladder
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577: No Such Thing As A Venetian Barge
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576: No Such Thing As A Cursed Cage
Club Fish - Drop Us A Line - March 2025
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575: No Such Thing As A Guinea Pig Saloon
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574: No Such Thing as Pyramids in Johannesburg
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573: No Such Thing As Captain Birdseye's Caribou Sausage
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572: No Such Thing As A Simon Cowell Bell
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571: No Such Thing As Dudley And The Dippers
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570: No Such Thing As Clay Valentines Cards
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569: No Such Thing As Jousting Parrotfish
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568: No Such Thing As A Glof Club
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567: No Such Thing As A Honey Badger On Toast
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566: No Such Thing As Bob Dylan on Mars
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565: No Such Thing As Tickling A Monk
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564: No Such Thing As Water Floating On Water
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563: No Such Thing As Bananas In The Vatican
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562: No Such Thing As The Jam Of Entertainment
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561: No Such Thing As Hot Golf Balls
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560: No Such Thing As Spanish Toes
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559: No Such Thing As Fishing In The Sea Of Tranquility
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558: No Such Thing As A Boomerang Shaped Spaceship
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557: No Such Thing As A Sweater For Einstein
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556: No Such Thing As A Ghost In Blue Jeans
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555: No Such Thing As Catherine Of Croydon
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554: No Such Thing As A Dragonfish At The Opticians
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553: No Such Thing As A Shooting Star
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552: No Such Thing As I Love I Love Lucy
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551: No Such Thing As President Iceberg
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550: No Such Thing as an Ice Cream at Stonehenge
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549: No Such Thing As A Beaver Walking Backwards
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548: No Such Thing As Radioactive Jenga
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547: No Such Thing As A Mystic Beluga
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546: No Such Thing As A Sausage In The Exam Hall
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545: No Such Thing As Lightning At Sea
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544: No Such Thing As An Accidental Stuffed Crust
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543: No Such Thing As Ice Skating On Stilts
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542: No Such Thing As Darts Vader
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541: No Such Thing As A Sycamore In A Silver Coat
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540: No Such Thing As The Three Gorgeous Dams
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539: No Such Thing As Kimchi Pirates
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538: No Such Thing As A Sausage Cat
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537: No Such Thing As The Notorious British Institute of Graphologists
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536: No Such Thing As A Soaring Chinchilla
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535: No Such Thing As An Inside-Out Dolphin
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534: No Such Thing As The SS Enterprise
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533: No Such Thing As The Farto Phone
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532: No Such Thing As 'Is It Mushroom?'
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531: No Such Thing As A Teaspoon of Coal
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530: No Such Thing As A Throbberthrob
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529: No Such Thing As A Badger Love Note
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528: No Such Thing As A Toilet Haiku
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527: No Such Thing As A Rum and Woke
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526: No Such Thing As An Angry Banana
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525: No Such Thing As A Clenched Shin
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524: No Such Thing As The Grand Old Dug Of Cardiff
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523: No Such Thing As A Dice The Size Of The Universe
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522: No Such Thing As Monet's Bog Cottons
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521: No Such Thing As A Human-Sized Peanut
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520: No Such Thing As A Prehistoric Air Fryer
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519: No Such Thing As A Noice Computer
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518: No Such Thing As Andrew Marvell's Cinematic Universe
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517: No Such Thing As Julius Caesar's Dad Jokes
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516: No Such Thing As Zeno's Harbour
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515: No Such Thing As A Reindeer Stockbroker
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BONUS: Drop Us A Line - January 2024
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514: No Such Thing As A Computer Tower
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513: No Such Thing As Upside-Down Space Rain
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512: No Such Thing As A Dirty Bar Of Soap
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511: No Such Thing As An Honest Washing Machine
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510: No Such Thing As Pumpkin Spice Moss
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509: No Such Thing As A Sausage Dog Helicopter
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508: No Such Thing As A Dragon Walk
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507: No Such Thing As Fangtooth Boxing
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506: No Such Thing As Jenga Cop
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505: No Such Thing As Hitchcock's 'The Worms'
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504: No Such Thing As Captive Willy
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503: No Such Thing As Meat Cute
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502: No Such Thing As The Opposite Of February
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501: No Such Thing As Republican Barbie
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500: No Such Thing As A Cougar Called Jeff
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499: No Such Thing As Old Testament Podcasts
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498: No Such Thing As Internal Eyebrows
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497: No Such Thing As Oceans Eleven with Puffins
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496: No Such Thing As Viking Snooker
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495: No Such Thing As A Peanut Hall of Fame
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494: No Such Thing As A Human Wind Turbine
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493: No Such Thing As An X
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492: No Such Thing As York Minster Crisps
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491: No Such Thing As The Beurre War
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490: No Such Thing As Whistling At A Fact
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489: No Such Thing As A Quiet Whitsuntide
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488: No Such Thing As A Furby in Space
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487: No Such Thing As A Short Dalek
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486: No Such Thing As Purplue
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BONUS: Drop Us A Line - June 2023
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485: No Such Thing As Ballet On A Staircase
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484: No Such Thing As An Exploding Janitor
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483: No Such Thing As Rivets On A Tombstone
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482: No Such Thing As Parachuting Into Hollyoaks
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481: No Such Thing As Taming A Plane
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480: No Such Thing As President Muffler
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479: No Such Thing As Fake Coal
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478: No Such Thing As An Award-Winning Gecko
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477: No Such Thing As ShatGPT
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476: No Such Thing As Othello's Casio
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475: No Such Thing As The Three Little Pigs of Wall Street
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474: No Such Thing As A Remote Controlled Cabbie
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473: No Such Thing As Rice Babies
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472: No Such Thing As A Giant Otter In H&M
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471: No Such Thing As A Toin Coss
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470: No Such Thing As A Walking Stick Full of Bagels
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469: No Such Thing As A Rubik's Tube
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468: No Such Thing As Drama-Free Pringles
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467: No Such Thing As Free Laundry
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466: No Such Thing As Political Moss
465: No Such Thing As An Itching Powder Guild
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464: No Such Thing As An Average Bucket
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463: No Such Thing As An Especially Attractive Barge
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462: No Such Thing As A Luigi Board
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461: No Such Thing as the Milkmaid's Tale
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460: No Such Thing as Proust's Sausage Roll
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459: No Such Thing As A Bee On The Moon
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458: No Such Thing As An Edam Tuba
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457: No Such Thing As An Acoustic Tram
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456: No Such Thing As Glass in the Future
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455: No Such Thing As A Suspicious Duffel Bag
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454: No Such Thing As A Midsummer Night's Bream
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453: No Such Thing As James Cameron's Worms
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452: No Such Thing As Lemming Atlantis
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451: No Such Thing As Deckchair Wrestling
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450: No Such Thing As A Deep Drawer
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449: No Such Thing As the Blancmange Olympics
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448: No Such Thing As Pastries in Alleyways
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447: No Such Thing As A Rabbit-Cabbage Hybrid
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446: No Such Thing As A Ninja Wearing Clogs
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445: No Such Thing As Genghis Khan in Wimbledon
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444: No Such Thing As Duck Bill Hickok
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443: No Such Thing As The Little Spreadsheet Loving Mermaid
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442: No Such Thing As Borkenstein's Monster
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441: No Such Thing As Spying With Ritz Crackers
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440: No Such Thing As Death By 1000 Scallops
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439: No Such Thing As A Finger Fish
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438: No Such Thing As A Candyfloss Blimp
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437: No Such Thing As A Face Mite With A Laptop
436: No Such Thing As An Alexa In Heaven
435: No Such Thing As An Arm-Wrestling Chihuahua
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434: No Such Thing As Robinson Two-Soe
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433: No Such Thing As A Golden Chicken
