What to Do When Your Teen Gets Aggressive (Tips From a Top Mediator)

Does your teen get in your face, follow you around yelling, or take their anger out on the walls? If you've started walking on eggshells to avoid setting them off, you're not alone, and there's a way to bring the temperature down.

👉 Feel like you're walking on eggshells around your teen's anger? Inside Parenting Teens Academy, parents learn to stay calm when things heat up, step out of power struggles, and catch blowups before they turn destructive. Try it free for 7 days

In this episode, I sit down with Hesha Abrams, an attorney and mediator who has resolved high-stakes disputes for companies like Google, Amazon, and Pepsi, and author of Holding the Calm: The Secret to Resolving Conflict and Defusing Tension. Hesha says parenting is the hardest job she's ever had, and she shares simple, practical techniques that work with teens just as well as with executives.

Her big idea: almost every conflict is about power. You don't calm an angry teen by out-yelling them. You calm things down by holding your own calm, giving away power in small ways, and catching tension early.

If you or anyone in your home is in physical danger, step away and call 911.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN

• Why almost every conflict with your teen is about power, and how to give some away without giving in
• Simple phrases that calm things down, like "Can we have a do-over?" and "Excuse me?"
• How to catch tension early, before it turns into yelling or destruction
• What to do when your teen gets in your face or follows you to keep yelling
• How to redirect a teen who kicks walls or breaks things
• Why validation works like WD-40 in every hard conversation

EPISODE CHAPTERS

• 00:00 Why parenting is the hardest job
• 03:35 Why every conflict is about power
• 06:04 Give yourself grace
• 06:39 How to hold the calm when things go badly
• 09:29 The do-over
• 10:13 Giving away power in small ways
• 13:20 Staying calm isn't giving in
• 19:48 Is staying calm a sign of weakness?
• 22:54 Why arguing is a sign of respect
• 26:40 Not taking it personally
• 28:44 When your teen gets in your face
• 33:30 Focusing on what you can change
• 37:52 When your teen kicks walls or breaks things
• 42:17 Give yourself grace and keep trying

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Holding the Calm: The Secret to Resolving Conflict and Defusing Tension by Hesha Abrams

CONNECT WITH HESHA ABRAMS

• Website: HoldingTheCalm.com
• Instagram: @holdingthecalmbook
• Facebook: @HeshaAbramsHoldingTheCalm

CONNECT WITH DR. CAM CASWELL

• Website: AskDrCam.com
• Instagram: @DrCamCaswell
• Parenting Teens Academy

ABOUT THE SHOW

Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam is hosted by Dr. Cam Caswell, an adolescent psychologist and certified parenting coach. Each episode gives you practical strategies, expert advice, and real-world insight to build a stronger relationship with your teen.

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