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Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam
Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam

How to Process Your Feelings When Your Teen Comes Ou

44 min•4 mars 2025
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Om avsnittet

Did your teen just come out, and you're not sure how to feel? Whether you're surprised, scared, grieving the future you pictured, or simply unsure what to say, you're not alone, and those feelings don't make you a bad parent.

👉 Want to be the safe place your teen needs? Inside Parenting Teens Academy, you'll find a judgment-free community, room for your own questions and feelings, and guidance to stay close to your teen through every stage. Try it free for 7 days

In this episode, I sit down with Heather Hester, founder of Chrysalis Mama, host of the podcast Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen, and mom of two LGBTQ+ kids. Raised in a conservative Christian home, Heather shares what happened the night her son came out at 16, how she worked through her own fears and grief, and how to support your teen without unintentionally causing harm.

Your feelings are real and valid. The key is working through them with friends, a counselor, or other parents, not with your teen. That way, home stays the safe place your teen needs while you find your footing.

If your teen is struggling or in crisis, The Trevor Project offers free, confidential support 24/7 for LGBTQ+ young people. Call 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678-678.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN

  • How to process your own feelings, and why to do it with friends or professionals, not your teen
  • How to grieve the expectations you had without putting them on your teen
  • Why your teen is often already sure of who they are when they come out
  • The #1 question never to ask your LGBTQ+ teen, and what to ask instead
  • Whether social media is "influencing" your teen, or helping them find community
  • How to handle pronoun or name mistakes without making them a big deal

EPISODE CHAPTERS

  • 00:00 Raising an LGBTQ+ teen
  • 02:59 Heather's story of acceptance
  • 05:58 What happens when your teen comes out
  • 09:05 Why unconditional love matters most
  • 12:02 Common parent worries and misconceptions
  • 15:03 Is social media influencing my teen's identity?
  • 17:51 Making home a safe space
  • 21:03 Building resilience and acceptance
  • 22:54 Why you need to do your own learning
  • 25:04 Seeing your whole child, not just their identity
  • 28:50 Grieving the expectations you had
  • 30:32 Understanding fluid identities
  • 33:14 Letting go of social norms
  • 36:01 Letting your teen be authentic
  • 39:12 Letting go of control
  • 42:17 Helping your teen build resilience

RESOURCES MENTIONED

CONNECT WITH HEATHER HESTER

CONNECT WITH DR. CAM CASWELL

ABOUT THE SHOW

Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam is hosted by Dr. Cam Caswell, an adolescent psychologist and certified parenting coach. Each episode gives you practical strategies, expert advice, and real-world insight to build a stronger relationship with your teen.

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