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432: No Such Thing As Sexygesimal Time
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431: No Such Thing As A Vampire From Devon
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430: No Such Thing As The Assistant Honcho
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No Such Thing As A Royal Seal
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429: No Such Thing As Newsbite
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428: No Such Thing As Free Urine In The Uber
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427: No Such Thing As A Magnetic Skateboard
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426: No Such Thing As The Man-Trap Of Walford
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425: No Such Thing As The Ken Ages
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424: No Such Thing As An Ark For Peanuts
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423: No Such Thing As A Seminole Sorting Hat
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422: No Such Thing as The Long Kiss Good Brie
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421: No Such Thing As An Elephant On A Chessboard
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420: No Such Thing As An Actor Called Macbeth
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419: No Such Thing As SpongeBob with Worms
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418: No Such Thing As A Pub Full of Corgis
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417: No Such Thing As A Guide Dog Called Neil
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416: No Such Thing As The Turin Towelette
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415: No Such Thing As Tiddlywinks In The Wild West
414: No Such Thing As Miles Davis's Jazzercise Workouts
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413: No Such Thing As Squid Playing Games
412: No Such Thing As A John Lennon Statue in Svalbard
411: No Such Thing As Cristiano Ronaldo Eating Pistachios
410: No Such Thing As A Cheesus Christ
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409: No Such Thing As Reverend Christian Book
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408: No Such Thing As A 'Waiting For Godot' Action Figure
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407: No Such Thing As An Echidna With An After Eight Mint
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406: No Such Thing As Batman And Thrush
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405: No Such Thing As Caviar-Flavoured Water
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403: No Such Thing As The Buckingham Palace All-Day Breakfast
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402: No Such Thing As A Pig Playing Fortnite
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401: No Such Thing As Scandalnavia
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400: No Such Thing As A Pope In A Helicopter
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399: No Such Thing As Larry Grayson's Shut That Cock
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398: No Such Thing As An Upside-Down Upside-Down Bat
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397: No Such Thing As Sexy Toda Milkman Time
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396: No Such Thing As The Echidna Prince Charming
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395: No Such Thing As A Kryptonite Drill
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394: No Such Thing As A Fourteen Humped Camel
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393: No Such Thing As Charlie And The Sperm Factory
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392: No Such Thing As An Ancient Persian Badger
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391: No Such Thing As A Sausage Swingboat
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390: No Such Thing As The Chronicles of Chelmsford
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389: No Such Thing As A Semen Chest
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388: No Such Thing As A Danquito
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387: No Such Thing As The Northern Lights
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386: No Such Thing As Enough Bathtubs
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385: No Such Thing As Crossing the Futility Boundary
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384: No Such Thing As Jiminy's Cricket Shop
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383: No Such Thing As A Mead-Based Maasai Gameshow
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382: No Such Thing As A Waiter Made Of Potatoes
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381: No Such Thing As A Safe Toothpick
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380: No Such Thing As The Virgin Mary Toast Reunion Tour
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379: No Such Thing As A Ping Pong Ballbag
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378: No Such Thing As A Reverse-Waterslide
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377: No Such Thing As The Mole Street Journal
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376: No Such Thing As Hamil-Son The Musical
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375: No Such Thing As A Holiday On Uranus
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374: No Such Thing As Tarzan In A Waterpark
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373: No Such Thing As The Handshake Police
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372: No Such Thing As A Dinosaur For Goldilocks
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371: No Such Thing As A Welcome Lasagne
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370: No Such Thing As George Clooney In A Blackcurrant Suit
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369: No Such Thing As Quartz For The Courts
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368: No Such Thing As The Knipper And The Corpse
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367: No Such Thing As A Horse Drawn Segway
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366: No Such Thing As Listening To Your Marmalade
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365: No Such Thing As A Smart Cheetah At Harvard
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No Such Thing As Enough Money For Comic Relief
364: No Such Thing As Kylie Minnow
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363: No Such Thing As A Squiggly Pineapple
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362: No Such Thing As Batman and Robinette
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361: No Such Thing As The Mosquito Effect
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360: No Such Thing As May Pole Syrup
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359: No Such Thing As A Sneaky Badger Swapsie
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358: No Such Thing As The Gunfight At The Amazing Corral
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357: No Such Thing As A Rapidly Deflating Walrus
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356: No Such Thing As Potter The Great
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355: No Such Thing As The Big Bad Virginia Woolf
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354: No Such Thing As Worrying About What Might Happen
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353: No Such Thing As Hans Gruber's Silent Night
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352: No Such Thing As Loki-day
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351: No Such Thing As Pop Charts for Bagpipers
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350: No Such Thing As Tickling Baseball Players
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349: No Such Thing As Tug of War for Clowns
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348: No Such Thing As Infinite Toilet Paper
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347: No Such Thing As A Bacon Scented Sleep Mask
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346: No Such Thing As An Unsexy Astronaut
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345: No Such Thing As A Sideways Treadmill
344: No Such Thing As The Icelandic Trampoline Corps
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343: No Such Thing As A Dolphin In An Escape Room
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342: No Such Thing As A Presidential Fight Club
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341: No Such Thing As A May-I Sandwich
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340: No Such Thing As A Didgeridoo in a Bar
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339: No Such Thing As A Penguin in a Nightclub
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338: No Such Thing As Carthaginian YouTube
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337: No Such Thing As A Triangular Rectangle
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336: No Such Thing As A Delicious Emergency Salad
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335: No Such Thing As A Cardigan For Ginger Rogers
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334: No Such Thing As A Babysitter's Trade Union
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333: No Such Thing As Fingerprints On The Avocados
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332: No Such Thing As An Innocent Apple
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331: No Such Thing As A Queen In A Fig Tree
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330: No Such Thing As An Antarctic Vindaloo
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329: No Such Thing As A Female Cereal Mascot
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328: No Such Thing As A Romantic Lollipop
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327: No Such Thing As A SCUBA Diver In A Tree
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No Such Thing As The iSausage
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326: No Such Thing As An Infortunate Occurrence
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325: No Such Thing As An Earwig Family Zoom Chat
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324: No Such Thing As Mambo No. 2
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323: No Such Thing As Floating Vaseline
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322: No Such Thing As A Crown Of Willie Thornes
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321: No Such Thing As A Frothy Beer
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320: No Such Thing As A Hairy Gearstick
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319: No Such Thing As 19th Century Feudal Japanese Monopoly
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318: No Such Thing As 'Of Quails and Men'
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317: No Such Thing As Panic Buying Frankincense
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316: No Such Thing As a Leg Made from Milk
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315: No Such Thing As Tedious Moss
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314: No Such Thing As A Tiny Ferris Wheel
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313: No Such Thing As A Dangerous Coconut
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312: No Such Thing As Quentin Tarantino's Bambi
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311: No Such Thing As A Michelangel-ogram
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310: No Such Thing As A Mungmonger
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309: No Such Thing As The Best Bubble
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308: No Such Thing As The Land Of Flying Sheep
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307: No Such Thing As EastEnders, The Opera
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306: No Such Thing As Heavy Snuggle-Pupping
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305: No Such Thing As A Sentient Jelly
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304: No Such Thing As A Phantasmic Foot
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303: No Such Thing As Suckling's Column
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302: No Such Thing As A Hedgehog Circus
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Audiobook Of The Year 2019 Preview
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301: No Such Thing As The Queen's Christmas Burlesque
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300: No Such Thing As Swimming In The Sky
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299: No Such Thing As A Conscientious Brunette
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298: No Such Thing As An Emotional Support Amoeba
297: No Such Thing As A Shrimp Conga
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296: No Such Thing As A Glowing Ballet Dancer
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295: No Such Thing As A 200m Baguette
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294: No Such Thing As A 15-Hour Working Week
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss hand-drawn stockings, raccoon-damaged temples, and the doomsday aircraft destroyed by a single bird.
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293: No Such Thing As A Sexy Ceiling Fan
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292: No Such Thing as a Blatant Plug for the Book of the Year 2019
The Book Of The Year 2019 is out now!
Amazon:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Book-Year-2019-Such-Thing/dp/1786332019
Apple Books: https://books.apple.com/gb/book/the-book-of-the-year-2019/id1462378633
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291: No Such Thing As A Quintruple-Cooked Chip
290: No Such Thing As A Winter Fax Machine
289: No Such Thing As A Horse Called Brian
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288: No Such Thing As An Elephant In The Airport
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287: No Such Thing As Pets In Heaven
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286: No Such Thing As A Banana With Wifi
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285: No Such Thing As Giving Birth Up A Climbing Wall
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284: No Such Thing As Salty Yeti Bones
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283: No Such Thing As A Lost Shadow
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282: No Such Thing As A Bored Shrew
281: No Such Thing As A Chatty Cow
280: No Such Thing As A Permanently Latvian Bear
279: No Such Thing As A Backflipping Doctor
278: No Such Thing As A Herring-Okapi Hybrid
277: No Such Thing As An Elephant Polo Rider In A Sombrero
276: No Such Thing As A Ninja With A Cat
275: No Such Thing As A Squashed Microbe
274: No Such Thing As A Polite Baby
273: No Such Thing As A Scuba Diver Covered With Meat
272: No Such Thing As A Non-Judgemental Herring
271: No Such Thing As A Safe Robot
270: No Such Thing As BIG SHERLOCK HOLMES
269: No Such Thing As Singing The Sport
Live from Salford, Dan, James, Andrew and Anna discuss canine height restrictions, finch bite quotients, and the Manchester Of The East.
268: No Such Thing As Welsh Guinness
Live from Dublin, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss miniature miniature trains, bees in mourning, and unholy transplants.
267: No Such Thing As Mission Impossible For Slugs
Live from Newcastle, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss superglued frogs, how to get into an Ancient Turkish house, and the Oscar won by nobody.
266: No Such Thing As An Innocent Pisces Sign
Live from Cardiff, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Comic Sans engravings, nut products with no nuts, and transient jellyfish anuses.
265: No Such Thing As A Hole In The Bowl
Live from Redruth, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Disney-themed punishment, grandfather clocks, and George Eliot's massive right hand.
264: No Such Thing As Bikes In Space
Live from Barnstaple, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss live scarecrows, the first ever caravan holiday, and the billionaire with only three things to say.
263: No Such Thing As Millipede Lipbalm
Live from Cambridge, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss silk-spinning goats, the invention of the scooter, and millipede PR problems.
262: No Such Thing As A Man In A Wine Bottle
Live from the Eventim Apollo in Hammersmith, Dan, James. Anna and Andy discuss time-travelling swordfish, the actor who reviewed his own plays, and Waddington's cattle semen trading board game.
261: No Such Thing As A Chocolate Train
Live from Uffculme, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss chocolate gramophones, licking your own forehead and Icelandic sheep dating.
260: No Such Thing As A Giant War Sausage
Live from Aberdeen, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the banning of sliced bread, broken turtle penises and muscly bums.Episode 260 - No Such Thing As A Giant War Sausage
259: No Such Thing As Flyagra
Live from Glasgow, Dan, James, Andrew and Anna discuss fly dating, 69ing on American roadways, and predicting the future with asparagus
258: No Such Thing As A Brutally Honest Yoga Mat
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss plumbing detectives, guinea pigs in the freezer, and the Head of Cybersecurity who's never used a computer.
257: No Such Thing As A Squilkman
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss kissing hedgehogs, the time on Saturn, and competitive ploughing.
256: No Such Thing As A Puddle Photographer
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss flirty cuttlefish, rooster beer and the best weather for starting a business.
255: No Such Thing As A Bouncy Asteroid
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss skimming meteors, snowy bacteria, and incorrectly formatted declarations of war.
254: No Such Thing As A Toilet In The Car
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss gingerbread in the toilet, the invention of wing mirrors, and silent movie bags.
253: No Such Thing As Dolphins At The United Nations
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss talking NASA dolphins, Robert Louis Stevenson's death and how any parents have a favourite child.
252: No Such Thing As The Shark Tooth Fairy
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss baby sharks, bankrupt lottery winners, and the city where the streets are paved with used toilet paper.
251: No Such Thing As An Accidental George
Anna, James, Andy and Anne discuss undercover restaurant reviewers, weightlifting cockroaches, and what to pack for a trip on the Orient Express.
250: No Such Thing As The Mysterious Chamber
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss demolishing the Great Pyramid of Giza, with the WWF logo is a panda, and psychopathic teenage angst.
249: No Such Thing As A Pint Of Wine
A compilation of the best deleted bits from the last year of Fish. Happy New Year!
Merry Christmas from Dan, James, Anna and Andy
Merry Christmas! Here's a bonus extract from the The Audiobook of The Year 2018, available to download. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for more.
248: No Such Thing As The Shatner Bunny
Live from Union Chapel, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the world's oldest krill, the £20 million bed, and the Christmas decorations that go up in September.
247: No Such Thing As Footprints On The Sea
Anna, James, Andy and Ed discuss whistling oysters, Captain Cook's goat, and King Lear's happy ending.
246: No Such Thing As The Worm Revolution
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the Royal Anagrammist, the man from M.O.U.L.D, and Darwin's publisher's not-so-helpful notes.
245: No Such Thing As The Very Sexy Caterpillar
Live from Brighton, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the police force made up of criminals, why mice walk so loudly, and the world's first crossword.
244: No Such Thing As A Fishman
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Stephen Fry discuss frogs with regional accents, Canada's official tagline, and streaking in museums.
243: No Such Thing As Jean-Paul Sartre's Crabs
Live from the Union Chapel in London, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss snail backpacks, the band from space, and Alexander Graham Bell's talking dog.
242: No Such Thing As The Ancient Monty Python Dynasty
Live from York, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss scaring moths out of the sky, Sir Walter Raleigh's improv act, and why a robot would say 'poop'.
241: No Such Thing As Tom Cruise In A Manger
Live from Nottingham, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the Nativity with celebrities, giraffes with asthma, and chucking hospital patients into a bush.
240: No Such Thing As An Easy Tweet
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Maxïmo Park frontman Paul Smith discuss banned bananas, earthquake-sensing belts, and the Great Lost Massive Toilet Of London.
239: No Such Thing As The Queen Maaaaaaary
Dan, Anna, Andy and Alex discuss why wombats have the best bums, how to build an extension on a cruise liner and Who Do You Think You Are?'s rejected celebrities.
238: No Such Thing As A Low Sofa
Dan, Andy, Anna and Anne discuss the world's worst poetry recital, where all the world's hazelnuts go, and the first ever advert on Channel 5.
237: No Such Thing As A Closed-Minded Tortoise
Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss facial recognition for chickens, the whales older than Moby Dick, and the European Space Agency's rockin' sound system.
236: No Such Thing As A Brie Sculpture
Anna, James, Andy and special guest Alex Edelman discuss illegal canoe practices, the funniest poo joke in history and Henry VIII's favourite pudding.
235: No Such Thing As Trousers For Spiders
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss how to make spiders less scary, the oldest message in a bottle, and unusual features of the Mastermind chair.
234: No Such Thing As The Lemur Police
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss earwax grubs, armadillo sex and selfies with sunflowers.
233: No Such Thing As A Sexy Question Mark
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Beefeaters' birthdays, Roman ice and metal umlauts.
232: No Such Thing As A Seven Foot Bond
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss spiders with eyeliner, biblical teeth gnashing, and the sumo wrestler with silicone in his scalp.
231: No Such Thing As A 24-Minute Podcast
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss the first ever stripper to jump out of a cake, the Queen of Sweden's business cards, and why holding your breath underwater is cheating.
230: No Such Thing As Tinder For Sloths
Live from the Wilderness Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss how the Macarena could save your life, the secret penis code in the Bayeux Tapestry, and the one thing more painful than childbirth (for sloths).
229: No Such Thing As The Great Modesto
Dan, James, Andy and Alex discuss gold in the sewers, Robert Burn's homemade ink, and why Sweden's highest point isn't any more.
228: No Such Thing As Seatbelts On Your Sofa
Not live and not from Bristol, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss indoor hot air balloon shows, McBaseball and what you'll find inside a giraffe's armpit.
227: No Such Thing As A More Ambitious Crossover Event In History
Live (partly at least) from the Wellington Opera House, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss how to birth a lamb, the most niche Netflix categories, and Elton John's travel arrangements.
226: No Such Thing As A Turtle Painting The Ceiling
Live from Auckland, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss painting pants on portraits, why Moscow's politicians don't kiss each other, and how often men really think about sex.
225: No Such Thing As An Interesting Riddle
Live from the Sydney Opera House, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss BBC stock orgies, being buried with a chicken and why you might cycle the Olympic marathon.
224: No Such Thing As Mixed-Species Martial Arts
Live from Brisbane, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss spider wrestling, policemen dressed as statues, and Ozzy Osbourne's no-so-last tour.
223: No Such Thing As A Worthless Doorstop
Live from Melbourne, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss death by meteorite, the Manhatt-ant and the downhill history of the slinky.
222: No Such Thing As A Warmongering Pigeon
Live from Melbourne, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss superloud fish sex, taxiing to a war zone and why these facts probably aren't true.
221: No Such Thing As A Fully Carpeted Country
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Alan Davies discuss the street value of football sticker albums, anti-diving shin pads and instructional chat-up pamphlets for Argentinian footballers.
220: No Such Thing As A Million Dots
Anna, James, Andy and other James discuss bouliganism, flying on Titan, and tiny, tiny wasps.Episode 220 - No Such Thing As A Million Dots
219: No Such Thing As Jeremiah Wingdings
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss cosmetic surgery for Fish, how to get the edge in the Tour de France, and competitive typesetting.
218: No Such Thing As Tennis On The Moon
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss cavemen living on the moon, Victorian reaction times, and the mystery of The Mystery Of Edwin Drood.
217: No Such Thing As A Trapezium-Shaped Hankie
Live from Liverpool, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss bob.com, how to eat an avocado, and what the Ancient Greeks used for toilet paper.
216: No Such Thing As A Lobster War
Live from Perth, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the most annoying man in history, the regretful inventor of the Australian labradoodle, and how lobsters nearly started a war.
215: No Such Thing As A Chihuahua Dog Sled Team
Live from Dublin, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the monumental conception of Victor Hugo, when North Korea is the safest place to be, and why you should bring 600 pairs of shoes to a dog sled race.
214: No Such Thing As A Criminal In A Fabulous Hat
Dan, James, Andy and special guest Original Elf Molly Oldfield discuss blue whale birthing, ceramic pillows and how to cast for a police line-up.
213: No Such Thing As Panda Gladiators
Live from Reading, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the world's first waterskier, Harvard for pandas, and the the record-holding mat holder called Matt Hand.
212: No Such Thing As A Hipster Pharaoh
Live from Belfast, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss smuggling pasta, the Queen's tri-annual review and the designer chickens of Silicon Valley.
211: No Such Thing As A Photograph Of A River
Live from Edinburgh, Dan, James Anna and Andy discuss dinner party etiquette for 5-year-olds, ugly American shoes and divorcées falling down the stairs.
210: No Such Thing As A Sheep's Bedside Table
Live from Leeds, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss sheep in a lift, the cocktail-endorsing pope, and why the RAF have banned Tunnocks Teacakes.
209: No Such Thing As A Sexy Black Hole
Live from Glasgow, Dan, James Anna and Andy discuss denim arson, and why 1p on the ground isn't worth anything.
208: No Such Thing As A Female Egg Thief
Live from Oxford, Dan, James Anna and Andy discuss the man with an egg stuck in his mouth, Lost Wife posters and Edward VII's driving-drink.
207: No Such Thing As Harry Potter And The Great Overreaction
Live from Brighton, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss suspended babies, computer-generated sweet nothings, and the man who waters his house every day.
206: No Such Thing As A Pig In Court
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Victorian fern mania, why stripes are a fashion crime and ice golf championships.
205: No Such Thing As The Number Six
Andy, James, Anna and Alex discuss ski lift thefts, the world's largest wine cellar and what would happen if all the bacteria disappeared in the world.
204: No Such Thing As A Mean Butterfly
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the Great Maple Syrup Robbery, a musical Russian invasion and the great Greek god Doris.
203: No Such Thing As A Muscular Butterfly
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the secret Matrix sushi recipes, why our skin doesn't leak and butterfly sperm trickery.
202: No Such Thing As A Deadly Birthday Cake
Live from Coventry, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss trousers for horses, swimming the Atlantic, and why the inventor of basketball was so bad at teaching it.
201: No Such Thing As Lobsters At The Lobster Festival
Live from Dunstable, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss King Ferdinand's Orient Express phobia, the giant magnet roaming Glastonbury and Foyle's unorthodox method of wartime shop defence.
200: No Such Thing As A Jigsaw For The Queen
Live from Birmingham, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the squatting Queen impersonator, misplace nuclear launch codes, and the statue in Belgium commemorating Peter the Great's sick.
199: No Such Thing As An Heroic Fire-Goat
Live from Leicester, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss meerkats' inside-out bottoms, California's imprisoned firefighters, and the risk of finding a golf ball in your crisps.
198: No Such Thing As Cleopatra Movie Trivia
Live from Up The Creek In Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the dead author under the bed, the first ever sports bra, and Poopy the Ambassador.
No Such Thing As Wasted Material 2017
All the outtakes and deleted bits from Fish 2017. Happy In-between-Christmas-and-New-Year-bit!
Merry Fishmas!
A special Christmas Day extract from the audiobook version of The Book Of The Year.
197: No Such Thing As Eurovision For Christmas Trees
A special Christmas episode with Dan, James, Anna and Andy, live from Up The Creek in Greenwich
196: No Such Thing As Faking The Magic Dream
Live from Wimbledon, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss what makes flamingos pink, Cape Canaveral's dialling code, and the secret dream that lets you keep bees in the mountains.
195: No Such Thing As A Hummingbird With A Greggs Steak Bake
Live from Manchester, Dan, James, Anna And Andy discuss how much Coke a human-sized hummingbird would drink, the world's first rollercoaster, and American grocery bag-packing competitions.
194: No Such Thing As An Orange Crocodile
Live from Nottingham, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss green robins, Lenin’s unexpected accent and the Nottingham cheese riots.
193: No Such Thing As Death By Conga
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss testifying in court through a window, the ant nests made of ants, and book the size of postage stamps.
192: No Such Thing As A Restaurant Menu For Hats
Live from Cardiff, Dan, James Anna and Andy discuss listening to the radio with your hat on, the useless mating call of the pumpkin toadlet, and salmon-shaped mountains.
191: No Such Thing As A Cannibal Squirrel
Live from Bath, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Calvin Coolidge's robotic horse, the inventor of email, and the language it's easiest to speak while drunk.
190: No Such Thing As A Magic Oven For Chimps
Live from Newcastle, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss British boomerangs, primate rock-paper-scissors, and why the Catalans are so anti-cat.
189: No Such Thing As A Meringue-Utan
Live from the Cheltenham Literature Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the Queen's nickname, the man beaten in a marathon by a tumble dryer, and the anus that is Making America Great Again.
188: No Such Thing As A Mouth-Propelled Grenade Launcher
Live from Newcastle, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Mo Farah's only Guinness World Record, what's inside a Kit Kat, and how hamsters arrived in the UK.
187: No Such Thing As An Ant On Its Gap Year
Andy, James, Anna and Alex discuss how to get ants drunk, the stolen cities in China, and The Sound Of Julie Andrews Being Blown Over By A Helicopter.
186: No Such Thing As Russian Hacking in the Cockroach Election
Anna, James, Andy and Alice discuss portable bridges, sneeze-based votes, and why you can't detect magnets with your mind.
185: No Such Thing As Scottish Snow
Andy, Anna, James and special guest Cariad Lloyd discuss Unity Mitford's BFFs, how planes (don't) cure deafness, and why you shouldn't eat Scottish show.
184: No Such Thing As Dinosaur Diaries
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss snakes that eat snakes, mathematical street performers, and the celebrity most likely to give you a virus.
183: No Such Thing As A Bouncy Theatre
Dan, James, Andy and Alex discuss how to drive a submarine, Gainsborough's 6-foot-long paintbrushes, and where 1% of all the world's wood goes.
182: No Such Thing As An Auction For Auction School
Dan, Anna, Andy and special guest Jason Hazeley discuss the British Lawnmover Museum, questionnaires for narcissists, how Christie's auctioneers get over their nerves.
181: No Such Thing As A Shark Vending Machine
Dan, Anna, Andy and Alex discuss Spielberg's Great White Turd, maverick train carriages and how bird always know when they're in Aberdeen.
180: No Such Thing As Playing Snake On A Plane
Dan, James, Anna and Anne discuss Hitler's Beatles cameo, how lobsters fly, and the most surprising place to find John Goodman.
179: No Such Thing As Stare-Boxing
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss mail-order portraits, the first ever Encyclopaedia Britannica, and the country with only five star hotels.
178: No Such Thing As A Cup Full Of Nessie
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss your amazing expanding liver, the land of ex-presidents, and scientists disguised as mooses...or is that meese?
177: No Such Thing As A Barking Spy
Live from the Wilderness Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the invention of crowd barriers, bombs that lecture their victims, and Volkswagen's biggest product [hint: it's not cars].
176: No Such Thing As A Communist Caterpillar
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss vomiting caterpillars, quarantined chocolate, and Russian news that's literally stored in the cloud.
175: No Such Thing As A Rice Krispie With Feelings
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss expert plastic sushi artists, the world's first bendy straws, and how fake dog noses help detect bombs.
174: No Such Thing As A Manta Ray
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss competitive tongue injuring, the popemobile for hire and Bogotan traffic mimes.
173: No Such Thing As Symphony For Sizzurp In D Minor
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss weather-forecasting rainbows, Mexico's artistic tax policy and the mandatory Big Book of Tennis Rules.
172: No Such Thing As A Cat-a-Cops Cartoon
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the police force for dead people, Indonesia's KFC CDs and Chinese mistress-dispellers.
171: No Such Thing As A Half-Ape Vampire
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the man behind human chess, Agatha Christie's untranslatable book and deceitful camemberts.
170: No Such Thing As A Love Potion For A Vole
Anna, James, Andy and Alex discuss stinking ice, smart seeds and the world's greatest fly swatters.
169: No Such Thing As Constantly Awake Beauty
Anna, James, Andy and Alex discuss synchronised blinking, the ants the size of foxes, and nocturnal apple-counting robots.
168: No Such Thing As Lord Cauldronhead
In a special episode covering the 2017 general election, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss policies regarding yetis, the underwater constituency, and (of course) the election in Kenya.
167: No Such Thing As Milk From A Yak
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the growing Tibetan butter sculpting crisis, how to email a tree, and what to do with the world's hottest chilli (hint: don't eat it).
166: No Such Thing As A Courgette In Your Ear
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss chicken egg orientation, drawing on your ear drums, and the Georgian garden of celebrity trees.
165: No Such Thing As A Spider The Size Of A Sheep
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the Wright brothers’ first flight, China’s latest speed limits, and why poo on a table may be further away than it appears.
164: No Such Thing As A Poo Powered Plane
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss second-hand spacesuits, Jeremy Corbyn's luxuriant beard, and North Korea's flying taxi service.
163: No Such Thing As Too Fast For A Fish
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest John Hodgman discuss draining the sea, why the Titanic really sunk, and how most of Britain isn't really in Britain.
162: No Such Thing As Catastrophic Shoelaces
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the problem with HMS Victory, the science behind shoelaces and the age-old question of hobnob production.
161: No Such Thing As A Magic Donkey
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the first ever lie detector, a robotic Cleopatra and the world's largest exporter of false teeth.
160: No Such Thing As A Sausage Jacuzzi
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss snail spas, the world's largest porch swings, and the least practical way to wash clothes.
159: No Such Thing As An Edible Jockey
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss falcon sex caps, a 73-year-old superhuman swimmer, and the morning routine of a seahorse.
158: No Such Thing As A Weasel's Fridge
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the intricacies of Indian washing machines, ghost-hunting in GCHQ and why ferret racing is such a snooze-fest.
157: No Such Thing As High-Fiving The Beatles
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the first ever high-five, an iceberg storage facility in Antarctica and how to put make-up on in space.
156: No Such Thing As A Limited Edition
Dan, Anna, Andy and special guest Dr Erica McAlister discuss sperm whale-sized sperm, real-life Home Alone security measures, and why you've never really heard Churchill's famous speeches.
155: No Such Thing As Hurricane Schmurricane
Live from Up The Creek in Greenwich to celebrate the third birthday of the podcast, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the weirdest storm name suggestions, President Johnson's johnson shower and the Old People Forecast
154: No Such Thing As A Submarine Shepherd
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the UK's noisiest warships, how glow-worms go fishing and what happened to the world's first cannabis smokers.
153: No Such Thing As Mulled Wine At The Dawn Of Time
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss aphrodisiac sorbet, non-flammable newspapers and the world's Scilliest soccer teams.
152: No Such Thing As A Sleepover With Lions
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss self-consuming breasts, eating lions' leftovers, and why we're thirty seconds closer to the end of the world.
151: No Such Thing As A Komodo Dragon Restaurant
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss garlic-flavoured chocolate bars, Komodo dragon puberty and and why you don't want to french kiss a frog.
150: No Such Thing As A Helium Filled Pufferfish
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the bits of Earth on the Moon, venom-swiping slugs, and when Mount Rushmore will finally be finished.
149: No Such Thing As The Train King Of Europe
Anna, James, Andy and Anne discuss boot camp for trains, celebrity camels, and why Shell send sea shells back to the sea shore.
148: No Such Thing As A Plummeting Moose
Andy, James, Anna and Alex discuss helicopter dung attacks, Sesame Street's Donald Trump and the best way to cover the smell of urine.
147: No Such Thing As Burrito Party Boy
Anna, James, Andy and Alex discuss the unluckiest politician in the world, the elephant on the River Thames, and the best way of getting invited to Buckingham Palace.
146: No Such Thing As A Queen Orca
Dan, James, Andy and special guest Sara Pascoe discuss sympathetic pregnancy, the world's most famous umbrellas and the surprisingly romantic life of coral.
No Such Thing As A Fish - Extra Bits
A compilation episodes of bits there weren't time for in the 2016 episodes of No Such Thing As A Fish. Happy New Year!
145: No Such Thing as E.T. Part Three
A Christmas compilation episode in which Dan, James, Anna and Andy take facts from the audiences of Fish's spin-off topical news show No Such Thing As The News.
144: No Such Thing As Garlic Superman
Dan, James, Andy and Alex discuss historical ham sandwiches, edible passwords and why Jupiter is shrinking.
143: No Such Thing As Chariots in Space
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss placebo pharmacies, Britain's 17th century space program, and the robot that cheats at Rock, Paper, Scissors.
142: No Such Thing As Edward Binbag-Hands
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss aeroplane-chasing bumblebees, spiky penises, and the weighing scales in the Oval Office.
141: No Such Thing As Ancient Roman Pictionary
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the wisdom of Wisden, life in an elephant's footprint and why to strive for that 'classic poo look'.
140: No Such Thing As Books For Pirate-Children
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss ancient greek bathtubs, badgers on submarines and the logistics of Santa's Naughty and Nice List.
139: No Such Thing As A Lobster Nappy
Live from the London Podcast Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Evel Knievel's jail time, the complete history of turtle soup, and a telescope too big to use.
138: No Such Thing As Fluff Island
Andy, Anna, Alex and special guest Ed Brooke-Hitching discuss left-handed snails, non-existent islands and the White House press-pit-swimming-pool.
137: No Such Thing As Churchill's Secret Parrot
Andy, Anna, James and Anne discuss Coca Cola copycat companies, places where compasses don't work and the dangers of farting on a plane.
136: No Such Thing As A Wolf Diving For Clams
Anna, Andy, Piers Fletcher and Justin Pollard discuss Samuel Pepys's porn stash, boiling swimming pools and a sixty-year-long life hack to owning beachfront property.
135: No Such Thing As Queen Of Clean, The Sausage Machine
Dan, Anna, Andy and Alex discuss animal babysitters, supermarket laser tag, and the best party in the history of the world.
134: No Such Thing As Sauce For The King Of Sweden
Live from Up The Creek in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss virtual grouse shooting, stolen Van Gogh paintings and what happens after you win a Nobel Prize.
133: No Such Thing As Paranoid Ants
Live from Up The Creek in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss ants in frogs, upside-down perception, and the best way to watch a presidential debate.
132: No Such Thing As A Creepy Weather Forecaster
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss computer-playing cars, fratricidal kookaburras and what paper was first used for.
131: No Such Thing As Walking The Life Jacket
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss duct tape for ducks, duck tape for ducts, Duck duct tape and ducks in ducts. And ducts.
130: No Such Thing As Train Jam
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss toe wrestling championships, the ghost of Arthur Conan Doyle, and trains armed with lasers.
129: No Such Thing As Jack The Stripper
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss hummingbird capes, spacesuits for ants, and the origin of the ballpoint pen.
128: No Such Thing As A Million Dollar Bill
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss glow-in-the-dark fungi, presidential putters and reasons for spying your neighbours.
127: No Such Thing As 'Carry On Colliding'
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss man-made earthquakes, the world's least favourite font, and how this episode will end up on the moon.
126: No Such Thing As A Boy Called Blclintn
Dan, James, Anna and Anne discuss literal sexual magnetism, Olympic races for old ladies, and all the children named after Tony Blair.
125: No Such Thing As An Upside-Down Grand Prix
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss forte-pianos, spring-loaded hairstyles, and the not-so-gentle lemur.
124: No Such Thing As A Screaming Scream
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss railroad glow worms, Marx & Spencer, and kangaroos on trampolines.
123: No Such Thing As A Molten Lava Football Pitch
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss synchronised heartbeats, how to barbecue with lava, and the people who only read Playboy for the articles.
122: No Such Thing As A Sticky Shell Spoon
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss holey spoons, the speed of snow and how to get more milk from a cow.
121: No Such Thing As The Sword In The Carbon Fibre
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss wood-sucking catfish, wizard prison, and Ancient Egyptian butchers.
120: No Such Thing As HMS Kevin
Live from the Udderbelly Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss houses made for burgling, flimsy warships and graffiti in the sky.
119: No Such Thing As 4D Surgery
Dan, Anna, Andy and Steve Colgan discuss cage-reading, pigeons versus dinosaurs, and the schoolgirl spy from Devon.
118: No Such Thing As Dinner On A Spider
This week Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss wristwatch thermometers, cheat codes for lifts, and glow-in-the-dark vomit.
117: No Such Thing As Dr No Teeth
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Tim Minchin discuss performing racoons, blue hailstones, and the giant that provides constipation relief.
116: No Such Thing As Notting Mountain
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss prehistoric butterflies, secret power stations, and Buddhist robots.
115: No Such Thing As A Hummingbird Pilot
Anna, James, Andy and Anne discuss alarm clocks in space, ripped-off national anthems and crows holding grudges.
114: No Such Thing As A Tantrump
Live from Up The Creek in Greenwich, and filmed as a pilot episode for QI's new BBC TV series No Such Thing As The News, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss elephant polo, robots replacing Royals, and everything that hasn't been discovered yet.
113: No Such Thing As A Flycycle
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss underwater tailors, the overlord of all emojis, and the alphabet of the future.
112: No Such Thing As A Lego Aircraft Carrier
Live from Edinburgh, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss jet plane catapults, the Hemline Index, and the world’s most expensive toilet paper.
111: No Such Thing As Snappedy Chat
Live from the Up The Creek Comedy Club, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss personalised number plates, political sexting and the Queen's weirdest birthday presents.
110: No Such Thing As A Dull Post Box
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Sara Pascoe discuss underwater postboxes, easily distracted hijackers and the Disney film all about menstruation.
109: No Such Thing As A Speared Shrimp
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Belgian horseback fishing, flattop mountains and the world's first newspaper.
108: No Such Thing As Samurai Olaf
Live from Glasgow, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss killer shrimps, poo-based space food, and handsome Japanese tear-wipers for hire.
107: No Such Thing As Gorillas On The Beach
Live from Glasgow, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss spagnostic pastafarians, mystery pool pooers and the world's first speech bubble.
106: No Such Thing As A Six-Tier Japanese Human Pyramid
Live from Bristol, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss colour-changing animals, caffeinated mushrooms and fashionable hay fever.
105: No Such Thing As Pancakes For Perverts
Live from Newport, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss tweeting chickens, litigious hyenas and peer-reviewed romantic comedies.
104: No Such Thing As A Herd Of Koalas
Live from Dave's Leicester Comedy Festival, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss meteorwrongs, avian arsonists and the Norman Conquest of America.
103: No Such Thing As A Boa Constructor
Live from City Varieties in Leeds, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss glass delusion, useful sphincters, and six foot tall otters.
102: No Such Thing As A Water Mortar
Live from the Gulbenkian theatre in Canterbury, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss silly string, arrows in the air, frightened marmosets and the battle of the keyboards.
101: No Such Thing As A Giant Robot Michael Jackson
Live from the Birmingham mac theatre, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss hedgehogs climbing walls, robots roaming deserts and cows wearing bras.
100: No Such Thing As A Zillion And One
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Corey Taylor discuss noisy silent discos, squid holograms, and a trillion seconds of porridge for breakfast.
99: No Such Thing As Bread Civilians
Live from the Birmingham mac theatre, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss sexy robots, samurai hairdressers and the world's oldest drive-through.
98: No Such Thing As Planet George
Live from the Up The Creek Comedy Club in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Snowmageddon, the most planety planet, and the world's unluckiest lottery winner.
97: No Such Thing As Andrew Diplodocus Carnegie
Dan, James, Andy and special guest Helen Arney discuss the length of a jiffy, accidental sonic booms and totally astounding, gobsmacking and singularly amazing discoveries.
96: No Such Thing As A Touch Of Worms
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the Chill Pill, Socrates' imaginary friend, and levitating fridges.
95: No Such Thing As A Millipede Embassy
Anna, James, Andy and Alex discuss Roman pig-dragons, cross-border sex and walking worms.
94: No Such Thing As Sexy Mucus Pajamas
Live from the Up The Creek Comedy Club in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss aircraft-building ferrets, yeti custody battles and presidential colonoscopies.
93: No Such Thing As A Christmas Treenis
Glad SCHREIBings we bring to you and HARKIN! We wish you a MURRAY Christmas ANNA Happy New Year!
In a special festive episode, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss fluffy velociraptors, glass Christmas trees and the oldest turkey in Britain.
92: No Such Thing As A Frozen Chicken Haunting
Live from the Up The Creek Comedy Club in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss coughing giraffes, naked Roman ghosts, and why we should stop punching glass.
91: No Such Thing As Apocalypse 1988
Dan, James, Anna and Anne discuss the Double-Cross System, biblical puns, and a week with Willy the worm.
90: No Such Thing As The Brilliant Billion
Dan, James Anna and Andy discuss Einstein's twitter account, where water comes from, and The Great Wall Of Sticky Rice.
89: No Such Thing As Utah Fried Chicken
Live from The Junction in Cambridge, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss one-tree forests, car-henge, and death-defying ticket inspectors.
88: No Such Thing As A Moon Sausage Bullet
Live from the Lyric Theatre in London, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss William Wordsworth's nickname, lettuce grown in space, and Van Gogh's new ear.
No Such Thing As A Fish: The One Show Special
In this bonus episode recorded in the BBC's The One Show studios, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss huge holes, criminal kestrels and how to park a van on Pluto.
87: No Such Thing As The Pajama Police
Live from The North Wall Arts Centre in Oxford, Dan, James Anna and Andy discuss mining for jeans, what Jesus really looked like, and the most famous snail in Britain.
86: No Such Thing As Ghost Nipples
Dan, James, Andy and special guest Mark Mason discuss coronation attire, Ancient Egyptian pornography and competitive puddle-jumping.
85: No Such Thing As Michelangelo's Snowman
Live from the Brighton Comedy Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss naughty Popes, attractive picnic tables and "fun facts" about hawks.
84: No Such Thing As A Donkumentary
Dan, Andy, Alex and special guest Dr Karl Kruszelnicki discuss dangerous ticks, millennium bugs and a newly discovered Bastard.
83: No Such Thing As A Flying Sniffer Dog
Live from the Salford Lowry theatre, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss courageous cats, extreme parking, weird awards and moths' invisibility cloaks.
82: No Such Thing As A Sentient Iceberg
Live from Up The Creek Comedy Club, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss ancient lost property offices, the Town Crier World Championships and how to make fire from ice.
81: No Such Thing As Jellyfish Jelly
Anna, James, Alex and Anne discuss glow-in-the-dark animals, Dr Seuss’s secret war films and what happens when you Google something.
80: No Such Thing As A Mousetrap-Remote-Control
Live from The Edinburgh Festival, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss magnetic ham sandwiches, the original use for bubblewrap, and the world’s first vending machine.
79: No Such Thing As A Sad High Five
Live from The Edinburgh Festival, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss Scrabble's unlikely champion, why you shouldn't pick a fight a hairy frog & all the latest in itch news.
78: No Such Thing As An Ugly Pair Of Eyes
Live from The Edinburgh Festival, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss trophies for trophies, Napoleon’s favourite food and the original IMDb.
77: No Such Thing As Pee-Bay
Live from The Edinburgh Festival, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the history of buttons, White House squirrel problems and sewer-powered street lamps.
76: No Such Thing As Mould Juice
Live from The Edinburgh Festival, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the first ever eBay auction, poo-flavoured ice cream, and the what happened to Fleming's mould.
75: No Such Thing As Diarrhoea Drive
Live from The Aces and Eights Bar in Tufnell Park, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss facts suggested from the audience, including blue margarine, superstrong beetles and car-driving monkey butlers.
74: No Such Thing As A Computer In The Oval Office
Dan, James, Andy and Alex discuss the early days of MI6, donkeys with WiFi, and the world's only handwritten newspaper.
73: No Such Thing As A Useless Condom
Dan, James, Anna and Anne discuss the preparations for D-Day, secret library porn, and cannibalistic cane toads.
72: No Such Thing As A Bacon Telescope
Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the first pneumatic tubes, photosynthesising sea slugs, and the worst zoo in North Korea.
71: No Such Thing As A Somersaulting Long Jumper
Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss humans versus horses, where to get new eyelids, and why you should never drink with Alfred Hitchcock.
70: No Such Thing As A Rat Multiborg
Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the age old debate of ‘Nike’ versus ‘Nikey’, telepathic rats, and 90 super-gripping babies.
69: No Such Thing As The Pamplona Guinea Pig Run
Dan, James, Andy and Alex discuss less famous Last Suppers, a guinea pig gynaecologist, and a crime writer who can't read.
68: No Such Thing As A Friendly Face Fondle
Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the famous last words, the secrets of flirting, and drinking porridge through a straw.
67: No Such Thing As The Hoo-Hah Monologues
66: No Such Thing As A Robotic Margaret Atwood
Dan, James, Andy and Anne discuss the fate of London's bendy buses, lifts with toilets, and century-long book deals.
65: No Such Thing As A Chickenosaurus
Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss celebrity dinosaurs, beards entering Mexico and the professor of LEGO.
64: No Such Thing As An Honest Saiga
Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss banana bombs, disappearing lakes and a church for zombies.
63: No Such Thing As An Anti-German Sock
Live from the Hay Literary Festival, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the world's first novel, a Beatle as Gandalf, and the inventor of the television.
62: No Such Thing As The Ugly Panda
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Rufus Hound discuss the origin of The Sooty Show, an omelette-cooking tightrope walker, and the shepherds running America.
61: No Such Thing As Jesus's Magic Wand
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Benjamin Franklin's massive bed, knife-wielding referees and the longest movie in the world.
60: No Such Thing As An Unenjoyable Bowel Movement
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and QI creator John Lloyd discuss Iceland's last McDonalds burger, the science of ignorance, and sea battles at Sadler's Wells.
59: No Such Thing As Old Mother Bastard
In a special UK General Election episode, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss animal politicians, saunas in the Sinai desert, and the first 'thing' ever.
58: No Such Thing As Van Gogh The Elephant
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss copyrighted bum-slaps, pickpockets with chopsticks, and Louis Armstrong's passion for laxatives.
57: No Such Thing As A Hoverhorse
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss supersmog, horses on treadmills and impossible colours.
56: No Such Thing As A Killer Tomato
Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss mad NASA projects, WW1 spy tactics, and an old, new enemy to all mankind.
55: No Such Thing As Samurai Nail Clippers
Live at the Soho Theatre, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss internet for plants, smoke jumpers and super-wet water.
54: No Such Thing As Domesticated Furniture
Live at the Soho Theatre, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss eccentric dinner parties, the most pointless scientific studies and what happens to tattoos when they die.
53: No Such Thing As A 3000km Tall Statue Of Liberty
Live at the Soho Theatre, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss X-ray sellotape, the world's oldest chewing gum, and why you should never put Skittles up your nose.
52: No Such Thing As A Worthless Bucket Of Urine
Episode 52: Live at the Soho Theatre, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss Tutankhamun's fashion choices, how to get ahead in a marathon, a city full of socks, and the most boring day ever.
51: No Such Thing As Dodecahedral Shredded Wheat
Episode 51: Live at the Soho Theatre, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the most common safe words, the lizard of Oz, and why the world's happiest man isn't happy.
50: No Such Thing As Doing It Dinosaur-Style
Episode 50: Live at the Soho Theatre, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the history of striptease, Hitler-shaped kettles, how to win a goat, and Anna's favourite table.
49: No Such Thing As A Buff Panda
Episode 49: A bonus episode in which Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss tea-making panda poo, competitive walking, and the world's largest boring machine.
48: No Such Thing As A Pokemon-Playing Goldfish
Episode 48 - No Such Thing As A Pokemon-Playing Goldfish by The QI Elves
47: No Such Thing As A Lonely Starbucks Customer
Episode 47: Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the world's most destructive golf shot, why Starbucks has round tables, and the truth about Nemo.
46: No Such Thing As An Apostle Called Scrotum
Episode 46 - Dan (@schreiberland), James (@eggshaped), Andy (@andrewhunterm) and Anna (#getannaontwitter) discuss bad Harry Potter translations, how to spot a Lama and ancient practical jokes.
45: No Such Thing As A Travelator In Ancient Rome
Episode 45: Anna, James, Andy and special guest Greg Jenner discuss Von Humboldt's electrifying anal experiments, migrating limpets, and a time travelling bus service.
44: No Such Thing As A Vegan Fryup
Andy, James, Anna and Anne discuss obscene pottery, seriously bad signal, an Ancient apartment block and Australia's swear box.
43: No Such Thing As The Human Cigarette
Episode 43 - James, Andy, Anna and Alex discuss tiger selfies, dog-drawn prams, a cow's best friend and a dolphin's worst enemy.
42: No Such Thing As A Bloober Reel
Episode 42 - Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss Kickstarter non-starters, gluey geckos, blue-breasted women and green-faced writers.
No Such Thing As Unbroadcastable Material
New Year Special: A compilation of all the extra bits from 2014 that didn't make it into the podcast. Dan, James, Andy, Anna, and occasionally Alex and Anne discuss the discovery of Tahiti, sweary astronauts, the Queen's nickname, and the Snow Yeti of Wales.
41: No Such Thing As Reginald The Red-Nosed Reindeer
Episode 41 - In a special Christmas episode recorded live at Tufnell Park, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss Charles Dickens' warm-up act, lactose intolerant neanderthals, 19th century copyright pirates, penguins in Christmas jumpers and the patron saint of television.
40: No Such Thing As Captain Trousers
Episode 40 - Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss military make-up, dinosaur erotica, Obama's honey ale and history's greatest farter.
39: No Such Thing As A Rocking Chair In Space
Episode 39 - Dan (@schreiberland), James (@eggshaped), Andy (@andrewhunterm) and Anna (#getannaontwitter) discuss irritated astronauts, meaty rain, Britain's loudest snorer, and the garden party you don't want to get invited to.
38: No Such Thing As A Super Mario Love Hotel
Episode 38 - In the first international live episode at the Brussels Atomium, Dan (@schreiberland), James (@eggshaped), Andy (@andrewhunterm) Anna (#getannaontwitter) and special guest Lieven Scheire (@lievenscheire) discuss love huts, space pizzas, door-based ants, and rehab for drunk birds.
37: No Such Thing As The Kevin Olympics
Episode 37 - Dan (@schreiberland), James (@eggshaped), Andy (@andrewhunterm) and Anna (#getannaontwitter) discuss volcano cremation, the world's oldest spider web, prison newspapers, the emergency Olympic Games, and what happens if you kill the pope.
36: No Such Thing As A Game Of King's Footsie
Episode 36 - Dan (@schreiberland), James (@eggshaped), Andy (@andrewhunterm) and Anna (#getannaontwitter) discuss criminal camels, ancient yo-yos, trucking bees, maize mazes and terrible reasons to call 999.
35: No Such Thing As A Good Sloth Onesie
Episode 35 - In a special live episode for the Chortle Comedy Book Festival, Dan (@schreiberland), James (@eggshaped), Andy (@andrewhunterm) and Anna (#getannaontwitter) discuss the invention of sarcasm, the Antarctic Fire Department, dogs disguised as lions, and a Ming dynasty astronaut.
34: No Such Thing As A Giant German Sandcastle
Episode 34 - Dan (@schreiberland), James (@eggshaped), Andy (@andrewhunterm) and Anna (#getannaontwitter) discuss the scent of a comet, sky girls in go-go boots, the James Bonds that could have been and the most expensive thing Bruce Willis ever bought.
33: No Such Thing As A Clairvoyant Chicken
Episode 33 - Halloween Special: Dan (@schreiberland), James (@eggshaped), Andy (@andrewhunterm) and Anna (#getannaontwitter) discuss vampire finches, suppository broomsticks, the difference between a witch and a sorcerer, and why you should really be listening to this on 12 May.
Check out qi.com/halloween for more.
32: No Such Thing As A Good Gift For Gordon Brown
Episode 32 - Dan (@schreiberland), James (@eggshaped), Andy (@andrewhunterm), Anna (#getannaontwitter) and the composer of our theme tune, musician Ash Gardner (@emperor_yes) discuss useless Presidential gifts, great big arrows, Tom and Jerry’s sweet ending, and a passport carrying pharaoh.
31: No Such Thing As A Snake In My Pie
Episode 31 - Dan (@schreiberland), James (@eggshaped), Andy (@andrewhunterm) and Anna (#getannaontwitter) discuss urinating prophets, one man and his mushroom, weird wedding customs and who invented the electric pillow.
30: No Such Thing As A Song In The Sound Of Music
Episode 30 - In their first ever live podcast recording, Dan (@schreiberland), James (@eggshaped), Andy (@andrewhunterm) and Anna (#getannaontwitter) discuss cow-based computer code, who won the Bone Wars and how northern accents beat the Nazis.
29: No Such Thing As Terrestrial Sweetcorn
28: No Such Thing As A Man-Eating Clam
27: No Such Thing As An Egg And Cress Portsmouth
26: No Such Thing As A Yeti Fact
Episode 26 - Dan (@schreiberland), James (@eggshaped), Andy (@andrewhunterm) and special guest Simon Rich discuss chimps with pets, Kama Sutra crosswords, slinkies on escalators and sagging yeti breasts.
25: No Such Thing As A Randy Rat In Polyester Pants
24: No Such Thing As A Malicious Robot
23: No Such Thing As A Yawning Psychopath
22: No Such Thing As A Magic Camel Filter
21: No Such Thing As Testicle-Retracting Sumo Wrestlers
20: No Such Thing As A Dangerous Daffodil
Episode 20 - This week in the QI office Dan (@schreiberland), James (@eggshaped), Anne (@miller_anne) and Andy (@andrewhunterm) discuss aggressive bees, Walt Disney's breakfast, shouting on buses and more...
19: No Such Thing As Unicorn Stew
18: No Such Thing As A Kilt On The Battlefield
17: No Such Thing As A Bassoon In A Football Stadium
16: No Such Thing As A Ghost In Poland
15: No Such Thing As A Bulge In Ken's Groin
NSTAAF International Factball: South Korea v Ghana
South Korea v Ghana: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the fifteenth and final episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football.
Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia), James Harkin (@eggshaped) and Alex Bell (@alexbell_) pit South Korea against Ghana to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.
NSTAAF International Factball: Iran v Argentina v Ecuador
Iran v Argentina v Ecuador: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the fourteenth episode of International Factball - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football.
Today in this never-before-tried three-way special, Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia), James Harkin (@eggshaped) and Freddy Soames (@fsoames), pit Iran against Argentina against Ecuador to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.
NSTAAF International Factball: Greece v Japan
Greece v Japan: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the thirteenth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football.
Today Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia), James Harkin (@eggshaped), John Mitchinson (@johnmitchinson) and Molly Oldfield (@mollyoldfield) pit Greece against Japan to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.
NSTAAF International Factball: Australia v Mexico
Australia v Mexico: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the twelfth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football.
Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Alex Bell (@alexbell_) and Molly Oldfield (@mollyoldfield) pit Australia against Mexico to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.
NSTAAF International Factball: USA v Russia
USA v Russia: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the eleventh episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football.
Today Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Alex Edelman (@alex_edelman) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit Italy against Switzerland to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.
NSTAAF International Factball: Bosnia v Nigeria
Bosnia v Nigeria: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the tenth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football.
Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit Bosnia against Nigeria to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.
NSTAAF International Factball: Italy v Switzerland
Italy v Switzerland: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the ninth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football.
Today Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Anne Miller (@miller_anne) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit Italy against Switzerland to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.
NSTAAF International Factball: Colombia v Ivory Coast
Colombia v Ivory Coast: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the eighth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football.
Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit Colombia against the Ivory Coast to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.
NSTAAF International Factball: Cameroon vs Chile
Cameroon v Chile: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the seventh episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football.
Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Jack Burke (@jacksburke) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit Cameroon against Chile to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.
NSTAAF International Factball: Belgium v Algeria
Belgium v Algeria: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the sixth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football.
Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit Belgium against Algeria to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.
NSTAAF International Factball: Germany v Portugal
Germany v Portugal: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the fifth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football.
Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit Germany against Portugal to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.
NSTAAF International Factball: France v Honduras
France v Honduras: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the fourth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football.
Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit France against Honduras to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.
NSTAAF International Factball: Uruguay v Costa Rica
Uruguay v Costa Rica: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the third episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football.
Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit Uruguay against Costa Rica to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.
NSTAAF International Factball: Spain v Netherlands
Spain v Netherlands: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the second episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football.
Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit Spain against the Netherlands to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.
NSTAAF International Factball: Brazil v Croatia
Brazil v Croatia: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the first episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football.
Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit Brazil against Croatia to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.
14: No Such Thing As A Dirty Pair Of Jeans
13: No Such Thing As A Funny Nazi
12: No Such Thing As A 164ft Tall Gorilla-Whale
11: No Such Thing As A Door Knob In Vancouver
10: No Such Thing As A Soggy Monk
Episode 10: This week in the QI Office Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm), Anne Miller (@miller_anne) and special guest Eric Lampaert (@EricLampaert) discuss illegal javelin throwing, farts in a jar and more...
9: No Such Thing As A Word For 'Silent Fart'
8: No Such Thing As A Swear Word On The Moon
7: No Such Thing As The Loch Ness Monster
6: No Such Thing As One Direction in North Korea
5: No Such Thing As A Kiss
4: No Such Thing As The Mountains of Kong
3: No Such Thing As The Middle Ages
2: No Such Thing As Death By Aardvark
For more check out www.qi.com/podcast
1: No Such Thing As A Pilot Fish
Podcasten No Such Thing As A Fish är skapad av No Such Thing As A Fish. Podcastens innehåll och bilderna på den här sidan hämtas med hjälp av det offentliga podcastflödet (RSS).
En liten tjänst av I'm With Friends. Finns även på engelska.